PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

The Day Mars Invaded Earth 1962 Written by Harry Spalding and directed by Maury Dexter.

Kent Taylor is a scientist on a project to send a robot to Mars. The robot fails shortly after landing but not before it sends a powerful signal to the Earth. Kent takes a bit of a vacation to visit his family. Marie Windsor plays his somewhat estranged wife, Betty Beall and Gregg Shank play his children.

The family members start seeing each other roaming around the estate where they're staying. The distant figures don't respond to a call and quickly move out of sight. Soon they're seeing themselves and wondering what the hell is going on. We learn a bit later that the probe on Mars has worried the energy beings on the red planet and they've come to put a stop to the invasion from Earth. It even has a bit of a shock ending.

It was fairly decent for a low budget picture from Robert L Lippert. I enjoyed it even after a couple of previous viewings. You can check it out on YouTube. Link above.

The Flying Saucer 1950 Story by Mikel Conrad, screenplay by Howard Irving Young, produced and directed by Mikel Conrad. Mikel also plays the lead, a guy called Mike Trent. This is the only film Mikel directed. He'd acted in a couple of dozen films and appeared on an episode of Strange Stories. His career started in 1946 and ended in 1957.

Mike Trent is a well known playboy, he gets called back into the military to take a job for his old boss. He's to pretend he's had a nervous breakdown and take a break in the family cabin near Juno Alaska. The military is supplying a nurse, she's really Agent Vee Langley. There have been reports of flying saucers in the area and Soviet spies have been seen around Juno. Mike and Agent Vee arrive by ship and travel a short way to the cabin. It's right in the middle of some nice scenery, too bad it's a B&W film.

Mike and Agent Vee spend some time wandering around the area. Mike is skeptical of the saucer but they eventually see it flying above the cabin. As the movie plays out we meet the Soviet spies and the Commie sympathizer who wants to sell the saucer out from under his boss. The Russians say they'll pay $1,000,000. Nice but I'd want to see the money up front. Eventually the location of the flying saucer is revealed and there's a bit of murder and some fighting. Sadly it's less action packed than a guy might like.

On average it's a bit below average. It's rather padded out and reminds me of a 40s serial. I found a copy on YouTube that's better than the one I had. I might not get around to it again but who knows. Link for the movie in the title.

Friday Night Movies 1047

Inflatable Sex Doll Of The Wastelands 1967 Written and directed by Atsushi Yamatoya. A Japanese crime film that's often labeled as a pink film because of the sex and nudity. This is Yamatoya's second feature film as a director, he only directed 6 films between 1966 and 1974. He found he liked writing films more than directing. Between 1966 and 1990 he wrote just over 40 films and 22 TV episodes. I've only seen a few of his films, Gakidama, Branded To Kill, Capone Cries A Lot, Lupin The 3rd: The Mystery Of Mamo, and his Lupin TV episodes. Yamatoya died in 1993. ISDOTW was released under the title of Horror Doll, it's also titled Dutch Wife Of The Desert or The Dutch Wives Of The Wild. A Dutch wife is a body length pillow designed to be hugged while sleeping.

Yamatoya had worked on the script of Seijun Suzuki's film Branded To Kill before he wrote and directed this film. I'm a huge Suzuki fan, BTK and Tokyo Drifter are my two favorites of his films. Both stand out for their film making style. Inflatable Sex Doll Of The Wastelands isn't anywhere near as accomplished as Branded To Kill. Suzuki was a much better film maker in the 1960s.

The story in ISDOTW isn't as coherent as I might like. Reviews and comments by fans seem to have different views on what's going on and what it means. A man called Naka hires a guy called Sho. Reviews label him a hit man or a detective. Naka shows Sho a film of his girlfriend Sae who's being abused and raped in front of him while he's tied to a chair. The baddies are filming all the action. This happened to him 6 months ago and Kana has become obsessed with the film, watching it over and over. The baddies keep calling Kana and letting him hear Sae crying.

Sho shows off how well he shots by blasting a small tree apart with two pistols. Sho knows the leader of the baddies, a guy called Kô, a man who had murdered Sho's girlfriend some time ago. He's to meet Kô and his henchmen the next day at 3:00 PM, the same time his girlfriend was killed. Sho fantasizes killing Kô with great regularity but come the showdown Sho is distracted by a woman and he fails his mission. Kana hires another man to kill Kô.

I liked the core of the film, I liked the score of the film, I liked the street scenes of the city, I liked the barren rural area where Naka meets the hit men. Mostly it's a revenge story but some parts left me wondering. There's a fair level of dream/fantasy and a touch of the surreal. Figuring out what some scenes mean isn't something for me. Film makers are such liars, who can you trust.

I don't know if I'd buy the Blu-ray, I'm leaning to no right now. I'd rather spend my cash on something different. I don't know I'd rewatch it much either, I rather spend my remaining movie watching time re-watching Suzuki's films instead. You can see a decent copy of the film on the Internet Archive, link above. You might like it, you might not. I'll probably never know.

Heavier Trip 2024 Written and directed by Juuso Laatio and Jukka Vidgren. A sequel to the 2018 film Heavy Trip.

Impaled Rektum are in prison from events in the first movie. A cruel guard won't let them play their music. The warden is a wimpy guy with good intentions. He wants people to fill his prison. The father of the guitarist has a heart attack when he learns he owes a big pile of money to the government. Sadly, the warden won't let the guitarist out to go to the funeral. The band breaks out of prison and has an adventure in the world of professional metal. All the while the cruel guard chases after the band in her Range Rover like car, all the badges are missing so I can't be sure what it is.

A promoter has offered them a gig in Vilnius but the have no money. They sneak aboard the  Bloodmotor bus and ride with them to Vilnius. Once they get there the promoter wants them to play covers of other people's songs. They don't want to so he tells them to take a hike. The lead singer of Bloodmotor gets pulled off the stage and Impaled Rektum's lead singer Turo fills in to finish the song. The promoter offer him a chance for the band to record a song. The promoter decides to change the song and promote Turo at the expense of the band. What follows is a series of chaotic events puts the band back in prison where they let them play their own songs. The prison is full with fans who want to see the band. The warden is happy.

I enjoyed the film but not as much as Heavy Trip, it's less fresh and the story is more pedestrian. I don't feel the need to buy the movie, maybe if it gets cheaper. I found a copy on YouTube that's watchable. You can test drive it if you like. Link above.

Fat Slags 2004

Fat Slags 2004 Written by William Osborne and directed by Ed Bye. A British comedy based on the Fat Slags comic from Viz. You might recognize Ed Bye, he's been directing British comedy for decades, The Young Ones, Filthy, Rich And Catflap, The Two Ronnies, Red Dwarf, Bottom and plenty more funny programs and films. Ed has been married to Ruby Wax since the late 80s.

Sandra and Tracey are the two plus size women in the poster. Fiona Allen plays Sandra and Sophie Thompson plays Tracey. When we meet them they're getting bollixed by their foreman for their poor work habits. They are crude, self absorbed, vile and dim as a ten watt lamp. While their foreman is talking to them the factory blows up because Sandra left her cutting torch burning. Now they have to find new jobs. Lucky for them they get a letter inviting them to appear on a talk show in London. Off they go.

Jerry O'Connell plays a billionaire called Sean, he takes a flower pot to the head and becomes insane. He sees the gals on the talk show and takes a liking to them. Sean's lawyer is called Victor, he's played by Anthony Head. Victor gets the job of finding the gals and bringing them to Sean. A fashion designer is paid to make a range of clothes based on the gals look, generally they prefer brightly colored track suits stretched to the limit by flab. Because it's in the script the country goes mental over the fashion look and the gals become popular, especially after exposing their breasts on TV.

Geri Halliwell plays Sean's assistant Paige, she tries gaining some weight to be more like the gals. Tracey and Sandra fight over Sean, Tracey goes on a date with him after knocking Sandra out. Tracey accidentally bites Sean's dick off when his limo crashes to avoid running over some nuns in the road. The gals get locked up after their fight kills the General Secretary of the United Free World. They get tossed into the Tower Of London. Sean gets hit on the head and comes to his senses. The gals are trashed and dumped. They head home to their boyfriends and show off their boobs while dancing at the pub. Life is back to normal for these idiots.

There's a ton of other actors I didn't mention, until now, James Dreyfus, Naomi Campbell, Angus Deayton, Hugh Dennis, Lederere, Rick Gervais, John Thompson and Dolph Lundgren. They were the ones I knew of, mostly cameos and small parts, there were still more small parts.

The film was panned by the critics and it scores a 1.9 on the IMDb, justifiably I thought. It has 4000 votes. I joined the 53% who gave it a 1. I couldn't take the chance that giving it a 2 might bring the score up a bit. Lots of people gave it a 10, 27%, reminding me people are bat shit crazy. I would guess some votes could have been bought.

I didn't care for the main characters much at all. They certainly wouldn't be the sort of people I would want to spend any time with. The jokes are tired old dogs, I wasn't even cracking a smile. Graham Dury, the comic's creator said he 'was so appalled by the film, he threatened to stop drawing the strips'. We'd be all better off had he never drawn it. I've just never cottoned to the VIZ style. The film got listed as one of the worst British films ever made. You can see it on YouTube, link above. There are animated versions of the gals too but I couldn't bring myself to watch them.

Joe Lycett's United States Of Birmingham

Just finished watching Joe Lycett's United States of Birmingham and it was joyous. Joe spent a month in the US going to all the Birmingham towns to get document of friendship signed by the mayor or other reps. Joe spent a lot of time on a bus with his driver Randy and the film crew. Most of the Birmingham towns are small and scattered across the middle eastern part of the US. Joe had various adventures in each town. The last episode of four took place in Birmingham Alabama and Birmingham UK.

In Joe's beloved home town the Mayor signed all the friendship agreements and partied with local dignitaries and famous rock stars like Black Sabbath, Joan Armatrading and UB40. There was a parade and Joe dressed appropriately. Joe even brought Randy and three other Americans he'd meet in Birminghams. They got to tour Birmingham with Joe and were part of the celebration. It's good reminder that there are decent folks out there and Joe is a brilliant comedian. He just won the BAFTA for Late Night Lycett, for the second time. Joe's aunts were invited to the celebration. It was nice to see them again.

Science Fiction Sunday 846

Quatermass TV Serial 1979 Written by Nigel Kneale, directed by Piers Haggard. Verity Lambert was the Executive producer. A four part TV serial that aired in October and November 1979 on ITV. The producers created a 100 movie version called The Quatermass Conclusion for the US and other countries. John Mills stars as Bernard Quatermass.

Set in a troubled future with massive urban collapse in the worlds largest cities. Quatermass has retired to a small town in Scotland. He's come to London to appear on a TV show only to get attacked near the studio. A man called Joe Kapp helps run the baddies off. He's an astronomer who was scheduled to appear on the same show. He has a radio telescope. The show is about the joint American and Russian space program. Two ships are to dock but something happens and they are destroyed.

Joe takes Quatermass back to his home which is next to his radio telescope. They encounter the Planet People, hippy like young people who believe that space aliens will take them to another planet for a better life. Turns out space aliens are taking them but not to another planet. A bright beam of light turns them into ash. Over time Quatermass figures out that it's aliens and they're harvesting humans for something, much like humans harvest musk deer for their musk.

Quatermass assembles a team of scientists to figure out how to fight the alien. He's going to set off a 35 kiloton nuclear weapon. He's going to attract the alien's attention by faking a gathering of young people. Quatermass and Joe are going to manually set off the nuke. As the trap is set the Planet People arrive, among them is Quatermass's grand daughter. Joe is killed and Quatermass has a heart attack, his grand daughter helps him set off the bomb. The Earth survives and so far no alien attacks. Maybe they are gone. Who knows.

I saw the movie version back in the 80s and hadn't watched it since. It's my least favorite of the Quatermass stories. The 204 min TV version is fairly well done but show going and rather depressing. Originally the BBC had the production but let it go after reasoning the budget was too much for them and the story too depressing. ITV got it and it didn't pull in the punters as they hoped. I'm thinking I wouldn't bother with it again. You can see both the serial and the movie version on Dailymotion.

Friday Night Movies 1046

Tilbury 1987 Written by Þórarinn Eldjárn and Viðar Víkingsson, directed by Viðar Víkingsson. An Icelandic TV film based on the folk horror tale of the Tilberi.It's part of the Severn folk horror box set All The Haunts Are Ours.

The movie is set during WW2 when the British were stationed in Iceland in 1940, the US moved in when they joined the war effort in 1941. A teen age farmer called Auðun wants to be a champion swimmer, he goes to Reyjavik to use the larger pool than the one available in his village. He encounters the British Army who are dating the local ladies. 

Auðun knows a couple of the ladies, Gudrún and Sigrún both came from his village. Auðun has a big crush on Gudrún but it turns out she's dating a General in the British Army. The General is an odd looking guy and as the story unfolds it turns that's the least interesting part of his personality. As Auðun digs into the General and his lady friend he finds out that the military man is a tilberi and Gudrún is his victim.

There's a fair bit of day to day life going on, some swimming and some interaction with the British soldiers. Auðun tries to investigate the tilberi but he's not much of a detective. Some of the activity is rather comical, the dance sequence is fun, and some of the gore effects are both serious and silly. The Icelandic sense of humor is rather dour but I enjoyed the quirky story. It ends with one of those scenes that have little meaning.

I though this was more entertaining than the other two films I watched this evening. I'd watch it again some time. I want to take a look at the extras at some point. 

The Dreaming 1988 Written by Mario Andreacchio, Rob George and Stephanie McCarthy, directed Mario Andreacchio. An Australian movie infused with aboriginal mythology. Part of All The Haunts Are Ours set.

Dr Cathy Thornton treats an aboriginal woman who was beaten by security guards after she broke into a museum with some native friends. She dies leaving Cathy upset. That night she dreams the dead woman is outside her window and some whaling men break into her house. Her father Bernard is an archaeologist who's arguing with his university over a dig on Kangaroo Island. He calls Cathy the next day to tell her that her mother has died. The university shuts down the dig because of aboriginal protests but Bernard doesn't care, he's gone back to the island. Cathy follows.

Cathy continues to have bad dreams. More horrible things happen, her husband dies and she pushes her father off a lighthouse when he chases her up the tower. It's all rather lack luster and dull. I sure didn't care that much for it. I'm unlikely to watch it again. The aboriginal story line is the most interesting thing in the movie. There is some nice scenery, especially along the coast and on the island. It all makes me less likely to want to purchase the second Severn box set of folk horror.

Kadaicha 1988 Written by Ian Coughlan and directed by James Bogle. Another from the Severn box set All The Haunts Are Ours. It's also called Stones Of Death.

Someone is killing local teenagers. Turns out some of the houses are built over an aboriginal burial ground. Naughty, naughty. Gail's dad Eric is the developer who built the houses, knowingly illegal. Her friends have been attacked and she's on the hit list. Eric refuses to believe her it's supernatural and more kids die. The rest of the movie is filled with running about and murdering teens.

It's pretty much average but slightly more entertaining than the previous movie. I'd watch it again but who knows when that's going to happen. I do want to check out the extras at some point.

The Nightmare Worlds Of H G Wells Series 1 2016

The Nightmare Worlds Of H G Wells Series 1 2016 Based on H G Wells stories, series created, produced and written by Graham Duff, directed by Adrian Shergold. Four episodes aired in January and February 2016. Graham Duff is an actor writer who created one of my favorite shows Ideal.

The four stories are The Late Mr Elvesham, The Devotee Of Art, The Moth and The Purple Pileus. Each story has characters who make poor decisions and suffers consequences. In The Late Mr Elvesham a man gets robbed of his youth, acting on impulse he makes his situation even worse. The other characters make similar choices and fare poorly. All are set in the Victorian Era with Ray Winstone as H G Wells doing some narration.

They shows have some good actors and decent production values. The 23 min length supports the story type. They are a bit creepy but none of them are outstanding and the series gets a deserved 5.9 on the IMDb. Having Wells narrate so much made the stories weaker than they could have been. I mostly enjoyed them but probably wouldn't bother with them again. Sad, I've watched Ideal 4 or 5 times and still enjoy it.

Father Brown 1954

Father Brown 1954 Based on The Blue Cross by G K Chesterton, screenplay by Thelma Schnee, Maurice Rapf and Robert Hamer, directed by Robert Hamer. The film was released in the US under the title The Detective. The movie was produced by Paul F Moss, the husband of Thelma Schnee. The picture was released on June 8 and Moss died 5 days later. Thelma had given birth to a daughter on June 5 1954. Alex Guinness plays Father Brown and Peter Finch plays Gustav Flambeau.

Father Brown is caught stuffing a safe with cash, he was putting the money back to help a parishioner, played by Sidney James, the police don't believe him and pop him in the nick. The Bishop comes to confirm who he is and the police let him out. He gets a telling off by the Bishop, played by Cecil Parker, who then informs him he's to loan his church's 1200 year old cross to a meeting in Rome. The police, in the form of Inspector Valentine, played by Bernard Lee, want to ship the cross with guards to keep it from being stolen by famous thief Gustav Flambeau. Father Brown refuses their help, stating he'll carry the cross in a nondescript parcel, hiding in plain site as it were.

Father Brown makes it to Paris before Flambeau, disguised as a priest, steals the cross. He leaves Father Brown tied up in a catacomb. Now Father Brown is in hot water with the church hierarchy. He tries to lure Flambeau out with a fancy silver chess set belonging to his friend Lady Warren, played by Joan Greenwood, but the thief proves to be slippery and runs off with the set. When Father Brown and Lady Warren return to her house they find Flambeau there with the chess set. Sidney James's character is now Lady Warren's chauffeur. Valentine turns up and Father Brown helps him escape.

Now Father Brown is in trouble with the church and the police, he runs off to Paris to try to find Flambeau and get the cross back. He follows the few clues he has and successfully locates Flambeau. He wants hm to repent and return everything he stole. That almost works, the police show up and recover the goods but the thief escapes. Days later Flambeau turns up at Father Brown's church during the sermon.

It's an entertaining movie with a good script and cast. Besides the few mentioned I knew Ernest Clarke, Sam Kydd, John Horsley, Jack McNaughton and Eugene Deckers. I found it on the Internet Archive, link above. I'll definitely want to watch it again sometime.

Murder In Eden 1961

Murder In Eden 1961 Based on a story by John Haggerty, screenplay by H E Burden, directed by Max Varnel. A British art forgery crime film that was filmed in Ireland. 

An art expert tells a gallery owner that the painting of Eve is a fake. Shortly after he's run down by a big car. A French reporter sticks her nose in everywhere. A policeman on the art forgery squad takes a liking to her but it's a doomed relationship. There's plenty of driving about and chatting.

Not a good film, the script is weak, the jokes are tired, I gave it a generous 5. I did like some of the Irish scenery.

Murder At Dawn 1932

Murder At Dawn 1932 Original story and screenplay by Barry Barringer, directed by Richard Thorpe. An American old dark house sort of mystery that was called The Death Ray in the UK. Oddly enough, there is no death ray in the film. The poster is a lie.

A couple want to visit her father to tell him they are getting married. The couple and their best man and woman travel by train to his country mansion. The bride's father is a scientist who's invented a secret device to get power from sunlight. When they get the father's house they get tossed into a mystery, a man is murdered and the bride's father has disappeared. The couple and their pals stumble around the big house while the housekeeper's son tries to coerce the formula out of father. Misha Auer plays the housekeeper's son. Probably the most interesting thing in the movie for me.

Sadly it's a limp biscuit of a film. You've seen everything before, usually better. The jokes are weak and the all the running about is more tiring than fun. I found it on YouTube. you can find it there but I wouldn't recommend it.