PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Empire Of The Ants 1977

Empire Of The Ants 1977 Written by Bert I Gordon and Jack Turley, directed by Bert I Gordon. Bert's still going and he'll be 100 on September 24 2022.

I'd seen this not that many years ago and thought it was entertaining in a slight way. It scores a 4.2 on the IMDb and that's not an unfair score. I gave it a four. It's just not one of Bert's better works. Not that Bert had many good films in the 2 dozen he directed. There's a reason they featured on MST3K so often.

I found a Blu-ray of Empire Of The Ants and Jaws Of Satan. I didn't have either film and it was cheap. Now someone's selling copies on Amazon for $65 to $81. Stuff goes out of print quite quickly, despite not being worth that much moolah.

I mostly picked up the Blu-ray because it had a commentary by Bert. Despite his faults I was kind of interested in the guy because of his 50s films. He started as monster and horror film maker and has kept an oar in the genre ever since. Sadly Bert doesn't keep his oar in the water of the commentary. I don't know if it was his age, his lack of interests in doing a commentary, whatever he just wasn't participating very much in the process.

It doesn't help he was being interviewed by Kevin Sean Michaels. This guy was the worst host of a commentary I've come across. He was lackluster, didn't ask good questions and made dumb conversation. Only on a tiny number of occasions did he get Bert to reminisce about his past films for more than a yes or a no. It was mind numbing and frustrating to sit through. Boo on you Kevin.

Michaels film credentials including being an art director at Troma and making some short films, some TV and some documentaries. I can't say I've seen anything by him. I might be interested in his first couple of films, Vampira: The Movie and The Wild World Of Ted V Mikels. Hopefully they'll be less boring than this commentary.

Das Siebente Opfer 1964

Das Siebente Opfer 1964 A German adaptation of the Bryan Edgar Wallace novel, screenplay and direction by Franz Josef Gottlieb. It was released in the US as The Racetrack Murders.

Some rich people have a nice racehorse, some baddies are determined to stop it from running. A henchman throws a snake on the track and the jockey is killed when the horse rears up. Later that night the rich people host a party and someone kills the trumpet player mid-song. More murders follow.

The police and an insurance investigator team up to figure out who's behind the killings. It's got a bit of action but it's very talky. It's only about average for one of these German Wallace adaptations. Still, I was glad to see it. You can take a gander, it's on YouTube, link above.

Hypothetical Series 4

Hypothetical Series 4 Created by Josh Widdicombe, Tom Craine and Matthew Crosby. Written by Tom Craine and Matthew Crosby. Presented by Josh Widdicombe and James Acaster. Eight episodes are currently airing in the UK.

Each episode has 2 pairs of guests making stuff up for points. Josh poses some hypothetical questions and James passes out the points. Each round has a different different theme, the last round is always big hat or small hat. There's usually plenty of clowning around and an occasional improve skit.

The 4th series has some of Britain's top comedians, along with Victoria Coren Mitchell and Richard Osman. Some of my favs: Richard Ayoade, Maisie Adam, Dara O Briain, Bill Bailey, Jo Brand, Darren Harriot, Jon Richardson, Ross Noble and Angela Barnes. It's a bit chaotic, there's some swearing and plenty of noise. Gags are plentiful and usually make me laugh. I do like the Acaster brand of humor. Josh is more observational type of humor, James is more story driven, he appears in most of the skits. I had a nice time watching them.

The Last Stand 2013

The Last Stand 2013 Written by Andrew Knauer and directed by Kim Jee-woon. I've only seen one of the director's movies. I enjoyed The Good, The Bad, The Weird.

Arnold is a sheriff in a small town in Arizona. It's right across a canyon from Mexico. Some baddies turn up on Harry Dean Stanton's farm and Harry doesn't last too long in the movie. Peter Stormare is one of the baddies. Luis Guzmán is one of Arnold's deputies, Johnny Knoxville is a colorful local character with a big ass gun collection.

Forest Whitaker is an FBI guy who's in charge of transporting a captured drug lord. The drug lord has a passel of pals and they pluck him out of the street with a giant magnet on a crane. The drug lord drives off in a fast car, headed for the border. He's got more pals and those pals have machine guns. The road blocks don't last long and dead cops litter the highway.

The baddies at Harry's farm have been busy, they've built a bridge over the canyon. The baddies have some trouble ahead as Arnold's deputies have found Harry's body. The drug lord hits the town only to find they're ready for him. The baddies don't fare to well against Arnold and company.

here's plenty of gun fire, car chases, explosions and wisecracking. It's a decent action film that was fun enough to watch. I'd watch it again someday.

Science Fiction Sunday 691

Doctor Who 0097 The Invasion Of Time Six part story that aired February 4 to March 11 1978. Written by David Agnew, a pseudonym for Graham Williams and Anthony Read, and directed by Gerald Blake. 

The Tardis gang arrive in Gallifrey where the Doctor gets to the new President. He's very bossy and yells at people. It's part of his plan to save the planet from some aliens. After he does that some Sontarans show up. That takes the last two episodes to work through.

I'm still thinking it's a bit long but I enjoyed it anyway. It's the last appearance of Louis Jameson. She decides to stay on Gallifrey with some guy she just meet. K-9 decides to stay too. The Doctor leaves, aboard the Tardis he uncrates a Mark 2 version of K-9 and they head off for another adventure.

Doctor Who 0098 The Ribos Operation Four part story that aired September 3 to 23 1978. Written by Robert Holmes and directed by George Spenton-Foster.

The first story of a six serial story arc. The Doctor and K-9 are recruited by the White Guardian to collect segments of the Key To Time. They are disguised and hidden someplace in the Galaxy. The WG sends Romanadvoratrelundar along to help, despite the Doctor wanting to work alone.

Ribos is the first planet they visit. They get involved with some grifters who are trying to swindle an exiled tyrant. They do find the first part of the Key To Time despite some thieves complicating things. Still an OK story. On to the next chapter in the story.

Doctor Who 0099 The Pirate Planet Four part story that aired September 30 to October 21 1978. Written by Douglas Adams and directed by Pennant Roberts.

The Doctor, K-9 and Romana arrive on Calufrax looking for the second part of the Key To Time. They find the planet is being raided of it's minerals by some alien scumbags. I did like the idea that someone has a planet that can teleport and materialize around another planet to scoop out what they need.

The Tardis gang put a stop to that dirty business and save the Earth in the bargain. Another story that I think was OK. Next week I hope to finish off the story arc.

Fernwood 2 Night 1977

Fernwood 2 Night 1977 Created by Norman Lear as a spin off of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. The show ran 65 episodes that aired Monday to Friday for 13 weeks. In 1978 the show had Barth move to the fictional southern California town of Alta Coma and renamed America 2-Night. It aired for 65 episodes and then was cancelled.

Martin Mull is Barth Gimble, twin brother to the late Garth Gimble. Barth's got a talk show on TV in Fernwood. Fred Willard plays Jerry Hubbard, Barth's sidekick on the show. Frank De Vol plays Barth's bandleader on the show, Happy Kyne, he's head of the Mirth Makers. There was an odd mix of guests each week, both on the show and in real life. Some you might recognize: Tommy Tedesco, Kenneth Mars, Bill Kirchenbauer, Jim Varney, Fannie Flagg and Dabney Coleman.

I thought it was funny when it was new and again when it aired in on Nick at Nite in the early 90s. I had copies on VHS but they were pretty poor. There's a nearly complete set of the show on the Internet Archive that aren't anything to be proud off but they are watchable and the audio seems fine on the 3 that I looked at in the episode 1 to 22 lot. There's plenty of gags and funny situations. I've been sad that it hasn't had a legit DVD release. You can get bootlegs out there. There's a link to the files on the IA above.

The 13th Letter 1951

The 13th Letter 1951 Based on the French film Le Corbeau, screenplay by Howard Koch, directed by Otto Preminger. The original 1943 film has a bit of a troubled past, it was made by a German company after the occupation of France. It was thought to demean the French people and banned until 1969.

Michael Rennie plays a doctor who works at a hospital in a small town in Quebec. Locations were filmed in the town of St Hilaire, just a few miles from Montreal. Someone in the town is writing poison pen letters to Michael and other locals. Michael gets accused of having an affair with another doctor's wife, some of the other people's letters mention him. The town is upset and the town officials haven't a clue as to the writer. Michael does some serious detecting when a young man in his care commits suicide. He'd gotten a note that said Michael wasn't telling him he is going to die from cancer. He had no cancer in his body.

Eventually Michael figures out who it was and it ends sadly. I thought it was more a drama than a film noir as some call it. It was entertaining enough but I doubt I would need to watch it over again.

Friday Night Movies 891

Ilya Muromets 1956 Written by Mikhail Kochnev, directed by Aleksandr Puusko. A Russian fantasy film that was released in the US under the name The Sword And The Dragon. Sadly, it was released released in the US by Roger Corman and he chopped 6 to 7 mins out of the film. It was the feature film in episode 617 of the 1994-1995 season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I'd seen that version several times over the years but not since around 2005.

Ilya Muromets is a big guy who lives in Kiev. He's been unable to use his arms and legs since he was a child. He has to watch some Tugars raid his village. The local men are killed and the some of the women are kidnapped to be entertainment for the Kalin. Some travelers cure Ilya and give him a big sword they'd gotten from a giant warrior.

Ilya sets off to Kiev to help fight the Tugars. On the way he captures a monster. On arrival he presents it to the Knyaz Vladimir the Fair Sun and pals up with a couple of other warriors. Vladimir has an advisor who's selling out the country to the Kalin. He gets Ilya put into prison for 10 years. Ilya's wife and son are kidnapped and sent off to the Kalin. The son is trained to be a warrior, he's also not given any info on who his father is, eventually father and son are pitted against each other. The pair bond when the son finds out Ilya is his dad.

There's even a dragon to fight. The sets are expansive and there's plenty of extras in the battle scenes. The story is a bit draggy but it's entertaining for the most part. Not sure I would need to buy the DVD.

The Blackout: Invasion Earth 2019 Written by Natalya Dubovaya, Ivan Kapitonov and Svyatoslav Podgaevskiy, directed by Egor Baranov. 

I had watched this before and have linked that post in the title. I found it as entertaining and still think it's kind of draggin' in the 2nd act. Parts of the movie are impressive but most of us were disappointed in the ending.

A Killer Walks 1952

A Killer Walks 1952 Based on the novel Envy My Simplicity by Rayner Barton, screenplay and direction by Ronald Drake. It's Ronald's only film.

A sad story about some poor farm people. Laurence Harvey and Trader Faulkner play brothers who live with their mother on a farm. Laurence doesn't care for the farm life and he wants out. Trader is a sleep walker, he once killed a bull with a gun while sleepwalking. Trader is also a bit on the dim side.

Susan Shaw plays a woman from the city who wants to have her own hair saloon. Laurence figures he could win her over by setting her up in business. He's not smart enough to figure out she's a scumbag. He comes up with a plan to kill his grandmother and blame it on his brother. Ethel Edwards plays Gran.

A lot of voters on the IMDb gave this high marks but I'm leaning to just average. Just another stupid man killing someone for some cash because he's not good enough to make it on his own. It could have used a bit more story and originality. You can see it on YouTube.

Te Araroa Tales From The Trails Series 1

Te Araroa: Tales From The Trail A 7 part trip across New Zealand hosted by Pio Terei. It aired in 2015 and 2016.

Pio Terei is a Māori comedian, actor and singer. He's the guy walking parts of the Te Araroa trail. It spans the length of the country and covers 3000 kilometers. Only a few thousand have completed the whole thing but each year sees hundred of thousands of people walking different segments of the trail.

Along the way Pio meets up with some locals and learns something or cooks something. It's fairly informative and low key. I enjoyed the show but wouldn't need to watch it again.