PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 1031

Doberman Cop 1977 Based on the Doberman Deka manga written by Buronson and illustrated by Shinji Hiramatsu, screenplay by Kōji Takada, directed by Kinji Fukasaku. A Japanese cop movie starring Sony Chiba as a small town cop from Ishigaki Island.

Sonny plays Kano, he's come to Shinjuku because of the local police think the burnt corpse in an apartment is possibly Yuna Tamashiro. Kano knows Yuna's mother, she's a noro, a priestesses of the Ryukyuan religion. The mother predicts Kano and Yuna will marry. The Shinjuku police make fun of Kano for being a bumpkin, he brought a pig to give to the chief of detectives as a gift. The pig was turned down so Kano has to schlep the critter around for the rest of the movie.

Kano gets some big time new headlines for rescuing a singer held hostage from an obsessive fan in her 20th floor apartment by rappelling down the side of the building and smashing through the window. Kano believes that the singer Miki might be Yuna but she says she's not. Her manager Hidemori is a yakuza who's also in love with Miki. Things get more and more complicated and violent as Kano bashes his way around town. When the police don't help him he takes some help from the biker who was the burnt woman's friend and his pals. Eventually Kano blasts the real killer.

It's a non-stop riot of color and noise. I though the movie should have been called Saidaigen no sakebi or Maximum Yelling. There's plenty of fights, gun battles and lots of yelling. Everyone is yelling all the time and the volume ramps up the more emotional they get. Bodies pile up and Kano is often responsible. I enjoyed the heck out of it and would watch it again.

Angel With The Iron Fists 1967 Written by Wei Shih and directed by Wei Lo. A Chinese action film with secret agents infiltrating a criminal gang called the Dark Angels.

Agent 009 works for the police, she's infiltrating the Dark Angels. She pretends to be rich and the girlfriend of Baldy, a big time criminal who's locked up. Baldy's gang is after her because she refuses to share a suitcase of cash with them. Agent 009 makes contact with a jeweler who's part of the DA. The DA are a ruthless gang, they like robbing and killing. Cross them and you're dead, try to leave the gang and you're dead.I suspect that's their retirement plan too.

They have a nice underground secret base, imagine something like a James Bond villain might have but cheaper and smaller. There's plenty of sneaking about, some murders, some fights and plenty of driving about in cars. Sadly the movie is too long and the action rather tame. Some of the fights are a bit embarrassing, arms flailing like a windmill of bones. Some of the score was entertaining, not the singing parts, they were way tedious.

I still enjoyed it, it was pretty darn funny, not on purpose for most of it. It's part of a three film Blu-ray set from Eureka, all the films are of the same sort, the other two films are The Golden Buddha and The Singing Thief. I hope to get to that fairly soon.

 

Friday Night Movies 1028

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard 2021 Story by Tom O'Connor, screenplay by Tom O'Connor, Brandon Murphy and Phillip Murphy, directed by Patrick Hughes. Sequel to The Hitman's Bodyguard.

Michael Bryce is seeing a therapist about his loss of license to be a Triple A bodyguard. She tells him he should take a sabbatical from guns and take a vacation. His vacation is interrupted by the arrival of Sonia Kincaid, she's looking for help getting her hubby back from the gangsters who kidnapped him. Now he's involved in the middle of a scheme to destroy Europe's economy with some magical software that turns the power grid into a ticking time bomb. A Greek billionaire who's mad that the EU is leveling sanctions on Greece.

It's a globe trotting shoot 'em up with plenty of laughs and a huge body count. Greg cast in Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Morgan Freeman, Richard E Grant, It got poor reviews form the critics and it didn't make enough money. I sure liked it more than they did. I laughed a lot, as did others in the room, and I would want to watch the pair of films again.

Le Magnifique 1973 Written by Philippe de Broca, Francis Veber and Jean-Paul Rappeneau, directed by Philippe de Broca. The film was also called The Man From Acapulco, referring back to de Broca's That Man From Rio from 1964. I think that's the only other film by de Broca I've seen.  

Jean-Paul Belmondo plays a spy novel writer François who's struggling to finish his 43rd book which is due in a few days. His imagine runs wild and he starts putting the people around him in his book. Jacqueline Bisset is his pretty neighbor, she becomes the romantic interest for the spy character. François's mean and sleazy publisher Pierre becomes the Albanian Head of the Secret Service Karpov. François is upset with his plumber and kills him off twice in the book.

The movie jumps between the reality of François life and the fantasy of the action novel. It gets more and more ludicrous as the movie plays out. There's some fun stuff going on and a few good laughs. Not as funny to me as the first movie tonight but I still enjoyed it. I'd watch it again and plan to listen to the Blu-ray commentary track.

Cry Uncle! 1971

Cry Uncle 1971 Based on the novel Lie A Little, Die A Little by Michael Brett, screenplay by David Odell with additional dialogue by Allen Garfield and John G Avildsen, directed by John G Avildsen. I read 2-3 novels by Brett back in the 80s but never read any others. John Avildsen directed a few movies I saw, Joe, Neighbors, The Karate Kid, Rocky, the only one I rewatch is Neighbors. I can't believe I would need to see the rest of his lot.

Allen Garfield plays private eye Jake Masters. He's a slobby, class lacking sort of guy who's ready to shag any woman that comes near him. He takes a case from a millionaire who's wanted by the police in a murder investigation of a dead cocktail waitress. She'd filmed the millionaire with three prostitutes and blackmailed him for $50,000 to keep it a secret. Now she's dead and millionaire man wants Jake to find the real killer.

Jake has a nephew called Keith for an assistant, they team up with the millionaire's head of security, a woman called Cora. Jake tries to hump her but she's not interested, instead she takes a tumble in the hay with younger fitter Keith. The trio question the prostitutes and all sorts of other sleazy people. Cora shows a violent side and Jake cuts her from the interviews.

Jake gets tied up by a couple of the prostitutes, they run off when their pal gets murdered. Jake gets free and follows one of the prostitutes to a house, he has sex with her while she's passed out face down on a bed. The other prostitute interrupts the action and it's discovered the unconscious woman won't be waking up, there's a bullet hole in her forehead. That Jake's a rapey dirty bastard but he does manage to find the killer. Mostly be accident. He nearly gets killed but the police save him in time by blasting the killer. Home he goes.

It's sort of a funny film but the jokes are weak at best. There's not much plot but there's plenty of nudity and sex. Some might say you see too much of Allen Garfield naked. Some might not want to see that. Some of the actors aren't that good but they do show a lot of skin. The original film company went out of biz and Troma picked up the film for their catalog. It fits well with their company style. Troma head man Lloyd Kaufman has a cameo as a hippy. I found the crappy copy I have on the internet 6 years ago. It'll probably be longer than that before I get back to it. I'm not going to buy the DVD even at 8 bucks.

The Mary Millington Movie Collection

The Mary Millington Movie Collection

A British Blu-ray set collecting Mary Millington's movies on 5 discs. The set includes feature films, shorts, documentaries and a book.

Mary became the most popular nude model and film star in late 1970s Britain. I remember seeing her in British nudie mags like Playbirds and Whitehouse that made their way to North America in the late 70s and early 80s. I never saw any of her films until more recently.

Mary was very attractive and she quickly grew famous and highly popular in the world of sex mags and films. There were thousands of pictures in the magazines, she had columns about her sex life written for her, she made nudie shorts and appeared in feature length sex films. They were all softcore, she only made a small number of hardcore films in Europe. They were illegal to show or sell in Britain at the time.

Mary made a lot of money but her views on the sex business were out of line with the government guidelines. She had her own sex shop and it was always getting raided by the police. With the police and morality squads after her, it all became too much for her and Mary ended her life by suicide in 1979

Feature Films:

Come Play With Me 1977 Written and directed by Harrison Marks. A British sex comedy that was very popular with the public. It cost £120,000 to make, by 2001 it had earned over £4 million.

A pair of forgers are hiding out from their boss in the Scottish Highlands. They're pretending to be musicians and staying in a hotel that's also a health farm. Sadly the health business is failing to attract costumers and the owner is having some financial difficulties. The quiet hotel is the ideal place for the forgers to operate, they use their music to cover up the noise of their printing press.

The hotel owner's nephew comes to stay with some dancing girls. The dancers hope to help the owner out of her financial difficulties by turning the place into a brothel. The gals will dress as nurses and offer some naughty health remedies. The attractive business makes things difficult for the forgers when their old boss and his gang come by to get their ends away. 

It's a below average musical comedy crime film with plenty of naked ladies and simulated sex. The jokes are weak and the musical numbers weaker still. I can't recommend it to anyone.

It comes on it's own disc, there's a commentary with Simon Sheridan and Sue Langhurst, a trailer, a Harrison Marks documentary, a sexy short and a Mary Millington featurette about her hardcore films with all the hardcore edited out.

The Playbirds 1978 Written and directed by Willy Roe.

A rather dark crime film about a serial killer who's targeting nude female models, he stabs them and carves a number into their foreheads. All the women have appeared nude in Playbirds magazine. The story is very much like a Giallo. Mary Millington plays a policewoman who gets selected to go undercover as a Playbirds magazine model. The movie ends with her being murdered by the killer. He turned out to be the twin of the man the police arrested.

It's a pretty terrible script, there's little sexy about it and the crime plot is pretty poor. Willy's not only a poor plotter and writer, he's a poor director too. I wouldn't recommend this either.

The movie has it's own disc with a commentary with Simon Sheridan and Willy Roe. The other extras include a documentary on photographer George Richardson, a nudie short and a featurette on Harry Knights. Harry was a writer who wrote millions of words for the UK nudie magazines. I thought that this was the most interesting thing on the disc. 

Confessions From The David Galaxy Affair 1979 Written by Joe Ireland and directed by Willy Roe. A British sex comedy with Alan Lake, Mary Millington and Diana Dors. I thought Willy was a poor film maker but Joe Ireland has him beaten hands down in the scripting department.

Alan Lake is David Galaxy, he's a playboy astrologer who shags all the birds he can pick up. The title is trying to tie this film into the Confessions series of films that were fairly popular. Confessions Of A Window Cleaner was the first in the series and it was directed by Val Guest. The charming Robin Askwith plays Timothy Lea, he's always on the pull and all the ladies fall for his charm and charms. There's plenty of nudity and humping.

David Galaxy has no charms but the women hop into bed with him anyway. Just like it was scripted. As his story unfolds things start going south for David. First he falls out of favor with one lady and when the police come knocking. They think he had been the get away car driver in a robbery 5 years ago. His alibi is a politician who just won't corroborate his story. The police don't seem to care if he's guilty or innocent and he gets thrown in jail, tried and sent to prison.

Mary Millington plays a woman that has never had an orgasm, David's pal sets them up and starts a betting syndicate with a bookie. Diana Dors was Alan Lake's real life wife, she was 10 years older than him and her career was waning. She's David Galaxy's new landlord and that proves trouble.

Sadly, it's a terrible film with almost nothing going for it. Even all the naked ladies can't make up for such uninteresting characters and a lousy script. Don't watch it.

It comes on it's own disc, it has no commentary, I'm not that bothered. It has a nice documentary with Sally Faulkner and her time on the film. There are three sexy shorts with Mary and a look at some of the locations in Mary's life and in her films. Often her sex films were filmed in her home and the homes of her film making pals.

Queen Of The Blues 1979 Written by George Evans and directed by Willy Roe. A British sex comedy set in a striptease club. Mary Millington is the star attraction.

There's not much going on here, a dumb plot about gangsters offering protection and scenes of strippers getting their kit off. There's some backstage banter between the ladies and plenty of boobies on display. It's fairly dull but the story works itself out in the end.

This movie shares a disc with the two movies below. There's a commentary for this movie with Simon Sheridan, Allan Warren and David Sullivan. There's also a short nudie film with Mary and a couple of introduction videos.

Mary Millington's True Blue Confessions 1980 Written by John M East and directed by Nick Gailtress and John M East.

A short tribute film made a year after Mary's death. Fairly interesting but a lot of the material gets reused in Respectible. There's a commentary to this film with Simon Sheridan, Allan Warren and David Sullivan. 

Mary Millington's World Striptease Extravaganza 1981 Written by John M East, David Sullivan and Bernie Winters, directed by Roy Deverell. Another short film about a strip off hosted by comedian Bernie Winters. It's not that interesting.

Respectable - The Mary Millington Story 2015 Written and directed by Simon Sheridan. 

A nearly 2 hour long documentary with plenty of interviews with friends and family plus plenty of clips from Mary's films. It's fairly interesting for the most part. There's a commentary on the movie with Simon Sheridan and Sam Dunn from BFI. There's a short documentary on Sheridan and a trailer.

Generally a poor selection of films with some more interesting extras. Hardly worth the money for the set. I wouldn't recommend it to most people. For me the most interesting material was the background on the nudie movie industry at the time.

The Hound Of The Baskervilles 1978

The Hound Of The Baskervilles 1978 Based on the 1928 novel by Arthur Conan Doyle, screenplay by Peter Cook, Dudley Moore & Paul Morrissey, directed by Paul Morrissey. I saw Morrissey just died. The only other films of his I've seen were Flesh For Frankenstein and Blood For Dracula. Both those came out just before this. I've had little interest in seeing his other films.

Peter Cook is Sherlock and Dudley Moore is Dr Watson. They are joined by some good actors: Denholm Elliot, Hugh Griffith, Terry-Thomas, Kenneth Williams, Joan Greenwood, Irene Handl, Penelope Keith, Jessie Matthews, Prunella Scales and Spike Milligan.

Sadly they can't do much with the poor script. The jokes are poor at best, some of them border on offensive, others are just not funny. This is the second time I've seen the movie. The first time was back in 2011, I had forgotten how poor it was, I didn't even bother with a blog post back then. I don't think I'll see it again.

Vampira 1973

Vampira 1973 Written by Jeremy Lloyd and directed by Clive Donner. A British comedy horror mix with David Niven and Teresa Graves. It was titled Old Dracula in the US.

David is Count Dracula, he's been having tours of his castle to lure in tourists for a quick snack. He's trying to find a certain blood type to resurrect his long dead love Vampira, she's been dead since the 1920s. Lucky for him some Playmates are due for a photo shoot.

Sneaky tests reveal one of the gals has the blood he needs. After the transfusion Vampira is revived. There's an unexpected side effect, Vampira is now black. She's played by Teresa Graves in full on flapper mode. The couple take off for London and have some adventures while snacking on the locals. It gets a bit dicey for the Count and Company near the end but they manage to get away to South America.

It's a weak comedy, some of the jokes were tired in 1974, they're darn near terminal today. There weren't many of them, good or bad. Most of the race based gags are benign, some might slip over the line, depends on where you draw it.

I did enjoy David, Teresa and Peter Bayliss as the Count's butler is entertaining. Carol Cleveland turns up as a mugging victim. I enjoyed it for what it was but I wouldn't need to buy a copy, you can watch it on YouTube, you might like it, maybe you won't.

They Might Be Giants 1971

They Might Be Giants 1971 Based on the 1961 play They Might Be Giants by James Goldman, screenplay by James Goldman, directed by Anthony Harvey.

George C Scott plays a businessman who's response to the death of his wife is to retreat into a fantasy world where he's Sherlock Holmes. His brother, played by Lester Rawlins, wants to have him committed so he can take over his brother's fortune. Rue McClanahan is the brother's girlfriend and Joanne Woodward is Dr Watson. She's a psychiatrist at the local mental hospital that the brother wants use to lock Sherlock up. The head of the hospital is a moron who just wants another paying customer. Dr Watson wants to study Sherlock and see what makes him tick.

Sherlock is on the hunt for Moriarty, he believes his nemesis is leaving clues around the city, clues Sherlock hopes will reveal Moriarty's next crime. Dr Watson joins him on his quest.They have some adventures, Sherlock gets shot at one point, and a bit of romance develops.

Holmes and Watson meet all sorts of characters on their trip through New York City. Jack Gilford is Sherlock's friend, he's a librarian. Oliver Clark is a psychiatric patient, Al Lewis plays a guy who wants to get his bill paid, Eugene Roche is a policeman, M Emmet Walsh is a garbageman, Louis Zorich is his co-worker, F Murray Abraham plays Clyde and Paul Benedict is the Chestnut Man.

There's plenty of activity and the movie spends a good bit of time on the streets of New York. On the commentary Anthony Harvey says they just filmed the scenes with local people in the background. It's funny, poignant and clever. I enjoyed it and was glad to have seen it. I would watch it again sometime which is fortuitous as I picked up the Kino Lorber Blu-ray last week. They've got another sale going on.

The Playbirds 1978

The Playbirds 1978 Written and directed by Willy Roe. A British sexplotation film with Mary Millington. She was a popular nude model for men's magazines and star of the most successful British sex comedy Come Play With Me. She died young, driven to suicide by her life choices.

This is a comedy that's blended with a murder mystery. A serial killer is attacking the centerfold girls from Playbirds magazine. We spend a good bit of time with the magazine's producers and the models that fill it's pages. The movie is filled with young woman running about with their clothes off.

The police are after the murder but he's rather illusive. There are some suspects but nothing to pin any of them to the killings. Soon there are 4 victims and no results. Mary is a police woman who's already working the case, she volunteers to become a nude model and appear in the magazine. They are hoping to flush out the murder.

It's pretty average for what it is. There's a few good gags and all those playbirds but the murder mystery part is a bit rushed. Some have compared the film to the Italian Giallo and it does seem influenced by that style. I enjoyed it but doubt I would need to watch it again. I downloaded a copy off of YouTube but as I look now, it's gone. You can download a copy from Rarelust but it takes a while.

Friday Night Movies 974

The Fearless Hyena 1979 Written and directed by Jackie Chan. The 3rd and 4th films in the Criterion Jackie Chan set.

Jackie plays Hing-lung, the lazy grandson of Pang-fei. They live in a small village. Hing-lung gambles and fights. Grandfather wants him to keep their fighting ability secret. When Hing-lung meets the sifu of the Everything Clan he's offered a job at the school. The sifu is looking for a new school name and Hing-lung suggests his fighting style, the exact thing that his grandfather warned against bandying about.

Of course, a baddie sees the name and tracks Pang-fei down. Hing-lung comes home to find his grandfather beaten to death. He has to go through the usual sort of training and fighting in order to defeat the baddie.

There's a fair bit of lowbrow comedy and slapstick going on. I got a few laughs but not that many. I did like the chopstick fight over lunch. I thought Jackie dressing up as a lady was some what amusing but didn't think that him dressing up as a cross-eyed handicap man is the sort of thing I want to see. The training sessions were lengthy as was the big fight at the end of the movie.

The only extra is a commentary by Frank Djeng. It was interesting and Frank spoke fast.

The Fearless Hyena II 1979 Written by Lo Wei and directed by Chuan Chen.

A not very funny auctioneer that had Jackie in it before he left Lo Wei  to go to Golden Harvest. After Jackie leaves, the film makers use Jacky Chung as a double. They use clips from The Fearless Hyena and Spiritual Kung-Fu.

No extras on this one. I know I'm be embarrassed to talk about it myself.

Friday Night Movies 973

Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu 1978 Written by Jackie Chan and Tang Ming-chi, directed  by Chen Chi-hwa. The first of 6 older Jackie Chan film in the new Criterion release Jackie Chan - Emergence Of A Superstar.

Jackie plays a guy called Jiang in this kung fu comedy/parody. Jiang fails to get a job as a bodyguard and takes a job as a handyman. He finds out quickly that the place is home to an evil witch. Of course, he peeks into her room, after people have told me to steer clear. He gets spotted by the witch and she wants him dead for interrupting her snake ceremony. Jiang manages to escape and goes on the run.

In the nearby woods, Jiang is witness to a fight between two kung fu masters. It's a fight to the death, in this case, both men die. Jiang takes on the identity of the good kung fu expert and takes the body of the bandit to the town council. There's a 500 tael reward. Jiang will get beat up by the sister of the good kung fu expert because his kung fu is pretty darn poor.

Jiang gets involved with some people who want to move goods from one town to another. Three groups of baddies, including the evil witch, team up to attack the caravan. They believe the rumors of a great kung fu treasure hidden in the chests. Many many die before good triumphs.

As a kung fu movie it's does fairly well, I'm just not as fond of the long drawn out fights and training sequences that were popular at the time. Things were improve in the 80s. As for the comedy part, some of the jokes work better for me than others. The comedy is pretty broad and there's plenty of slapstick and some fart jokes.

Casting Jackie in roles that might have gone to Bruce Lee or other more serious action characters just didn't gel with the audiences back then. Giving Jackie more control, first over the action and later the script, gave him a chance to find his style and the audience liked what they were seeing. In just a few years he was one of Asia's biggest movie stars.

FOUR-BLU-RAY SPECIAL EDITION FEATURES

• 2K digital restorations of Spiritual Kung Fu, The Fearless Hyena, Fearless Hyena II, The Young Master, and My Lucky Stars and high-definition digital restoration of Half a Loaf of Kung Fu, with uncompressed monaural soundtracks
• Alternate stereo and 5.1 surround Cantonese soundtracks
• Classic English-dubbed tracks for Half a Loaf of Kung Fu, Spiritual Kung Fu, The Fearless Hyena, and Fearless Hyena II, plus an English-dubbed alternate track for Fearless Hyena II
• Contemporary English-dubbed tracks for The Young Master and My Lucky Stars
• New audio commentaries for The Fearless Hyena and The Young Master featuring Hong Kong cinema expert and producer Frank Djeng (Enter the Clones of Bruce)
• Interview with author Grady Hendrix (These Fists Break Bricks) about actor-director Jackie Chan
• Archival interviews with Chan, actor-director Sammo Hung, actors Michiko Nishiwaki and Hwang In-shik, and more
• The Young Master promo reel from the 1980 Cannes Film Festival and deleted scenes from the film
• Interview from 2005 with Hong Kong cinema critic Paul Fonoroff about producer-director Lo Wei
• NG shots from The Young Master and My Lucky Stars
• Trailers
• New English subtitle translations
• PLUS: An essay by Alex Pappademas
  
  New cover by Kyle Baker

I'm looking forward to the Frank Djeng commentaries. Frank was the guy behind Tai Seng Video back in the 90s. I rented 100s of their VHS tapes from the nearly dozen Asian rental companies scattered around the Twin Cities. The only thing about the set I wasn't impressed with were the Kyle Baker illustrations. He's got the action poses but fails in the face.

Spiritual Kung Fu 1978 Written by Pan Lei and directed by Lo Wei. The second film in the Criterion Box set.

A more traditional kung fu film produced under Lo Wei's own company. This film and Dragon Fist were temporarily shelved as Lo's company was running out of cash. Lo loaned Jackie out to Seasonal Films where he acted in Snake In The Eagle's Shadow and Drunken Master. Both films were directed by Yuen Woo-ping. He'd go onto direct many big hits in the genre, including Magnificent Butcher, Dreadnaught, Iron Monkey, Tai Chi Master and Wing Chun. He was even more active as a fight and stunt choreographer. The popularity of the Season films were enough to convince Lo he should release the two films he had on hold. It wasn't enough to keep the company going and it folded soon after. Jackie signed on with Golden Harvest.

Jackie is a student at a Shaolin Temple. He's the guy who's always in trouble and not that good a fighter. The night he falls asleep on guard duty the temple is robbed and an old fighting manual is stolen. The techniques in the book are banned because they are so deadly. The only manual on how to fight those styles has been missing for 1oo years. Sad, where's your back up Shaolin monks?

Jackie is punished and has to guard the haunted library. Lucky for him a meteor shower releases 5 ghosts from the manual, The book has been hidden in a crack in the wall all this time. Jackie gets trained up by the ghosts and becomes a good fighter. He sets out to find the thief.

The action scenes are more interesting than a lot of the films of the time and despite it's more serious nature the gags are slightly better than the the previous film. Both were fun to watch and I'm looking forward to getting into the rest of the box set.