PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 966

Visitors From The Arkana Galaxy 1981 Written by Miloš Macourek and Dušan Vukotić, directed by Dušan Vukotić. A Yugoslav-Czechoslovak comedic SF production.

That's Andra, Robert and Bibi, Andra is an alien, Robert is a hotel clerk and budding SF writer, Bibi is his girlfriend. Robert neglects Bibi to work on his book. From what we can see he's a poor writer and Bibi's frustrated with him. Unbeknownst to Robert he has the power to create stuff with his mind. The act of writing his book brings the aliens  to life and they come to visit him. Things get worse when Andra and her two children turn up.

 

The alien visit causes havoc in Robert's life, especially when the local citizens learn about them. Things get better when Robert mans up a bit. Weird things happen through out the movie. There's even a monster that kills people. There's some special effects that were about average for the time and place.

I enjoyed it and would watch it again sometime. Not sure I would buy the Blu-ray.

Babylon 5: The Road Home 2023 Screenplay by J Michael Straczynski and directed by Matt Peters. An animated film set in the Babylon 5 universe.

John Sheridan has become the President of the Interstellar Alliance and has moved to Minbar. The opening of a new power station that uses tachyons sends him on a journey through time and space. He visits with various people in his life and some in alternate universes. Some of them help him figure out what's going on and how to get back to his time and place.

I would have preferred more of a story. I thought it was a bit like an intro for people who hadn't seen the series before, it could be used as the pilot for an animated series. I wasn't that keen on the character design but I got used to it. I'd like to see new B5 material.

The Blu-ray has a commentary with J Michael and Bruce Boxleitner and a featurette. I hope to get to those soon.

Friday Night Movies 955

Psycho Girls 1986 Written by Michael Bockner and Jerry Ciccoritti, directed by Jerry Ciccoritti. We watched the Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray. It's the first film for Jerry, a Canadian director who mostly worked in TV for the rest of his career.

Nothing to good to say about Pyscho Girls, it's mix of boredom and unpleasant torture crap, I didn't care for at all.

Kamikaze 1986 Written by Didier Grousset and Luc Besson, directed by Didier Grousset.

A horrible scientist invents a device that can send a ray into his TV and kill the person in front of the TV camera. It only works when the person is live on TV. The police are on his trail and other science guys have invented a device that can fire back at him. The horrible guy kills several TV Presenters and the couple he lives with, they were his relatives and he didn't like them. He's just an unpleasant man who needs to be wiped out.

It was better than the previous movie but still not something I would rewatch too often.

Eat and Run 1989

Eat and Run 1989 Written and directed by Christopher Hart. I saw this on VHS when it came out in the late 80s. We used to live a block from a great video store and I was in there all the time for dollar a day rentals. It's another I had forgotten about, I found it on YouTube and watched it.

An alien visits the Earth and develops a taste for Italians. Ron Silver is a cop who's looking for the missing Italians. Ron finds out it's an alien and sets a trap. It works, the alien is captured but the court system lets him go for being a minor. Despite that the alien steals Ron's girlfriend. Ron takes a beating through the film. Sadly this comedy is lacking good jokes. Disappointing. Not one I would watch again.

Friday Night Movies 945

Crime Zone 1988 Written by Daryl Haney and directed by Luis Llosa. An American Peruvian production, much of the movie was shot in Lima Peru with local cast and crew. Roger Corman is the producer and and it's a Concorde production.

Daryl has over 30 credits on the IMDb but I can't say I've seen many of his films other than Xtro 3: Watch The Skies, it's not overly good. Luis is a Peruvian who has made some films in America. I know I've seen the 1993 Fire On The Amazon, a terrible film that's more known for having Sandra Bullock's only sex scene. Luis would also direct Anaconda in 1997, that's got a fair budget and a fairly decent cast but there's still nothing too special about it.

Peter Nelson is Bone, a guy who starts the movie being thrown off the police force. He lives in the squalor of the lowest cast of society. Sherilyn Fenn is Helen, a prostitute who works in the local official brothel. The dregs of society aren't allowed to co-habit for some reason. It's all pretty dumb.

David Carradine plays Jason, he hires Bone and Helen to rob a place with official records. Despite wearing a mask they are discovered and go on the run. Jason gets them to do another job and they immediately become killers, blasting anyone in their way. The script is pretty poor. There's plenty of action and running about but listening to the actors just made me sad.

The movie's well below average, it scores a 4.5 on the IMDb and I gave it a 4. The 4 score has 20.2% of the votes and the 5 has 20% of the votes. A lot of the voters, 12.4%, gave the movie a 10. It was suggested that Sherilyn Fenn' sex scene was the reason. You can see if you like it on YouTube.

Future Kick 1991 Written by Catherine Cyran and Damian Klaus, directed by Damian Klaus. This is another Roger Corman produced Concorde production. This is also Damian Klaus's only film. The film only 80 mins long and 15-20% of the film uses footage from Crime Zone. Disappointing, but oh so typically Roger.

Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a cyborg in this SF picture. Meg Foster's husband was murdered and the police can't get to the cast for days. She hires Don to help her find her husband's killer. They run about, get in fights and occasionally shoot someone.

It turns out that an evil corporation is harvesting organs from the poor and down trodden. There's more fighting and the movie ends with most of the baddies dead. Yay!

It seems to have more strippers than the last movie but that's still not enough to get my vote up over a four. That's the same as the movie's average on the IMDb. If the two films weren't packed on the same DVD we might not have noticed all the copied footage. If they would have worked a little harder it could get a better score. You can see a copy on Rarelust if you want to try it.

Friday Night Movies 943

Alien From The Abyss 1989 Written by Tito Carpi and directed by Antonio Margheriti. This film was not released in the US until the new Severin Blu-ray. We watched that and it looked pretty good.

A couple of activists sneak onto an island where a geothermal power company is dumping radioactive waste into a volcano. They get a bit of footage on a VHS tape before getting spotted. The guy hides the tape and runs off one way and the gal runs off another. He gets caught and she meets up with a guy who lives on the island collecting snake venom. 

It slows down for a while and picks up in the last act when the monster starts attacking the plant. It's not an inspiring monster but there's carnage for a while, then the movie is over. It's pretty average and I can't for the life of me figure out why it never got released here until now. It got released other places, mostly it seems on VHS. It's just not as bad as I might joke it is, certainly Anthony has directed worse but it's not inspiring me to buy a copy. I see you can download a copy over at Rarelust where it's under the title Alien From The Deep. Not sure I'd bother, I've got so many movies that need watching for the first time.

Mayhem 2017 Written by Matias Caruso and directed by Joe Lynch. I've only seen a couple of Joe's films, Chillerama, Knights Of Badassdom and the 2019 Creepshow TV series. Joe mostly works in the horror genre.

A lawyer explains the current virus that's attacking the world pop. It takes the victim on an 8 hour trip with hallucinations, violent rage and naughty impulses. A recent court case had a man infected with the virus kill a man in a rage, he walked free because he wasn't in control, the virus was.

The day his co-worker throws him under the bus is the day the virus puts the giant law firm into quarantine. The lawyer is framed, blamed, fired and marched out of the building just a bit too late, the quarantine cops are blocking the doors. It's a quick acting virus, the firm is a mean spirited place to start with, the staff has a good reason for fighting. They aren't very good at physical fighting, they're used to fighting with words.

Soon as the virus gets up to speed there's plenty of mayhem and bloodshed. The lawyer and a client fight their way up the 8th floor in order to get a board member to cancel the client's foreclosure and see about getting the lawyer his job back. Many fall along the way, eventually the tower is conquered and the villain slain.

It was fairly fun but I'm not sure I will buy it. I'll put it on my Wish List for now.

Friday Night Movies 937

King Kong Lives 1986 Screenplay by Ronald Shusett and Steven Pressfield, directed by John Gillermin. It was the last theatrical film for Gillermin, he'd direct a TV movie in 1988. Gillermin directed his first film in 1949, he continued to make a mixed lot of pictures through 1974. He directed The Towering Inferno that year, he followed with King Kong in 1976 and Death On The Nile in 1978. I think that was his peak period, despite King Kong being a box office disappointment. His 80s films were a bit lackluster, Crossover, Sheena and King Kong Lives.

After shooting King Kong in the 1975 movie it turned out he wasn't totally dead yet, some university had taken the body and kept him in a comma for the last ten years. Linda Hamilton plans to replace his damaged heart with an artificial heart. In Borneo Brian Kerwin comes across a giant ape lady. He captures her and brings her to Georgia so she can supply blood for the operation.

That goes well and Kong wakes up. He goes a bit nutty when he can smell a female in the area. He breaks out and frees his new lady friend. They run off into the wilds of Georgia with the military after them bent on murder. Linda and Brian team up together to try to save the giant apes. It doesn't go well for King Kong but Lady Kong survives and bears him a son. Kong get a bit of a look at his son just before he finally dies. Brian arranges a sanctuary for the giant apes in Borneo.

It's a below average film and a lot of critics panned it. At the box office it was a flop in the US and Canada, worldwide it took in $48 million on a $18 million budget, $44 million in ticket sales came from Russia where the film was a big hit. Marketing costs put the film in the red and helped bankrupt the De Laurentiis' Company.

I enjoyed seeing the new Blu-ray but it's still a below average film. There was some laughs, especially when Kong chomped down on a hillbilly. There's plenty of special effects but not all successful. I doubt I'd watch it again. I don't have a copy at home and I'm lacking an interest to buy a copy. I don't even have a copy of the 1975 King Kong.

Darker Than Night 1975 Written and directed by Carlos Enrique Taboada. It's a Mexican film by the same director that directed Poison For The Fairies. It's part of Vinegar Syndrome's 3 film set of Taboada films.

A young woman called Ofelia inherits her aunt's house and fortune. Ofelia is the blond gal and she's supposed to take care of her aunt's cat as part of the deal. Ofelia brings her three roommates along.

One of the gals is a cat hater and that eventually leads to a dead cat. Soon after weird things start happening. The dead aunt starts appearing, that's followed by appearances of a dead cat. One gal is killed and that's followed by a couple of other deaths. At no time do we see the police or any other business that might be associated with dead bodies.

There's not much scary going on and on the whole it's rather pokey. If I was kinder I'd say it was atmospheric. There's a lot of wasted time doing nothing before anything interesting happens. After seeing two film by Carlos I'm not thinking I need to buy this box set. There's a 2014 remake that I have not seen. It looks more promising than the original.

Friday Night Movies 916

The King's Man 2021 Based on the comic series The Secret Service by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, story by Matthew Vaughn, screenplay by Matthew Vaughn and Karl Gajdusek, directed by Matthew Vaughn. We watched the 4K version and it looked nice.

The movie is a prequel to the first two films. The story starts in 1902 with a visit to a concentration camp in South Africa by the Duke of Oxford. The Duke is shot in the leg during an attack by a Boer sniper. The Duke's wife Emily is killed and the Duke's son Conrad saw his mother die. The story jumps ahead 12 years and the Duke has created a private spy network using the servants of the powerful.

Conrad wants to go to war but the Duke tries to stop him. He's not successful and Conrad is mistakenly killed by a soldier in the British Army. There's a mysterious Scottish man who runs a secret organization from the plateau on a mountain in some remote location. He's a guy who needs killing.

There's a fair bit of action but the story is dark and bleak, I didn't care for it as much as the previous two films. I'll watch those again someday and give the third a miss. I did like the cast in it. Good choices. It's a bit ponderous, a nice trim would not be a miss, a good Kingsman movie might be salvaged out of there.

Voyage Of The Rock Aliens 1984 Written by Edward Gold and James Guidotti, directed by James Fargo and Bob Giraldi. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray.

It's a SF musical comedy with Pia Zadora playing Dee Dee. Some aliens make a stop at planet Earth and get involved with Dee Dee and the local musical scene. Dee Dee's boyfriend Frankie has a gang and a band, they are the same guys. Frankie doesn't want Dee Dee to sing with him, he's mostly a dick. The aliens prove to be a match for Frankie in a battle of the bands.

Pia does a lot of songs, some of which were from her newest album. A music video duet with Pia and Jermaine Jackson was shot in Italy. It wasn't shot for the film but the producer's worked it into the opening. It's supposed to take place on a distant planet the alien's are visiting. Knowing that explains why Pia seems to be on two planets.

There's way too many songs and the story is really goofy. James Guidotti's original screenplay was a spoof of B-movies. The Wikipedia says:

"It's a little like sitting home and watching TV late on a Saturday night, all the while switching channels from 5 to 9 to 11 and to 13," Guidotti explained. "On channel 5 they're airing an old Beach Party movie; on 9 one about alien invaders; on 11 a film about a mad, homicidal maniac on the loose; and on 13 a rock 'n roll program." When Guidotti's script was spotted by executives at the production company Inter Planetary Curb, Vice President of Development Edward Gold and consultant Charles Hairston polished the script, turned it into a musical, and the film went into production under the title Attack of the Rock 'n' Roll Aliens.

I might have enjoyed that movie more than what we watched. There's plenty of jokes but many fall flat. I still enjoyed watching it, especially after the downer we just watched, but I didn't feel I needed to invest in a copy. You can test drive it on YouTube. You might like it.

Alien Space Avenger 1989

Alien Space Avenger 1989 Screenplay by Richard W Haines and Lynwood Shiva Sawyer with help from Leslie Delano, Brad Dunker and Kay Gelfman, directed by Richard W Haines. Five writers couldn't come up with a good script. How sad is that?

The main plot has 4 aliens come to Earth in the 1930s. Their ship crashes and they need some uranium to re-power their spaceship. The aliens take over human bodies and start killing people to get what they want. During a shoot out in a bar one of the bodies is shot. The aliens run away and hide in their ship for 50 years. Exiting in 1989 they encounter life in New York City. The aliens gather weapons and plan a raid on a power plant for the uranium.

There's a sub plot about a comic book writer and his girlfriend. Sadly he's the main character in the movie. He's the sort of idiot who would leave his girlfriend in the middle of sex to touch up his comic art. In the best bit of the movie she leaves him but some bad writing brings them back together.

Art boy sees the aliens in a bar in their 30s clothes and imagines that they're aliens who have come from the 1930s to steal uranium. He draws the comic and gets it on the drug store comic racks in a few days. Obviously Richard and his gang of scribes don't know anything about comic book production and distribution.

The aliens see the comic book and decide to go after the artist. There's plenty of chasing about, fist fights and gun shooting. Another alien comes to Earth and takes over the artist's girlfriend, turning her into a well trained fighter. She gets a bunch of guns and grenades and goes after the aliens. She beats their asses.

It's the kind of movie you'd expect from Troma but just not as good. Occasionally there's a bit of a laugh but more often I was laughing at their shoddy work not some good gags. Certainly something I wouldn't have needed to see, I guess that makes me glad I found it on the internet.

Friday Night Movies 910

The Iceman Cometh 1989 Written by Johnny Mak and Stephen Shiu, directed by Clarence Fok with Yuen Biao directing the action. 

Yuen Biao is a Ming Guard called Fong Sau-chingin 16th century China and Yuen Wah is a nasty villain called Feng Sen who's known to rape and murder young women. After Feng Sen murders the Princess and steals the Black Jade Buddha the Emperor is mad that Fong did not stop Feng Sen. The Emperor orders Fong executed but relents when Fong begs the Emperor for his life. Fong is given 20 days to catch the crook or he's dead and so are his relatives. 

The Black Jade Buddha is a magical item that transports Feng Sen and Fong into the future. They wind up in 1980s Kowloon. Feng Sen disappears from the movie for a while. We follow Fong as he's befriended by a prostitute called Polly, played by Maggie Chung. Polly draws him into her world but Fong's too naive at first to figure out what's going on. They spend a lot of the 114 min movie working on their relationship. It's way too much and the movie nearly drags to a stop about two thirds of the way through. It was easily one of the best sleeping aids I've encountered.

The action is pretty good when it's happening but there's a lot of deadly wait time between bouts. Feng Sen is a more interesting villain than Fong is a hero but Fong eventually defeats the baddie and returns to his time. There's a dumb "happy" ending.

I'd seen this back in 1996 but failed to comment on my watched movie list. I doubt I'd buy the new Blu-ray, I doubt I'd watch it again.

Mutant Hunt 1987 Written and directed by Tim Kincaid. Tim made a few low-budget SF and horror films in his career but mostly he's made gay porn films.

I saw this back in 2012 and the only comment on my Watched Movie List is "Crappy." I don't know where I watched the movie or what format it was on, today we watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray. While it looks nice it's still a crappy movie. Another one I won't be buying for my collection. You can watch a poor pan and scan version on YouTube but why would you.

Kin-dza-dza! 1986

Kin-dza-dza! 1986 Written by Georgiy Daneliya and Revas Gabriadze, directed by Georgiy Daneliya. A Russian SF comedy that some one pointed out to me on YouTube. MOSFILMS has over 100 Russian films with subtitles.

A man called Vladimir gets sent out for some groceries and winds up on another planet. All he did was talk to a stranger called Gedevan, they helped an alien with no socks and a transportation device. Vlad doesn't believe the man's nattering and he triggers the device. Quick like they wind up on a desert planet with strange people and weird customs. They meet some aliens, learn some of those weird customs, become famous and wind up back on Earth some time later.

The movie runs 135 mins and there's not always much going on. People tend to stare off into the distance a lot. It's kind of goofy and minimalist. I thought it was fun at times, at times it dragged. You can try it out on YouTube. I don't think I would need to buy the disc. I might not watch it again.