PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Legends Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977

Legend Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977 Screenplay by Masaru Igami, Isao Matsumoto and Ichirô Ôtsu, directed by Junji Kurata.

 

Made by Toei Company, the studio was inspired by Jaws, the film did poorly in the Japanese theaters but was a block buster in the Soviet Union. It was known in the US as The Legend Of Dinosaurs and it was used in the last episode of the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 which was produced by KTMA. That version was chopped up a good bit, the original movie got a US DVD release in 2007 from Media Blasters and that's what I watched.

A woman falls into a cavern, in the Aokigahara region near Mount Fuji, she awakes to find fossilized eggs, one of which hatches. She runs off and scares a construction crew with her hysterics. A geologist called Takashi goes to take a look, while hiking around Mount Fuji he's knocked out and wakes up in the cabin of a family friend. Takashi continues his hunt for the eggs, on the way he meets an old girlfriend Akiko. She's there with her friend Junko, a scuba diver, who wants to dive in the lake where a couple in a small boat went missing.

A diver is injured in the lake, livestock have gone missing, wild theories of living dinosaurs are tossed out to the dubious public. Well, turns out it wasn't a dinosaur, it was two, one of them a plesiosaurus and the other a rhamporhynchus. The pair battle it out and the volcano erupts killing both dinos. It's a bad day on Mount Fuji and the movie ends on a cliffhanger.

I was much more entertained by the movie than on MST3K. It was like seeing a whole different movie, the MST3K version had so much trimmed out of it. It's a more adult film than I thought, there's a bit of gore, mild by today's standards and a brief bit of nudity. I'd watch it again.

I'm not sure why it did so poorly in the Japanese box office. It was Toei's biggest budget, $2.8 million and it didn't even get a third of that back in receipts. It never got released theatrically in the US but it was released to TV in 1987.

No Blade Of Grass 1970

No Blade Of Grass 1970 Based on the 1956 novel The Death Of Grass by John Christopher, screenplay by Sean Forestal and Jefferson Pascal (Cornel Wilde), directed by Cornel Wilde.

The movie starts when the grass destroying virus finally gets to the UK. It's already decimated Asia, Africa and parts of Europe. Nigel Davenport is a guy who's leading his family on their journey from London to his brother's farm in the north of England.

Nigel tries to buy some guns but the seller says they have to wait for paperework to get signed off. Nigel tries to take the guns and leave some money but the seller gets the drop on him. Nigel tells the seller he needs the guns to get out of town and resettle at his brother's farm. He needs to go now, he knows the government is going to be locking down the city in the next day or so. He offers the seller a chance to go with them but the guy doesn't want to leave. The seller's assistant Pirrie shoots him dead and joins the group.

They rest of the movie has a series of encounters with people along the road. Nigel and Pirrie shot a lot of people before they get to the farm. They've also picked up a good number of people along the way. At the farm's barricade the brother is happy to see Nigel but he won't let them all in. He says the valley can't support that many people but Nigel and the family can join the farm.

Nigel rallies the group into attacking the farm, he's sad when his brother is killed. I was sad that I watched the movie. I bought a cheapish DVD, I'll keep it but it's doubtful that ever watch it again.

Friday Night Movies 922

The Humanoid 1979 Written by Adriano Bolzoni and Aldo Lado, directed by Aldo Lado. Aldo used the George B Lewis name in the US release. It's an Italian film and that sort of name change was really common to disguise the films origin. They didn't disguise any of the ideas they pilfered from the first Star Wars film.

That's Graal, he's the brother of The Great Brother who rules Metropolis. Graal wants to kill TGB and take over Metropolis. It's far in the future and Metropolis is the new name for the Earth.

Graal has escaped from a prison planet. Aboard a stolen warship he's enlisted Dr Kraspin to help him in his plan. Graal sends some troops to steal a supply of Kapitron. He's going to use it to change the citizens of Metropolis into a Humanoid army. Barbara Bach plays Lady Agatha, the Queen of Noxon, she's a bad bad lady. She wants to be Graal's wife and share the power. I didn't think Graal was the marrying kind.

Graal tests the Kapitron on a guy called Golob, who's played by Richard Kiel, and it's a success. The Kapitron turns Golob into a clean shaven killing machine. That's Golob with his robot dog. I did like the robot dog. The robot dog is no K-9 but Golob enjoys his companionship on long space trips.

Kraspin has been giving Lady Agatha anti-aging treatments. The core of the daily treatment involves killing a young woman everyday and using something extracted from her body for the serum. Graal, Kraspin and Lady Agatha are a trio of scumbags that need putting down.

Leonard Mann plays Nick, he's the hero of the story, he joins with a scientist called Barbara Gibson and a boy with powers called Tom Tom. Lucky for them Tom Tom has a couple of pals with bows and light up arrows, they are quite good at dispatching Graal's soldiers.

The two sides battle it out in space and on Noxon. The film uses locations in Israel for Noxon. It's very Tunisian. Eventually the baddies are defeated and Metropolis is saved.

For an Italian space opera is pretty darn good. It's not Star Wars good but the sets and effects are decent. The script is it's weakest element but it still gets you to the end of the story. I enjoy it more than most Italian SF and would watch it again.

Sint 2010 Written and directed by Dick Mass. I'd seen this several years ago and enjoyed it. Here's that 2016 post.

Saint Nick is the US title of the 2010 Dutch film Sint (Saint). It's written and directed by Dick Mass who had made videos for Golden Earring and several feature films I haven't seen. Sinterklaas is the Saint Nick of the title and he's a right bastard. We meet him at the beginning of the movie, it's December 5 1492 and ex-bishop Nick and his gang of thugs are visiting the town for their usual killing and looting. Some of the villagers get riled up and attack the men. They burn the ex-bishop's ship. He returns any time December 5 has a full moon.

The next time we see Nick it's 1968 and then it jumps to the present day. People don't believe the Saint Nick legend but some of them get pretty fucked up just the same. One teen fights back and there's a huge body count.

It's was pretty entertaining in a monster killing folks kind of way. It was interesting to see Amsterdam in a horror movie. It's kind of gory and definitely not a Christmas movie for kids. In fact Maas had a complaint filed against him. Here's the bit from the Wikipedia.

While children are not permitted to see the film, parental concern arose over the film's poster, seen in the streets and in the lobbies of movie theaters. It shows Sinterklaas with a mutilated face and a malevolent look. Some people were concerned that this could be confusing and frightening for little children that still believe in Sinterklaas. A legal complaint was filed in October 2010, requesting the removal of all posters. In the subsequent court case, director Dick Maas argued that if parents could make their children believe that Sinterklaas existed they could also inform their children that the man on the poster was not the real Sinterklaas. The court ruled in favor of Maas, noting that the mutilated face was not visible enough on the poster, and rejected the complaint.

The Asphyx 1972

The Asphyx 1972 Story by Christina Beers and Laurence Beers, screenplay by Brian Comport, directed by Peter Newbrook.

Victorian scientists trying to figure out death find that a magical blur comes to collect the soul when someone is dying. They figure out how to capture the magical blur and gain immortality. It doesn't go well for the people involved. You'd think the screen writers had something against the poor saps.

Pretty much average. You can check it out on YouTube.

Prophecies of Nostradamus 1974

Prophecies of Nostradamus 1974 Original Japanese title Nosutoradamusu No Daiyogen. Based on the novel Prophecies of Nostradamus: The Approaching Month of July 1999 and the Day of Humanity's Collapse by Ben Goto, screenplay by Toshio Yasumi, directed by Toshio Masuda. This was Toho's follow up to the 1973 disaster movie Japan Sinks. Scenes from that film and The Last War were used in PON.

Nostradamus's prophecies feature in the movie but in reality they really don't predict anything at all. The main drive of the movie is a speculation on the Eco death of the Earth. In a long talk with the members of the government a scientist offers up a big kill off for humanity, the left over humans are riddled with radioactivity and their children are born mutants. The Prime Minister hopes people will pull together to save the planet.

Some of the horrific footage of the destruction and make up on the poor mutants didn't go down well with the censors. There were edits made on a re-release and the movie was shelved and never released on home media. I got a copy from a guy, it's not that great looking but it's better than the version over at the Internet Archive. See link above for that.

It's a fairly decent film but not one I would need to watch a whole bunch. Worth a look for the fan of the end of the world.

Blood Of Ghastly Horror 1971

Blood Of Ghastly Horror 1971 Written by Al Adamson, Mark Eden, Chris Martino, Dick Poston and Samuel M Sherman, directed by Al Adamson. This is the third version of Psycho A Go-Go, like the second version, The Fiend With The Electronic Brain, new footage was shot for a newish version of the story that has footage from the previous two films. You can read more about the changes on the films Wikipedia page.

The film starts with a half dozen people being strangled, the last being a two header with these gormless idiots mugging to the camera.

John Carradine plays a scientist who puts a device in Roy Morton's head in the second version. Roy thanks him for making him a homicidal killer by putting John in his own machine.

New footage with Kent Taylor, Tommy Kirk and Regina Carrol was added for the third version, Tommy's a cop looking back at an old case. Tommy Kirk said he got $1000 for a couple of days work and is was the low point of his career. Sad, huh.

Like Jerry Warren and his ilk, Al and Sam should have the fleshless skull of Paul Naschy banged repeatedly on their nether regions as punishment for making these films. Psycho A Go-Go is nearly a film, they should have left it at that. Of course, they all went on to make more bad films. Don't watch them, watch something better.

Friday Night Movies 850

Yeti: Giant Of The 20th Century 1977 Written by Mario Di Nardo and Giancarlo Parolini, directed by Frank Kramer. Italian Yeti movie filmed partially in Toronto.

We watched the Blu-ray of the film. I thought I hadn't seen it before but I recognized the scene with the rich businessman in a box under a helicopter from the first scene in the film. I didn't remember much of the rest of the film. I watched it on YouTube back in July 2012. That YouTube video is still there, it looks pretty poor, there's another version on YouTube that looks better. Link in the title above. Of course the Blu-ray looks even better but I can't see paying 20 bucks for a copy.

It is a pretty entertaining movie but for all the wrong reasons, I'm laughing at it. There's way too many goofy goings on to poke fun at to get at them all. The Yeti's costume provided much humor and none of us could keep a straight face on viewing the sad puppy dog looks the Yeti had for the pretty girl. The theme is pretty annoying and they use it repeatedly through the film. I guess they paid for it, they're going to get their money out of it, no matter how inappropriate it is. You can do better by way of Yeti or Bigfoot type of films. Still, it's a laugh, isn't it.

Men & Chicken 2015 Written and directed by Anders Thomas Jensen. A Danish film about family, told in the oddest way.

Gabriel and Elias are brothers, when their father dies they are given a tape and the father explains he's not their real dad. They find that real dad lives on an island so they go to visit him. They get smacked around by their three violent brothers. The island brothers live in an abandoned building with their animals.  Those three turn out to be even more off the scale from normal than Gabriel and Elias are. All the brothers have some level of physical deformation, most notably a harelip, and their mental abilities are subpar, except for Gabriel, he's noticeably smarter than the others and he's had some surgery to fix his lip. Gabriel is also much less violent than the others.

Gabriel pushes to meet the dad until he finds the man's mummified corpse in bed upstairs. Gabriel digs out the truth and it's a sad story. Pop was a sterile geneticist who impregnated their mothers with a goo made from animal DNA and his own stem cells. Sadly, he wasn't so good at it and there were lots of deaths in the process. The mothers all died because of the fatal caesarean births that their father preformed. Generally, the father was a cruel beast who should have been put down.

It's a rather dark comedy that made me laugh out loud a couple times, both were scenes of slapstick violence between the brothers. It paints an interesting picture of Danish mental health. It's not a film for everyone. Glad to have seen it but wouldn't necessarily need to see it again.

The Freakmaker 1974

The Freakmaker 1974 Written by Edward Mann and Robert D Weinbach, directed by Jack Cardiff. Originally released at The Mutations. Heavily influenced by Tod Browning's Freaks.

Donald Pleasence is a scientist who wants to merge humans with plants to create superior beings. Donald has Tom Baker, and some little people, kidnap subjects for his experiments. Tom is a heavily deformed man who co-owns a circus freak sideshow with Michael Dunn. Turns out Donald's not so good at his job and the failures that live are turned over to Tom to put on display. Donald hopes to help Tom look more normal with his science and Tom is getting impatient for something to happen. Tom's a horrible man who treats his employees poorly. He really hates them and they aren't too friendly with them either.

Things fall apart for our characters as the movie progresses and the tension builds between Tom and Donald and the sideshow people. It's a bleak tale with an appropriate ending. It's a bit pokey and tends to wander off the story with odd visual scenes. You can try it out on YouTube, the link is in the title above. It's a creepy thing with some gore and violence. It's not outstanding but it is unusual. Some of the make up is rather ludicrous, that's the movie's weakest point but it still manages to deliver an odd story that kept me interested to the end. I hadn't seen the movie since I'd first seen it in 1994 so I had forgotten what it was all about. I'd watch it again, hopefully sooner than 27 years.

Science Fiction Sunday 617

Toomorrow 1970 Written and directed by Val Guest. Val wrote and directed a lot of TV and feature films, his next film after this was the fan favorite When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth.Producer Harry Saltzman had a three picture deal with Don Kirshner and they wound up loathing each other during the production. The write up in the Wikipedia details the problems and why the film was shelved for 40 years. I read online that there was a poor quality DVD out but I watched a copy off of YouTube. The DVD came out after Kirshner died in 2011.

It's a science fiction musical with Olivia Newton-John, she's in a band with the other three guys in the pictures above. According to the IMDb Trivia page Olivia was so "disenchanted with filmmaking that it took a lot of coaxing to get her to agree to star in Grease (1978)." Val didn't have that good a time either, he never got paid, even after he sued the production company. In a way it's not surprising, the film biz is cut throat and there are a lot of scumbags out there.

Benny Thomas, Vic Cooper and Karl Chambers play the guys in the band Toomorrow. Vic has invented a new sort of music synthesizer. Roy Dotrice plays an alien who's been studying the Earth people for 3000 years and today his boss tells him that they've discovered at there's magical healing power in Toomorrow's music. It's all about Vic's invention, the Tonalizer, the aliens want it and the band, it's Roy's job to figure out how to make that work.

The band plays several times in the film and I can't say I much liked the pop music, not because it's awful, it's just bland melody. There's plenty of running about as the band members try to get through their day at college. Roy pops up and offers a place to practice, he lives in a big old mansion and the band takes him up on the offer. Now Roy has to get them on the space ship. Some of it doesn't make a whole lot of sense but I don't suppose anyone really cared. I didn't but I still don't think it's anything other than about average. Nothing notable about it really. I got a laugh or two and I might watch it again someday.

Mutant Swinger From Mars 20o9 Written and directed by Michael Kallio. It's another one of those "lost 50s science fiction films" that people make these days. Martians have come to Earth for women. One of them impersonates a suave guy who picks up chicks 4 at a time. It's sort of like the 50s but not quite. There are way too many in jokes. It gets tedious. It was on AP and I don't think I'd watch it again anytime.

Science Fiction Sunday 616

Star Odyssey 1979 A messy Italian space opera with plenty of aliens, space ships and robots but not much by way of quality film making. Al Bradly is the director, he's really Alfonso Brescia trying to disguise that he's really Italian. He directed several movies and yet they keep hiring him. 

Earth is attacked by a superior alien force. A scientist gathers some other scientists together to build a weapon that would defeat them. It's a story told poorly in every possible way. I can't think of anything in the film that would make me think these are people with talent. Sometimes a poorly made film will elicit some laughs but here it's just awful to the point of embarrassment. There's a copy of the film you can avoid on YouTube.

Vampire Vixens From Venus 1995 Here's a movie that's even worse than the previous one. Even a bevy of fake breasts can't make this film bearable. The gals are aliens who aren't really vampires. They're shape shifters and the shape they take are those of bimbos on the pull. They seduce men to get them aroused, they they plonk a machine on their heads and suck life out of them. The remains are a pod of twisted skin and goo. The extract is sold back home.

Michelle Bauer and JJ North are two of the Venusian's, neither of them are good actors, and they're in good company with the rest of the cast. The script is poor, both in story idea and dialog. The main cop character is really annoying, at best. They've got him acting all clumsy, inefficient, unobservant, clueless and gullible, it's so poorly done, it's just awful to watch. You can check it out on YouTube, link above, but why would you want to? Neither of today's are films I need to watch again. That's a good thing.