PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Cannibal Mercenary 1983

Cannibal Mercenary 1983 Written by George Lam and directed by Hong Lu Wang. A Thai picture.

A cop called Wilson takes a team into the Vietnam jungle to find a war criminal who heads a tribe of cannibals. They don't have a very good trip, just about everyone dies. There's plenty of action, with jungle fighting, some torture and a bit of cannibalism.

I didn't think it was more than average, it's like an Italian cannibal film but not as well made.

I found a copy on YouTube but it's gone already. I found another that has a fun trailer for Cobra Thunderbolt, that looks like it might be better than what I just watched. At least there was a jet pack, there's no jet pack in Cannibal Mercenary. There's also a trailer for a Thai film called Mercenary, it looks like it's a bit of an Apocalypse Now rip off.

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Left For Dead 2007 Written by Chad Leslie and directed by Albert Pyun. Am American Argentine production that was filmed in Argentina in 12 days. Albert won the Best Director award at the 2007 Costa del Sol Fantasy Film Festival.

A horror western with a demon gunfighter. Victoria Maurette plays Clementine, she's looking for a man called Sentenza, he deserted her and their baby. She meets a gang of whores who murdered all the people in a town. The head of the whores is looking for Sentenza also, he left her daughter pregnant and ran off.

They find Sentenza in the ghost town of Amnesty which is home to the dead soul of slain preacher Mobius Lockhardt. He made a pack with the devil to remain among the living. He can't leave the town and he can't die.

The whores get picked off one by one. There's a fair bit of action but the jittercam, jump cuts and freeze frames became annoying right quick. The characters were mostly entertaining, the lesser characters disappeared quickly, it's only an 84 min movie, no time to waste.

It's got a low score, a 3.2, on the IMDb but I thought it was more like a 5. That score would improve if there wasn't all the camera and editing trickery. That IMDb score is buoyed up by 54.5% of the votes being a 9 or a 10. I'm not sure who's voting, don't care. Don't think I'll bother with the DVD, maybe if I find it on clearance sometime.

Accion Mutante 1992 Written by Jorge Guerricaechevarría and Álex de la Iglesia, directed by Álex de la Iglesia. It's Álex's first film. A Spanish French production.

In a post-apocalyptic future the world is ruled by the rich and beautiful. A group of disable people, calling themselves mutants, plan to take down the rulers. Sadly, the mutants are mentally disabled and cannot formulate a plan that they can follow through. The kidnapping the movie opens with fails because they suffocate the victim.

The next kidnapping victim manages to survive in a complicated plot that I wouldn't even attempt to cover. It's a chaotic film with weird stuff going on all the time. The mutant group falls apart from the inside and nearly everyone dies.

I'd seen this 22 years ago but couldn't remember a thing about it. It's noisy, colorful, violent, funny and worth a look for some. Not everyone is going to like this one. We watched the new Severin Blu-ray release and it looks nice enough. The movie was pretty low budget, nice that the film elements survived. Doubt I'm going to add this to my collection.

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The Grave 1996 Story by Peter Glatzer, screenplay by Jonas Pate and Josh Pate, directed by Jonas Pate.

A couple of bottom feeder criminals in prison hear a story about a grave with a treasure buried in it. They escape and one of them gets shot stealing clothes from a hillbilly's clothes line. The pair hitch a ride and the guy gives them his truck so he can report it stolen for the insurance. It was a poor truck I would hardly think he'd get anything for it.

The guys seek medical help from a guy they know who is a mortician. He can't help much at all, the wounded guy dies but not before giving up the story about the grave. The mortician and his two even stupider friends decide to dig up the loot themselves. The other escaped convict shows up only to be killed by the mortician's pal. They don't find any treasure in the grave except a ring the dead guy was wearing. They  bury the convict in the grave.

Things get more complicated when a prison guard who knows about the grave murders one of the mortician's pals. Equally disruptive is the second escaped convict's ex-girlfriend. Most everyone dies.

I enjoyed it but wouldn't seek out a copy for me. Doubtful I would get around to it again. There are better stupid criminal movies out there.

Skeleton Man 2004 Written by Frederick Bailey and directed by Johnny Martin. Made for TV horror film with Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien. It aired on the Sci Fi Channel.

An archaeologist digs up an Indian burial ground. He takes the skull of a native called the movie calls Skeleton Man. SM pops into existence through a portal and kills the archaeologist and anyone else who enters the wooded area his grave was found in. Some soldiers dies while on maneuvers and the military sends in Micheal, Casper and a few other folks for Skeleton Man to kill. Most everyone dies before Michael blows up a chemical plant.

The explosion might have killed the Skeleton Man but it seems unlikely as he appears again in the end credits. I'm unsure if that's what they meant, it's not clear. Nothing much is clear in the movie, it's just an excuse to kill people off. It's a slasher film with skeleton on a horse. It would have been better if the horse was doing all the killing. A good story would also have helped. Not one I'm going to need to see again.

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L A Wars 1994 Screenplay by Addison Randall and Tony Kandah, directed by Tony Kandah and Martin Morris.

There's a drug war going on in Los Angeles. Heading up some stereotypical Italian Mafia types are Carlo Giovani and his insane henchman Vinnie, they're up against some aggressive Latinos under the control of Raul Guzman. Raul wants the business and he's ready to kill everyone in his way. He'll get a fight from Carlo, that's for sure.

The police can't seem to do anything to get ahead of the gangs and Captain Roark is desperate. Desperate enough to hire ex-cop loose cannon Jake Quinn to infiltrate one of the gangs. Jake lucks out, he's in the right place at the right time to save Carlo's daughter Carla from being kidnapped by Guzman's thugs.

Once Jake's in the house he talks Carlo into hiring him to be Carla's bodyguard. Vinnie isn't too happy but Jake kicks his soldier's to the ground and Carlo hires him. Vinnie has designs on Carla but she's not digging him at all. She's got her sights on Jake and soon enough they're in bed together.

Things deteriorate and there's a good bit of battling between the gangs. Bodies litter the streets and the violence escalates. Eventually things get sorted out by Jake.

It's a ridiculous story with some action and lots of yelling. Everyone yells, all the time. It's barely average and there's nothing new here. You can see a copy on YouTube in the link above.

Bodies Bodies Bodies 2022 Story by Kristen Roupenian, screenplay by Sarah DeLappe and directed by Halina Rejin.

A group of rich 20 somethings gather in a nice big house for a vacation in a remote location that due a hurricane. There's plenty drinking and drug taking. Everyone, except for one gal, gets fucked up a good bit before the storm knocks out the power. It gets all Lord Of The Flies in the house after the biggest asshole is found with his throat cut.

Sadly I found most of the partiers so horrible that I couldn't stand being around them. They are so awful that they can't even stand being around each other. They turn on each other fairly quickly. Now one of them is a killer and between them they haven't got enough little grey cells to solve the crime, even if they were sober. When they do stumble onto a particle of rational thought it's almost too late. The reality in Mike Judd's Idiocracy doesn't seem so farfetched.

It's supposed to be a black comedy about some shallow Gen-Xes who can't survive without their social media. I was hoping for more humor, many of the good gags are in the last few minutes. Gleiberman described the film as "And Then There Were None staged by John Cassavetes for the age of Instagram."^[41]  That's a better joke than most in the movie. I thought it was more Real Housewives in the Big Brother house and that would be no joke. Those housewives are some nasty nasty people, barely human, they can turn on each in a heartbeat. I don't see me needing to watch it again.

Bullet In The Head 1990

Bullet In The Head 1990 Written by John Woo, Patrick Leung and Janet Chun, directed by John Woo. Someone gave me a copy of the longest version of the movie. I hadn't seen it in a while so I watched it.

Ben, Paul and Frank live in Hong Kong are long time friends who run in a gang. They fight with other gangs, one fight over some money winds up in murder, they run away to Saigon, smuggling some drugs to finance the trip. It's 1967 and there's a war on. It makes it easy to smuggle but hard to survive. On arrival a suicide bomber winds up blowing up their contraband.

The trio narrowly escape being executed for the bombing. They meet up with an assassin called Luke. They join up to rescue a singer from the hands of Luke's boss. A fire fight breaks out and Paul steals a chest full of gold when they escape. That gold is the cause of all their problems, besides the big one of going to Vietnam while there's a war on.

The group is waiting by the river for a boat to pick them up. The gangsters and the Vietnam army attack and they barely get away. Sally is killed and left in the river. Paul manages to save the gold but they're caught by the Vietcong. They are tortured and Frank is made to shoot other prisoners. Ben shoots a couple of prisoners and turns the weapons on the Vietcong.

Luke arrives about then with some American helicopter gun ships. They blast the Vietcong. Paul and Frank had escaped into a field, Paul shoots Frank in the head to keep him quiet, and escapes with the gold. Ben follows Paul and watched while he guns down some locals for a boat. He shoots Ben too. Some monks find Ben and patch him up so he can return to Saigon.

Ben finds Luke who tells him Frank is still alive. Frank lives on the streets, he's taking heroin to dull the pain from the bullet that's still in his head. Ben kills him and takes his skull to visit Paul. He's a successful businessman and he doesn't care. He tells Ben to leave. Later Ben and Paul battle to the death in cars.

It's got a good script and a great cast with Tony Leung, Jacky Cheung, Waise Lee and Simon Yam in the lead roles. The scenes in Saigon and the jungle are pretty realistic. It's a great reminder to stay out of a war zone. I've seen this several times already and was glad to get a longer version of the film.

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Espionage In Tangier 1965 Story by Herbert Curiel, screenplay by R Belgrozo, directed by Gregg C Tallas. A Spanish Italian production.

 

A mad scientist has invented a disintegrator pistol. Agent S 077 is assigned to the case. We follow him around as he annoys everyone. There's some baddies and some pretty ladies. The dialog makes little sense at times and the fights are often poor. It's a bit of a loser. I wouldn't need to see it again.

Drive 1997 Written by Scott Phillips and directed by Steve Wang. We watched the MVD Director's Cut Blu-ray of the movie, it's got restored scenes and plenty of new extras. When I saw Drive back in 1999 I thought it was a highly entertaining action driven chase film. I watched it several times with other people but hadn't seen it for several years.

Mark Dacascos is an augmented special agent from Hong Kong. He's got a special device in his chest that makes him stronger and quicker than your average martial arts expert. He has decided to leave Hong Kong, he's going to sell the device to a company in Los Angeles for $5,000,000. James Shigeta plays the boss of the company that makes the device, he wants to keep the device from getting into other people's hands.

The baddies catch up to Mark in San Francisco, he's crossed the ocean by stowing away on a ship. He manages to escape and after kidnapping Kadeem Hardison in a bar they race across California. John Pyper-Ferguson and his toady Tracey Walter lead the gang that's chasing them. The pair get a room in a motel that Brittany Murphy is managing for her parents. She helps the guys out and the baddies blow up her motel. It was a darn good explosion. There was nothing left of the motel.

It's got a great script with a great sense of humor. The action, martial arts and stunt work are the equal of any top notch Hong Kong action film. Mark kicks the crap out of a horde of baddies in some entertaining fights. There's some nice scenery as the guys travel from San Francisco to Los Angeles. There's a big ending fight in a NASA themed restaurant. It doesn't survive the fight too well, neither do the baddies. Mark and Kadeem head for LA without anyone on their trail.

Why this movie isn't more popular beats me. It doesn't seem to make any of those best martial arts movie lists I see once in a while. It scores a 6.6 on the IMDb, I gave it a 7, it's easily that good or better.

I liked the director's cut so much I ordered one as soon as I got home. I would have ordered it on my tablet during the movie but I couldn't remember my Amazon password. I'm curious about the commentary and extras, the earlier DVD I have has no special features. 

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Grave Secrets 1989 Story by Jeffrey Polman, screenplay by Jeffrey Polman and Lenore Wright, directed by Donald P Borchers.

Paul Le Mat is a professor of the paranormal. Renee Soutendijk is a woman with a haunted B&B in the country. She hires Paul to investigate her haunting. After a rough start he does see some manifestations. It gets more and more serious and people are attacked by the evil headless ghost. Lee Ving plays a local lout who has his eyes on Renee but she's not interested in him. Trying to get close to her is going to get him killed. David Warner is another paranormal investigator, Paul asks him to come visit once he knows there's something going on. David gets possessed by the ghost and the evil rapey daddy story comes to light. Eventually they beat the ghost and the movie ends.

I didn't think much of it. I didn't buy Paul as a professor and his wardrobe left a lot to be desired. I can't say I've ever been a fan of Mat's work. There's a poor script with a poor ending and not much by way of humor. There's nothing too exciting on the screen until nearly the end of the film. At times the camera pans off the murderin' and we miss some violence that was just about to happen. That's sad, even for 1989, horror fans don't care much for that sort of nonsense. I can see why it's been voted a 4.5 on the IMDb. Seventy five percent of the votes are a 5 or below. I wouldn't need to see it again. If you want to take a chance you can see a poor copy on YouTube. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray with a nice picture and good sound. I don't plan to buy one now that I've seen it.

Tiger Claws 1991 Written by J Stephen Maunder and directed by Kelly Makin. An American film that is set in New York City but made in Toronto. Canadian director Kelly Makin has a connection to The Kids In The Hall, he directed some episodes of the TV series and their movie Brain Candy. Sadly he's not the best action director. His comedy background seems apparent in some scenes in Tiger Claws. Is he trying to poke fun at the genre? Who knows.

Tiger Claws is part of a new set from Vinegar Syndrome that has all 3 of the films in the series on 2 Blu-rays. You can see a 1080p copy on YouTube, a well as Tiger Claws 2 and Tiger Claws 3.

There's a guy killing martial artists with his special Tiger Claw kung fu. Cynthia Rothrock and Jalal Merhi are mismatched headstrong cops who have to work together to catch the killer. Bolo Yeung plays the baddie. Cynthia and Jalal dig into the secret world of Tiger Claw kung fu. There's plenty of martial arts going on but some of it was sure lackluster. Kung fu movies made in the west often lack in the fighting department. There's plenty of cop talk and some personal drama to get past.

When it was all done I thought it was about average, I gave it a 5 on the IMDb, a lot more people gave it a 6 than a 5. I might have given it a 6 but it was the long winded training sequences that brought the score down for me.

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Scanner Cop 1994 Story by Pierre David, screenplay by George Saunders, directed by Pierre David.

Daniel Quinn plays a grown up scanner who works for the LA PD. Richard Grove plays his father, the guy is a Commander in the same precinct. Daniel uses a drug called Ephemerol to suppress his scanner abilities. If he stops taking the drug he gets his powers back but they will rather quickly drive him insane. Of course a case comes up that needs his powers and he goes off his medication.

Richard Lynch plays the villain, Hilary Shepard plays his murderous hench woman. Lynch is using a drug and his scanner powers to take control of the minds of helpless victims. Once under his command he programs them to kill cops. He's got a grudge against the police and Daniel's dad. Five years before the movie starts Daniel's dad shot him but didn't kill him. Lynch got sent to psychiatric prison but escaped about a year before the movie starts. No one has seen him until Daniel gets a look at him. Darlanne Fluegel plays the scientist.

There's plenty of chasing about and psychic dueling. There's a lot of people murdered one way or another before Daniel and Lynch battle it out to the death. Average to slightly better than average for me. We watched Vinegar Syndrome's new 4K Blu-ray. Looked great. Still, I doubt I need a copy of this one.

Scanner Cop 2 1995 Written by Mark Sevi and directed by Steve Barnett, produced by Pierre David.

Daniel Quinn is the only one from the first movie to appear in this movie, some time must have past because he's been made a detective. Patrick Kilpatrick is the villain, Khrystyne Haje is the science lady, Stephen Mendel is Daniel's partner on the LAPD where Robert Forrester plays the Captain.

Patrick has discovered a new trick for his scanner mind to do. He sucks the mental energy from another scanner and it makes him stronger. Patrick is wanting some revenge, it started when he was murdering and raping with his brother. In a flash back we see the encounter with Daniel where he forces Patrick to shoot his own brother. The scumbag was holding a poor hostage in one hand and holding a knife to her throat with the other.

Patrick has been locked up ever since. Now that the movie has started we find that Patrick has stopped taking his Ephemerol and escaped. Now he can go on that killing spree he's always wanted. Sadly for him, his mind starts to deteriorate from the lack of Ephemerol.

Patrick and Daniel have a series of mental bouts that are way too long and way to repetitive. I didn't think the movie lived up to the enjoyable level of SC. Below average for me. Nice 4K transfer on Blu-ray.

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Lupin The 3rd Crisis In Tokyo 1998 Created by and screenplay by Monkey Punch, script by Shinzo Fujita, direction by Toshiya Shinohara. Lupin is after a long lost treasure and the key to it is in some old photographic plates. His plan to rob them is interrupted by his old pal Fujiko and Inspector Zenigata. Lupin's buddies have issues, Goemon has had his sword stolen, Jigen has a toothache, and that distracts them from helping out as much as usual. The owner of the plates is a rich guy who's got a secret illegal genetics operation going on under his new Aqua theme park. There's plenty of action and yelling and running about. It's about average for Lupin but nowhere near as entertaining as The Castle Of Cagliostro.

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf 1973 Screenplay by Bob Homel, directed by Nathan Juran. It's Nathan's last film and a far cry from some of his better work like 20 Million Miles To Earth, Jack The Giant Killer and The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad.

Kerwin Mathews takes his son, played by Scott Sealey to their cabin in the woods. They get attacked by a werewolf, Kerwin gets bit, then the werewolf falls off a convenient cliff and gets impaled on a fence post. He turns back into a man and of course no one believes Scott when he says the man had been a werewolf. Kerwin takes over the role of the murderous werewolf, killing a few of the locals before it's all over for him. Typical story, average acting and production. I saw it on YouTube and doubt I'd need to see it again. Werewolf fans can find a link in the title above.

The Brain Machine 1955 Written and directed by Ken Hughes. Nice tight crime thriller about a criminal with a brain tumor. The title refers to the use of the electroencephalograph scan of a crooks brain. Maxwell Reed plays Frank, he's a crook who had been admitted to the hospital without any idea who he was or how he got there. Frank leaves before he gets treatment, he needs to sell a huge pile of cortisone and escape from the country. Frank kidnaps the doctor and is seen by one of the people at the hospital, soon there's a man hunt for them. The buyer of the drugs sends a creepy hood to find Frank, he kills Frank's wife and nearly kills Frank. They hold out in the back room of a bar as everything falls part for Frank. Good story and a good cast. Part of The British Film series from Network. I enjoyed it and would spin the DVD sometime again.

The Harry Palmer Quintet

Up until a few weeks ago I wasn't even aware that there were 5 Harry Palmer films with Michael Caine. I had seen the first three some time in the 70s when they played on TV. I'm pretty sure I have read The Ipcress File novel by Len Deighton but I don't believe I read anymore. I wish I had kept records of the books I read as a youth. I can't always remember anymore.

The Ipcress File 1965 I picked up the DVD from the UK, it's part of Network's The British Film series. WH Canaway and James Doran wrote the screenplay and Sidney J Furie is the director. There's a commentary with Sidney and the film's editor Peter Hunt. Not the greatest commentary, they forget to talk a fair bit, but occasionally there's something interesting.

Micheal Caine is Harry Palmer, a British Intelligence officer who's a somewhat reluctant spy. He's mostly working for his boss because he's got Harry in the bag for his shady past. Harry gets transferred to Nigel Green's department after one of their men is killed. The group is investigating the kidnapping of British scientists. Some of them have been returned, brainwashed of all their science info.

Sidney likes putting the camera in odd places. The shot of the dead American agent is just one nice example. The smaller picture is of a scene in a jail with another dead guy. Harry's always talking to someone, when he's not gabbing he puts his trotters to work. We get to follow him around the city of London. Plenty of nice scenery. The spying is rather low key, at times its dull work, very much the opposite of the slick James Bond films. I hadn't seen the movie since the 80s and enjoyed it all over again.

Funeral In Berlin 1966 Evan Jones wrote the screenplay and Guy Hamilton directed. Guy directed Goldfinger a couple of years before this and his next film was the 1969 war epic The Battle Of Britain.

Harry's in Berlin to arrange Colonel Stok's defection, Oscar Homolka plays the Russian officer, he's my favorite character in the series. The defection is to be arranged and carried out by a West German criminal who's been behind several escapes. 

Harry meets up with Eva Renzi, who's playing a Mossad spy, and everything gets more and more complicated. Bodies start turning up and Harry takes a long nap before Colonel Stok, making me laugh once again, fills Harry in on what really was going on. Harry goes home to see his boss. Harry's not always happy about his job. Hey, who is?

Good story, and a nice sense of humor, all made more entertaining by Oscar's Colonel Stok. I enjoyed it and would watch it again in the future.

Billion Dollar Brain 1967 John McGrath wrote the screenplay and Ken Russell directed. Ken had worked mostly in TV before this, one feature and one TV movie under his belt, it might have been too big a project for him. It's clunky and less entertaining than the first two in the series. It didn't do well enough at the Box Office to make the 4th proposed film in the series.

Parts of the movie were fun, we see a return of Colonel Stok, something I was glad to see, but some parts of the movie are kind of dumb. Karl Malden plays a crazy rich anti-communist who has a billion dollar computer that he is using to analyze data in his work to destroy communism. Harry and the Colonel put crimps in Karl's plans.

Ken Russell wasn't a good choice to tell that story. The movie is a big old mess that makes me wish Guy had done this one too. It's got plenty of images that make me laugh. I did like all the large sets, even though they were very much Bond like. I'd still watch it again but mostly because I'd be watching them as a series.

Bullet To Beijing 1995 Harry Alan Towers produced the return of Michael Caine as Harry Palmer in the first of two films shot back to back in St Petersburg Russia. Towers wrote the screenplay as Peter Wellbeck and the director was George Mihalka.

Harry's been forced to retire from MI5 and winds up traveling to St Petersburg to see about a job offer. Jason Connery and Mia Sara meet Harry at the station, save him from attacking criminals, and take him to see Michael Gambon. Michael is Alex, a powerful Russian criminal, he wants Harry to find a stolen biological weapon, he'll pay Harry a quarter of a million smackaroonies.

Harry takes the job and a train, the Bullet to Beijing, where he's been informed the bio weapon will be hidden. He finds the stuff but he and Jason gets tossed off the train in Siberia before they can do anything. They manage to find transport and eventually re-board the train. Micheal Sarrazin turns up as an ex-CIA agent.

There's plenty of other bits of action as the interested parties struggle over the bio goo. Eventually things work out Harry's way but he's stepped on a few toes to get results. It's a dangerous biz, the spy biz.

I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did, there's chases and shoot outs, dirty double dealing, plenty of nice locations, a fairly complicated story and the cast was mostly up to the material. I ordered a Hungarian DVD from Amazon, it looks fine, but you'd need an all region player to play it.

Midnight In St Petersburg 1996 Harry Alan Towers wrote the screenplay under his usual nom de plume, Peter Wellbeck, the director is Douglas Jackson.

Harry now heads a private investigation company in Moscow, Jason Connery works for him, and so does Micheal Sarrazin. Some one hires them to find a stolen container of weapons grade plutonium. Michael Gambon is one of the guys who wants it, to sell, he's not crazy. A gangster called Yuri wants it too.

Jason's girlfriend gets kidnapped by one of Michael's gang, they want to trade her for a favor from the head of the Hermitage Museum. They want some paintings to sell to a rich American. It's part of a way too complicated plan between three groups. Harry poking his nose in makes waves and things go south quickly.

Another entertaining film with a nice sense of humor. Not quite as much action as the previous one,no big deal. Kept me interested to the end. Glad to have seen the series. I'll want to watch them again sometime. This movie was also a Hungarian DVD.