PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Science Fiction Sunday 814

Beacon77 2009 Written by Debbie Moon and Brad Watson, directed by Brad Watson. A British film that's part SF and part horror. It's been released under the titles Code77, Decoder and The 7th Dimension. I can only assume that's to trick people into watching their movie again.

A college student takes her friend along to visit the professor with whom she'd had a one night stand. They find the professor lives with a couple and masses of computers. The professor and pals are hacking into the Vatican library to download a copy of the Torah. They believe that it contains all the info to predict future events. Endless chatter and biblical references leads to murder in the dullest way. It's barely SF and barely watchable. I watched it on YouTube, I wouldn't need to see it again.

Gods Of The Deep 2023 Written by Jerome Reygner-Kalfon, Sebastien Semon  and Charlie Steeds, directed by Charlie Steeds. A British movie that is heavily influenced by Lovecraft. Steeds had directed 13 previous movies, all but 2 are rated between a 3 and a 4. This movie scores a 3.2 and I gave it a 3.

A team of scientists in a submersible visit an undersea location that appears man made. They find a giant tentacled man like creature alive despite the enormous pressure. The creature seems to effect the crew and people die. Not much else going on. I watched this on Amazon Prime, free with membership, I wouldn't need to see it again.

 

Friday Night Movies 1005

Roadkill 1989 Story by Bruce McDonald, screenplay by Don McKellar, directed by Bruce McDonald. It's the first film for both guys, they'd both go onto make a lot of films and TV episodes. We watch the movie before, it was at FNM 626 back in 2017.

Valerie Buhagiar plays Ramona, she works for a rude and greasy band promoter in Toronto, she gets sent to Sudbury to collect a band and their rental truck. The band had missed their last four dates and they can't contact them. Ramona can't drive a car so she is going to take the train. On the way to the station the stoned cabby insists he take her to Sudbury, it's only 250 miles. On the road Valerie gets separated from the cabbie leaving behind her suitcase and her money. She does find the band and learns that the singer decided to go find himself. She heads off after the singer.

Ramona has a series of adventures along the way, she meets some people, including a serial killer (Don McKellar), a hot dog vendor (he turns out to be the missing singer), and a film maker (Bruce McDonald). She even learns to drive. Ramona finds the band in Thunder Bay, she gets the singer to agree to sing and makes a deal with the manager of a pub. The band has a pretty bad show, they don't kill, in fact, just the opposite.

I thought it was pretty entertaining for the second time. I've got the Blu-ray on my Wish List. Last time we watched it the other film was a Canadian effort, the second film tonight is also a Canadian effort.

End Of The Line 2007 Written and directed by Maurice Devereaux. Shot in the subway of Montreal.

One evening religious zealots go crazy and start killing everyone. The zealots mission is to send the sinners to heaven with knives. The main characters are trapped in a subway in Montreal and they have to fight off the zealots. There's a lot of running and whimpering. A lot of people get killed on both sides.

I wasn't that impressed with the film and wouldn't need to watch it again.

Friday Night Movies 990

Charlie's Angels 2019 Story by Evan Spiliotopoulos and David Auburn, screenplay and direction by Elizabeth Banks.

A new re-imagining of the old TV series. The Townsend agency is in Europe and Patrick Stewart is the head of the branch. He's got a whole gang of Angels with Kristen Stewart and Ella Balinska as a couple of his top agents. At the end of the mission that opens the movie Patrick retires from the company. He's not happy about it but he takes the watch and leaves.

Naomi Scott is a whistle blower who wants some help from the Angels. She's invented a magical power device that can be set to kill people. She wants time to fix it but the head of her department at Brok says it's got to launch on schedule.She wimps out by not going over his head to Mr Brok.

An assassin tries to kill Naomi at her meeting with the Angels in Hamburg, the Angels fight back but he manages to force the Angels into the river. The assassin leaves them to drown and runs away.  Elizabeth Banks takes over the team after Djimon Hounsou is killed in the fire fight.

There's a whole bunch of sneaking about as the team breaks into Brok's HQ. The action scenes are fairly good, there's plenty of shooting and running about. There's a lot of double dealing and traitorous behavior. Eventually things get worked out.

I enjoyed the movie but didn't think it was quite as good as the Drew Barrymore films from the early 2000's. I don't seen anyone making any sequels so far. I ordered the Blu-ray and hope to watch it again someday.

Scream Queen 2002 Written and directed by Brad Sykes. The film was partially shot in 1998 but not finished until 2002. We watched the 2023 Blu-ray from Video Vengeance.

Linnea Quigley plays a scream queen, her car blows up while she's working on her latest movie. The director and the crew try to figure out what to do about finishing the film. Someone starts killing the crew.

It's a pretty predictable slasher film with super low production values, a poor script and a gang of actors that can't act, or, in some cases, barely even speak. It's shot on video and looks pretty terrible. It's such a poor movie I wouldn't bother picking up a copy. It's really something for the Linnea fans out there.

Wicked Lake 2008

Wicked Lake 2008 Screenplay by Adam Rockoff and Chris Sivertson, directed by Zach Passero.

Four murdering witches vacation in the woods, two gangs of messed up men attack them at their peril.

The story is weak, the acting barely average, nothing else much to offer. I gave it a 3 and that's it's current average on the IMDb. I wouldn't watch it again.

Friday Night Movies 956

A Haunted Turkish Bathhouse 1975 Written by Masahiro Kakefuda and Nobuaki Nakajima, directed by Kazuhiko Yamaguchi. A Japanese film of the pink sort.

A Japanese erotic horror film set in a house of prostitution. The movie opens on the eve of the end of legal prostitution. In order to stay in business the owner of the house converts it to a bath house. The girls will rent the rooms from him. They can give their customers soapy baths and for an additional under the counter charge, a happy ending. Yukino doesn't want to work that way and decides to quit. Her husband Toriyama is a piece of human garbage, he tricks her into going to work at the bathhouse by making her think he's deep in debt with gangsters. In reality he's getting paid by the bathhouse owner's wife. Toriyama starts an affair with the owner's wife behind Yukino's back.

Yukino's sister, Mayumi, comes to live with them. Toriyama immediately rapes her. The life is hard for Yukino, she wants to leave the business, Toriyama and the owners wife beat her to death. They scum brick Yukino up in the basement wall, under the watchful eye of her black cat. Soon after Mayumi goes to work at the bathhouse. Things get worse for the baddies when Yukino's ghost and her black cat get their revenge on.

It's partially entertaining but I was hoping for more supernatural stuff and less beatings and torture. It's a mean place work and the people there are pretty horrible, most everyone comes to a bad end. I don't feel the need to pick up a copy now that I've seen it. Glad I got to see it.

Brutal Massacre A Comedy 2007 Written and directed by Stevan Mena.

David Naughton plays a horror director who's had three flops in a row. He's hoping to get out of his slump with his new picture Brutal Massacre. A documentary film maker is following David around with a cameraman. The documentary guy reveals all many of the bad things that have happened on David's past shoots, he has a lot of problems making his films and a person died during the making of a few of them. Despite that, a handful of his old crew are back to work with him. Naughton plays the director as a rather clueless guy, it's a wonder anyone would want to work with him. Certainly his three recent failures are keeping the money men at bay. He manages to get a budget together, then screws the picture by putting his crew up in a nice motel. Things get worse and worse as the shoot goes on. It's piled on high and deep. Much of the trouble is caused by everyone's lack of focus, David hires people without checking on their past work.

It's sort of funny, I did laugh occasionally but not always at the jokes. I did tire of the stupid characters, especially when there are so many of them. Ellen Sandweiss, some might remember her from The Evil Dead, is the most competent of the lot but even she has her mental and physical limits. She should never have gotten mixed up with that poo. The film has a bit of a happy ending, except for Carl. He didn't fair too well. Oh, well. It's another film I doubt I would buy now that I've seen it but I was happy to have a gander.

Lesbian Vampire KIllers 2009

Lesbian Vampire Killers 2009 Written by Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield, directed by Phil Claydon.

James Corden and Matthew Horne are pals. James got fired from his clown job for punching a child and Matthew just got dumped by his girlfriend. They decide to get away from their lives by hiking through a forest in Norfolk. They meet some young ladies who are heading for a cottage in the area, they go off to party with them. They soon learn of the local village's curse. On their 18th birthday all the young women of the village turn into lesbian vampires. Now our two dopes have to try to stay alive until the end of the movie. They do get some help from a crazy vicar and a lady called Lotte.

It was fairly good fun and there were enough good jokes to give me a laugh or two. I picked up a DVD somewhere cheap so I can rewatch it when I want.

Friday Night Movies 954

Gore From Outer Space 2001 Directed by Hirohisa Sasaki.

I though I hadn't see the movie before but when I looked it up on the IMDb I had voted for it on 6-17-14. I looked it up on my watched movie list and sure enough it's listed as being seen on 6/6/14. It was an earlier FNM night. I gave the movie a score of 7 on the IMDb which means I liked it more that time than this time. I'll try not to watch it again.

The Return Of Captain Invincible 1983 Written by Steven E de Souza and Andrew Gaty, directed by Philippe Mora. I don't recall seeing this but it was out at a time I used to go to the theater more often.

It's an Australian superhero musical comedy with Alan Arkin and Christopher Lee. There's a new Blu-ray out from Severin, that's what we watched.  The original poster is on top and the cover to the Severin release is below, conveniently labeled. I don't care for the Severin cover much at all. The movie I have mixed feelings about, I enjoyed the parts with Christopher Lee as the villain but many of the scenes with Captain Invincible weren't as entertaining. I'm not that happy with the songs for the most part and many of the jokes fall flat. It did poorly at the Australian box office, grossing $55K on a $7mil cost. Another one that I was happy to see but I doubt I'd watch it again.

Friday Night Movies 939

Left For Dead 2007 Written by Chad Leslie and directed by Albert Pyun. Am American Argentine production that was filmed in Argentina in 12 days. Albert won the Best Director award at the 2007 Costa del Sol Fantasy Film Festival.

A horror western with a demon gunfighter. Victoria Maurette plays Clementine, she's looking for a man called Sentenza, he deserted her and their baby. She meets a gang of whores who murdered all the people in a town. The head of the whores is looking for Sentenza also, he left her daughter pregnant and ran off.

They find Sentenza in the ghost town of Amnesty which is home to the dead soul of slain preacher Mobius Lockhardt. He made a pack with the devil to remain among the living. He can't leave the town and he can't die.

The whores get picked off one by one. There's a fair bit of action but the jittercam, jump cuts and freeze frames became annoying right quick. The characters were mostly entertaining, the lesser characters disappeared quickly, it's only an 84 min movie, no time to waste.

It's got a low score, a 3.2, on the IMDb but I thought it was more like a 5. That score would improve if there wasn't all the camera and editing trickery. That IMDb score is buoyed up by 54.5% of the votes being a 9 or a 10. I'm not sure who's voting, don't care. Don't think I'll bother with the DVD, maybe if I find it on clearance sometime.

Accion Mutante 1992 Written by Jorge Guerricaechevarría and Álex de la Iglesia, directed by Álex de la Iglesia. It's Álex's first film. A Spanish French production.

In a post-apocalyptic future the world is ruled by the rich and beautiful. A group of disable people, calling themselves mutants, plan to take down the rulers. Sadly, the mutants are mentally disabled and cannot formulate a plan that they can follow through. The kidnapping the movie opens with fails because they suffocate the victim.

The next kidnapping victim manages to survive in a complicated plot that I wouldn't even attempt to cover. It's a chaotic film with weird stuff going on all the time. The mutant group falls apart from the inside and nearly everyone dies.

I'd seen this 22 years ago but couldn't remember a thing about it. It's noisy, colorful, violent, funny and worth a look for some. Not everyone is going to like this one. We watched the new Severin Blu-ray release and it looks nice enough. The movie was pretty low budget, nice that the film elements survived. Doubt I'm going to add this to my collection.

Friday Night Movies 933

The Grave 1996 Story by Peter Glatzer, screenplay by Jonas Pate and Josh Pate, directed by Jonas Pate.

A couple of bottom feeder criminals in prison hear a story about a grave with a treasure buried in it. They escape and one of them gets shot stealing clothes from a hillbilly's clothes line. The pair hitch a ride and the guy gives them his truck so he can report it stolen for the insurance. It was a poor truck I would hardly think he'd get anything for it.

The guys seek medical help from a guy they know who is a mortician. He can't help much at all, the wounded guy dies but not before giving up the story about the grave. The mortician and his two even stupider friends decide to dig up the loot themselves. The other escaped convict shows up only to be killed by the mortician's pal. They don't find any treasure in the grave except a ring the dead guy was wearing. They  bury the convict in the grave.

Things get more complicated when a prison guard who knows about the grave murders one of the mortician's pals. Equally disruptive is the second escaped convict's ex-girlfriend. Most everyone dies.

I enjoyed it but wouldn't seek out a copy for me. Doubtful I would get around to it again. There are better stupid criminal movies out there.

Skeleton Man 2004 Written by Frederick Bailey and directed by Johnny Martin. Made for TV horror film with Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien. It aired on the Sci Fi Channel.

An archaeologist digs up an Indian burial ground. He takes the skull of a native called the movie calls Skeleton Man. SM pops into existence through a portal and kills the archaeologist and anyone else who enters the wooded area his grave was found in. Some soldiers dies while on maneuvers and the military sends in Micheal, Casper and a few other folks for Skeleton Man to kill. Most everyone dies before Michael blows up a chemical plant.

The explosion might have killed the Skeleton Man but it seems unlikely as he appears again in the end credits. I'm unsure if that's what they meant, it's not clear. Nothing much is clear in the movie, it's just an excuse to kill people off. It's a slasher film with skeleton on a horse. It would have been better if the horse was doing all the killing. A good story would also have helped. Not one I'm going to need to see again.

Friday Night Movies 932

Frost: Portrait Of A Vampire 2003 Written and directed by Kevin VanHook.

Jack Frost is a mercenary, one of his men, a guy called Nat, gets bitten by a vampire on a mission in Afghanistan. After the war Nat goes onto another job and Jack becomes a painter and art historian.

Nat goes on a job in Mexico for some scumbag. That scumbag likes to keep his activities on the down low and he has Nat and the gang killed after the mission. Nat manages to escape but he's wounded. After wandering in the desert for a while, Nat dies and becomes a vampire. The vampire lore in the movie doesn't follow the Dracula lore. These vampires can go out in the day and you seem to get turned after you die, no matter how long it takes.

Jack learns that the scumbag had Nat and his men killed. He goes to visit the scumbag for a spot of revenge. That's the end of that guy. Nat shows up in San Diego and kills some people. He hides out at his wife's place but she soon sees the vampi side of him and runs to Jack. Jack finds Nat who warns him he won't kill Jack if Jack leaves him alone.

After Nat kills his wife and Jack's girlfriend all Jack can do is hunt the prick down. The actress who plays Jack's girlfriend is quite pretty but she's a terrible actress, she might be the worst of a rather poor lot. Most everything about the movie is poor. It gets a 2.4 on the IMDb for good reason, 48.1% of the votes are a 1. I gave it a 2 because I'm mean. I did like the nice animated bats but that's only a few seconds. There isn't anything to make me want to recommend it to other horror fans. I wouldn't need to see it again.

Goodbye 20th Century 1998 Written and directed by Darko Mitrevski and Aleksandar Popovski. Perhaps the only film made in Macedonia that I've seen. It's a weird post apocalypse film that means more to the film makers than I can figure out.

It's a triptych of stories, the first takes place in the post apocalypse world of 2019. A man is being executed by the leaders of a tribe, he fails to die no matter how often they shoot him. I don't know what's going on but I liked the cast's costumes. The second story is set in 1900. It's a 3 min short in sepia. A man has fallen in love with his sister, he buys her from their father. After they marry, the husband is killed by members of the wedding party.

The third story is set New Years Eve 1999. A man dressed as Santa returns to his apartment building to find a wake going on. Things are kind of normal for a bit. Violence breaks out and nearly everyone's dead at the end of the segment. I did like the red headed ladies costume. I'm not sure what was going on, I am sure it's probably not worth thinking about anymore.

It's an odd film, very stylish but lacking a good story. It's mostly well filmed and produced but there's no real narrative, the first and third segments could have been part of more interesting films, one that's been fleshed out with a story. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray, it looks fine, you can see a copy on YouTube or download a better one off of Rarelust. One of them is in the link above.