Both of tonights movies have something in common. They are uncommonly expensive out on Amazon. Our first feature is currently $22.49 and our second feature is $25.99. Ouch. Thanks to NetFlix we can see these for about a buck each.
Sperhauk had done a search for science fiction and foreign films and he found In The Dust Of The Stars. It's an East German film from 1976. Some space guys and gals from the planet Cynro arrive at the planet Tem. They had gotten a distress signal. Ronk, the second in command to The Boss, tells them that the message was a mistake and everything is fine. The Captain is suspicious. There are sinister doings with Ronk and The Boss. We see they are up to something but the Captain does not. Ronk wants to kill the visitors but The Boss, wanting to avoid trouble and more visitors, wants to fool them so they leave thinking all is well. Ronk invites the crew to a party where some girls dance about in silky underwear. That's just one of the many goofy things that appear in the movie. The 70's were so funny and it would appear to be the same on both sides of the Iron Curtain. We were constantly laughing at something or another. Ronk uses music to hynotize the crew into thinking there is nothing going on. His plan has a flaw as one of the crew is left on the ship. That guy finds out what's really going on but gets captured. Things go bad quickly as the Captain shows she just isn't up to being a leader. She's no Captain Janeway, that's for sure. There are some great whacky sets and costumes which you can see in this trailer on YouTube. It does contain some nudity, so feel free to rush right over there. I'll wait. Keep an eye out for the crew in their red leather jump suits. The music is occasionally interesting and occasionally weird. The actors are mostly from Romania and Germany. They seem to do a fair job. Some of them are more over the top than others, especially Ronk and The Boss. The script is pretty standard boiler plate SF. Bad aliens oppressing the natives of the planet. Much of the movie is shot in the Troilis Salt mines in Romania where the enslaved natives toil. There are occasionally some interesting or odd shots in the movie. It does have some great locations. It was fun enough to see and I've certainly watched worse than that more than once. It's just not the movie I'd want to pay nearly 25 bucks for. Yay for NetFlix. Here's a couple of stills I found scrounging on the internet. That's The Boss in the middle. He's always spray painting his hair. Those are his dancing girls on the left and that's one of the crew on the right. She has a long dance in front of those lights. I don't think she has any clothes on. Hope they keep that spaceship nice and warm.
Joe brought a copy of Attack Girls Swim Team vs The Undead. He'd gotten it from NetFlix. It's the one that's 26 bucks on Amazon. Sperhauk had NetFlix'd it months ago but we didn't watch it then. The title sounds great, doesn't it, but the movie just doesn't live up to it's name. Some girl arrives at her new school. Some doctor comes to the school to vaccinate the girls. He passes along a serum that makes them into zombies of a sort. They get really violent and kill people. Sadly there aren't enough people in this movie to populate a school. I think we only see 3 or 4 teachers and less than a dozen students. The swim team mostly gets wiped out and by the end of the film there aren't but a couple of people left. There's a fair bit of gore but it's not very well done. If some 15 years old kids had made this at their school, it probably would be better but we wouldn't get all the nudity. There's not much story since most of the running time is taken up with the girls getting their kit off and running about in the altogether. Nice though those birthday suited gals are they just don't make up for the lack of movie. I mean really with the internet at your finger tips you can see all the naked ladies you want. The film makers just didn't try very hard with the story part, barely rising above the soft core girlfest they built. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who likes a movie and for once I seem to be on the side of the majority out on the sites I look at for movies. People seem to find it poor to say the least. So, not one to buy, and for most, never one to watch. I'm happy to see it. I can feel good about warning you to stay away, fill up part of a post, and get in my daily minimum of complaints. I'm in training to be a curmudgeon when I get older. It's a personal goal. A guys got to have a reason to keep going once he retires. Get off my lawn!



