PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

The Midnight Horror Collection - Flesh Eating Zombies

The Midnight Horror Collection - Flesh Eating Zombies has 4 movies on a single layer double sided disc. That's two low rez movies per side, the bit rate is low, about 2.5MB on average, the images look really poor. There's not much good to say about most of the movies either. You can find it on Amazon for 8 bucks and it's not worth it. I paid about 6 bucks for it and feel robbed.

Last Of The Living 2009 Written and directed by Logan McMillan.

I saw this back in 2010 but didn't remember that when I picked up this used 4 pack recently. The main guy looked familiar and sure enough the IMDb said I'd seen it before. It was a selection for Friday Night Movies, the link to the post is in the title, I still feel about the same as I did then. I might watch it again someday but the likelihood is low. 

Grave Mistake 2008 Written by Jimmy George and Chris LaMartina, directed by Chris LaMartina.

A poor looking zombie movie. The zombies are created by toxic waste and the guy who did the dumping is the step father of a young boy he likes to punch around. The kid has a couple of friends at the local gas station, he hangs out with the goofy mechanic and the long haired owner. They all team up when the town's citizens turn to flesh eating monsters. They try to survive but one by one they get picked off. The usual sort of fair but done poorly.

I'm not sure if they intentionally desaturated the color or it was just poor equipment and lighting. No matter, it sucks to look at. The film is really grainy on top of that. It just makes the below average script and the poor acting harder to see. It's made in Baltimore and the film makers say that it was made for about a grand. More money might help the look of the film but not so much the story. I have seen one other feature directed by Chris, the 2017 Call Girl Of Cthulhu, it wasn't very good. I wouldn't need to see either again.

Awaken The Dead 2007 Written and directed by Jeff Brookshire.

Another low budget film that looks awful. Desaturated color and dense grainy image equal a poor viewing experience. The script is a hodgepodge of goofy choices and coincidences. An ex-assassin is now a pacifist priest, a woman is an ex prostitute and daughter of the man who's caused all the zombies to appear in a town. He's invented a formula that can be sprayed on a town by a small plane. It turns everyone into flesh eating zombies. The father is the guy who trained the priest to be an assassin in some sort of black ops program. That secret black ops element is something I've gotten really tired of in the last few years. None of the actors are good enough to make anything much of the script. Not worth seeing, should be avoided in the future. Hopefully, I'll remember to look these up on my blog in the future. So easy to forget the easily forgettable.

I Am Omega 2007 Based on Richard Matheson's novel I Am Legend, screenplay by Geoff Meed, directed by Griff Furst. Griff is the son of Stephen Furst. Griff has acted in a lot of productions and directed 17 films, most of them for TV. I've only seen Lake Placid 3 and now this one. The film is produced by The Asylum. Never a sign of quality.

The only thing positive I can say about this movie is that it stars Mark Dacascos. He's been in some good films in his 30 year career, so sad to see he worked for The Asylum. Still, paycheck. The Asylum made their name by making low budget films that had a similarity to upcoming big studio films, releasing them months before the studio film comes out. They make money by not spending anything on their films. The Sharknado series is one of their more well known properties. One of my favorites of Mark's films is the 1997 action film Drive.

In this movie Mark is hold up in his compound trying to survive the zombie plague. He's forced to help save a woman and get her to scientists who are trying to create a cure, she's got some sort of antibody. The guys who enlisted Mark's aid are insane liars, they want to maintain the status quo so they can keep on killing people. They need killing and the film delivers.

Despite that, it's not a very good film, nearly any of the previous versions is more entertaining. I particularly like the 1964 Vincent Price film The Last Man On Earth quite a bit. I've seen that 4 or 5 times so far and really like the grimness of it. I will watch it again someday, I can't say the same about Mark's film, much as I like Mark. I'd rather watch him again in something good like Brotherhood Of The Wolf, Cradle To Grave, or John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum.

Spliced 2002

 

Spliced 2002 Written by Ellen Cook and directed by Gavin Wilding.The last of the three film DVD set that they couldn't even bother naming.

A Canadian film that's also known as The Wisher. The latter title is also the title of the film within the film, it's a popular horror movie that Mary wants to see. Her father forbids her to go as she's been having issues with nightmares and sleepwalking. Her father says it's because of the horror movies.

Mary goes anyway and wishes her father would go away. He's killed on the way to the theater to pick her up. Six weeks after the funeral she starts seeing the Wisher character from the film of the same name in the real world. She makes other wishes and they come true. More people get slashed by the Wisher. Mary gets some help to fight the Wisher. It turns out to be the shy student in her class who possibly was pushed over the edge by some subliminal messages in the film.

It looks fairly nice but it's lacking a well told story. The story piles gathers up a good lot of plot elements. It sure reminds me of a whole bunch of the other films they came from, the Wisher has Freddy Kruger hands but they're made of glass instead of metal. They even copy Freddy's signature move of running his claws along a wall. You probably know the one, it's shot from behind, about butt height. It's one I wouldn't need to watch again, I should watch some of the films this borrows from, first. Not a very good DVD set when all is said and done. That's often the case for these low budget film collections.

Satan's Little Helper 2004

  

Satan's Little Helper 2004 Written and directed by Jeff Lieberman. Part of a Triple Feature 2 DVD set, this DVD is two sided, backed with Spliced, and Blood Gnome is a single disc. Jeff directed a few films, this was his first, and last, since 1995. I've seen Blue Sunshine and my comment on my Watched Movie List was "wow, crap - Z king sucks". I'd seen Squirm on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and my comment was "Yuck".

In Satan's Little Helper a stupid 9 year old called Dougie has a fixation with a video game where he plays Satan's Little Helper. In real life some horrible guy is dressed up as a Satan like figure, he's killing the locals and using their bodies to dress up his house for Halloween. Dougie's sister has come home for Halloween and she's brought her boyfriend. Dougie isn't too happy about that, he wanted to Trick or Treat with his sister only, he stalks off in a huff, and soon after encounters the fake Satan. Dougie thinks the guy is real and he tells his new pal that he should send the boyfriend to hell. Dougie is a real creep. Satan beats the crap out of the boyfriend and dumps him in an alley.

Dougie bring Satan guy back to his house and everyone thinks he the boyfriend. Dougie and Satan guy are sent to the store for candy to give out to Trick or Treaters. Their shopping trip leaves a trail of deaduns, and still Dougie thinks it's all playing. Back at home Dougie's dad is dispatched and everyone finally realizes that it's real. They are a thick bunch at best. It gets worse and the movie ends on a cliffhanger. Annoying!

I'm thinking below average even though it had a few good moments. Not something I'd need to watch or re-watch. Hopefully I won't bother with it again.

Blood Gnome 2004

 

Blood Gnome 2004  Written and directed by John Lechago. This was John's first movie, he's made 8 total through 2020. The only other film by John I've seen is Killjoy 3. I don't remember it being anything special, I never bothered to post about it. He directed two more Killjoy films but they weren't in the multi movie set I got with the 3 Killjoy films and the first 9 of the Puppet Master series. Blood Gnome is in a three pack with a couple of other low-budget horror films.

Daniel is a police photographer, he sees something in the viewfinder of a broken video camera while photographing a murder. We see what he sees, that ugly critter in the poster, but no one else does. They think he might still be stressed from the recent murder of his wife, he'd spent a few months in an mental hospital to recuperate, now he's back to work.

Daniel meets up with a customer of the dominatrix and asks for some help. They figure out what's going on and the critters come after them. There's plenty of bondage, nudity and killing. Most of the bondage scenes turn into blood baths, especially once the flesh hungry little fellers get to chomping.

Julie Strain shows up at a naughty party and she was the only one of the cast that I knew. I'm always saddened to see her big fake breasts. They are kind of scary. It's not that good a film but I got to the end and I did like the little critters. It turned out that I had seen BG before but that was back in 2004 and I'd long forgotten anything about the film. I doubt I'll watch it again.

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Saturday Morning Mystery 2012 Story by Kat Chandler, Jonny Mars and Jason Wehling, screenplay by Joey Balsimo, Aron Leggett and Jason Wehling, directed by Spencer Parsons.

Some paranormal investigators are broke and useless at finding ghosts. They have a paid gig at a haunted mansion, then they arrive they find there's something in the house but it ain't a ghost.

This Scooby gang parody starts off fairly well, then drifts into a poorly written second act where all the characters open up about their personal problems. That really killed my interest in the characters and their story. The third act ramps up the violence but by the end I was glad it was over. I thought it was below average and I wouldn't want to see it again.

Netherbeast Incorporated 2007 Written by Bruce Dellis and directed by Dean Matthew Ronalds.

Steve Burns is an office worker called Otto Granberry, and he works at Berm-Tech Industries, Darrel Hammond is his boss Turner. Steve gets called into Turner's office only to find Mike staked through the heart. Turner tells Otto he's got to rewrite Mike's report by Tuesday and he didn't kill Mike because of the poor report, he killed Mike because he was a vampire. Turner wants Otto to dispose of the body and get on that report.

We soon find out that Berm-Tech Industries is a very old company and all the workers are immortal netherbeasts that are often called vampires. They all live in Arizona, on the top of the Berm-Tech office block, they hardly ever go outside, living people don't get past the receptionist. The netherbeasts don't care to be called vampires, they have their own backstory and their problem is caused by a growth on their hearts. They drink human blood and eat human flesh but they don't murder to get their food anymore, they have a system in place to get fresh bodies.

Turner creates two issues, he hires a living woman to replace Mike and he's hired Judd Nelson to study the company's work habits and report. On top of that mess, some employees are murdered by an unseen person. Otto, office manager Dave Foley and Mike's replacement team up to try to figure out what's going on.

I'd seen this last week on Amazon Prime and liked it so much that I immediately ordered the DVD. I enjoyed it as much the second time through. It's a good solid comedy with a good script that's got funny jokes. There's a bit of romance, a murder mystery, a hostile take over and plenty of fresh blood. I'll be glad to see this down the road sometime.

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Crazy Samurai 400 Vs 1 2020 Written by Atsuki Tomori and directed by Yûji Shimomura. Japanese film originally titled Crazy Samurai Musashi.

Director Sion Sono wanted to do a 10 minute single take scene for a unmade film called Kenkichi in 2011. A stunt team worked for months on the 10 minute scene. Actor and stuntman Tak Sakaguchi proposed expanding that scene and continued working with the team for 8 more months. The scene was filmed in 2011 but the project was shelved, in 2018 crowd funding was used to finance filming the framing story, rerecording the audio, adding CGI blood and marketing.

Tak Sakaguchi plays Miyamoto Musashi, he was a real person, born in 1584 and dying in 1645. This story is an exaggerated version of an incident in Musashi's life. In 1604 Musashi fought 3 duels with the Yoshioka clan. In one of the battles he arrived early to find an ambush of between 70 and 200 men. He surprised them, killed a bunch and then ran away.

The movie opens with clan members discussing the situation, one of the men mentions they've gotten 100 students and 300 mercenaries waiting in the surrounding area. The audience can see them hunkering down behind some bushes. Back at the compound Musashi leaps out of a tree and slices a young boy down. Then the 77 minute single take starts. Small groups of men attack Musashi, lucky for him they attack one at a time, unlucky for them he chops them down one by one. The fight ranges through the village and eventually cuts off rather abruptly, the next scene is 7 years later.

There's mention on the IMDb Trivia page of Musashi fighting 588 men but I didn't start counting at the start of the sequence so I can't confirm that. Many of the mentions of the scene say Musashi's killed all these men but so many of them just get up and walk away, that there's little sense of the carnage. The viewer can't help but notice that the battle field has so few bodies on it. 

Sadly the highly touted feature of the film is a bit of a let down. The 77 minute single take is pretty repetitious and kind of dull. There's no real cool action bits, hardly any closeup action, nothing to really give it some oomph, just the same few moves used over and over. By contrast, the last scene, the one 7 years after the big fight, is edited, it's way more dynamic than the main action scene and it's not outstanding in anyway. It was interesting to watch and while the 77 minute scene is a good technical feat on film, I'm reminded that they've been putting 2-3 hour long operas on stage with hundreds of performers for centuries.

Thirst 2009 Based on Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, screenplay by Park Chan-wook and Jeong Seo-kyeong, directed by Park Chan-wook.

A Catholic priest volunteers to test an experimental vaccine for the Emmanuel Virus. The drug fails and he's infected by the killer virus. Surprisingly he doesn't die, he the only survivor of a lot of 50 test subjects. People think he's got magic healing ability and flock to his church. An old friend invites the priest to Mahjong night at his house. There the priest finds himself attracted to the friend's wife.

Soon after the priest has a relapse and finds he's become a blood sucking vampire who's can't go out int he day anymore. He starts feeding on people, he has an affair with the old friend's wife. She talks him into helping kill the husband and then into making her a vampire. It's all pretty sordid. The priest thinks so too and he arranges an early morning visit with Mr Sun for him and his old friend's wife.

A well enough made film that just didn't have a story that I cared that much for, it's a good reminder that vampires suck. Not something I would buy, I wouldn't need to bother with it again.

Tidal Wave 2009

Tidal Wave 2009 Written and directed by JK Youn.

It's a 120 min Korean disaster movie that takes about 75 mins to get to the tidal wave and all the destruction. First we meet a whole bunch of people and then many of them get slaughtered by the water. It's always a good idea to live far inland. The melodrama is a bit tedious and the CGI is fair to good. I wouldn't need to see it again.

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Hard Ride To Hell 2009 Director Penelope Buitenhuis co-wrote the screenplay with Matthew Chernov and David Rosiak. Another of the dollar DVDs from the Dollar Tree. I've got a big stack of them but many of them make me wonder why I bought them.

Some young people are traveling in Texas in an RV. During an overnight stop in the badlands one of them accidentally sees some bikers doing some satanic stuff to some naked ladies. His phone goes off and the chase is on. The young people get some help from a knife salesman and a priest. Miguel Ferrer plays the head of the bikers and Katherine Isabelle plays one of the young travelers.

There's plenty of chasing and fighting, with additional biting and knife stabbing. Even so it's not overly gory. It's got a fairly good sense of humor, some of the characters were less annoying then the ones I usually find in these sorts of movies. There's nothing new here, just another story about some poor saps who went to Texas and got in some deep shit. It scores a 3.8 on the IMDb and that's with 22.2% of the votes being a 10. I wouldn't give it more than a 4, it's lacking enough to be a 5. I'll keep the DVD but I probably won't watch it again.

The Thompsons 2012 Directed by Mitchell Altieri ad Phil Flores under the name The Butcher Brothers. Mitchell co-wrote the screenplay with Cory Knauf, who also stars in the movie. It's a sequel to The Hamiltons from 2006. I haven't seen that.

The Hamiltons are a family of curse vampire like creatures. That's them in the poster. They had parents but they are dead now. They must kill and drink blood to survive. In the first movie they kill way too many people in one place, a security camera caught them, now the police are on their trail.

They've moved to Europe and changed their name to Thompson, eventually they wind up in the UK. The youngest kid got shot in the first movie and they are trying to keep him alive. They have a lead to possible help, a town and a name, Cory heads there and meets the lead. He's got a pub and it turns out that the people they meet are their ancestors. They are just as awful as the Hamiltons. Then it's a battle between parts of the same family until one side comes out on top.

I found it about average, it's well enough made but that Cory spends a lot of movie narrating his plight as a cursed murdering scumbag. He's kind of annoying. I wouldn't think I would need to bother with it again but I will keep the DVD, it was another Dollar Tree purchase.

The Nanny 2018 Written by Matthew Allen, Ed Dougherty and Marcel Sarmiento, directed by Joel Novoa. Another Dollar Tree dollar DVD.

A single mom hires Jamie Murray to be her new nanny, Noa and Michael are the two children. Jamie is a rather odd character and Noa really doesn't want her around. Turns out she had good reason to dislike the new nanny. Jamie triggers something in Noa and we learn eventually that Jamie is a fairy and Noa is a sort of changeling.

Nicholas Brendon has a date with mom, he uses that opertunity to kidnap Noa. Turns out he knows what the nanny is, he's looking for his daughter, she was taken by fairies. Jamie comes after him and so do mom and her friend the local policeman. It all has a sort of happy ending.

It's more an urban fantasy film than a horror film. It was about average. Script wasn't bad, nice countryside locations in Northfield Minnesota, good cast. I doubt I'd bother with it again but who knows. I'll file it away for the future.

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Species 1995 Written by Dennis Feldman and directed by Roger Donaldson. Roger has  banged out quite a few movies since 1971 but I can't say I ever watch many of them. I know I've watched Cadillac Man and The Getaway. I didn't care that much for either. I know I watched Dante's Peak on TV some time after seeing Species. It was about average for a disaster movie I think I went to see Species in the theater.

The movie opens with a nice fly over of the Arecibo dish. Ben Kingsley is head guy at a secret government lab that's been in contact with aliens. The aliens told them to make some DNA and mix it with human DNA, then tell the aliens what happened. When I first heard that I thought, how fuckin' stupid are these guys, by the end of the movie you know. Repeat 3 more times.

Michelle Williams plays the young alien human hybrid called Sil. They keep her in a locked room with transparent walls. They decide to terminate her but that goes wrong and she escapes. I wonder if those transparent walls have a warranty. While Ben gets a team together to track and destroy Sil she grows into Natasha Henstridge.

Sil has an urge to mate and create more of her. Men fall for her charms and fall down dead after she pokes a pointy tentacle into them. Sil's body morphs when having sex, she becomes more the alien creature. Not the last thing you want to see as you get stuffed full of tentacle.

The team, Michael Madsen, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker and Marg Helgenberger are after Sil and have one encounter after another as they follow the trail of corpses. Alfred even impregnates her, he was easily fooled by a cut and dye job. They keep chasing her and eventually Sil and her offspring are destroyed. At est until the sequel. 

I like the movie for the most part, plenty of running about and stunts. The cast is okay, nice production values. I've seen it 3 or 4 times and enjoyed it.

Species II 1998 Written by Chris Brancatto and directed by Peter Medak.

Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger and Natasha Henstridge all return to the film. A mission to Mars is the big news as the movie opens. The crew of the ship collect some soil samples and bring a bit of alien DVD aboard. It thaws out and infects the crew. Marg has created a second Sil, calling her Eve, and isolated her in a lab. One of the returned astronauts pulls a pair of sisters and knocks them up with his super powerful alien sperm.

Micheal gets called in once the bodies start showing up. He goes on the hunt with Marg. They chase about until the aliens are put back in the bottle for the sequel. It wasn't quite as good as the previous film, barely average but watchable. Good monster effects though.

Species III 2004 Ben Ripley wrote the script and Brad Turner directed. It was a direct to video release that repeats the same story as the first two films. Just some different guys making the same mistakes as the previous. I'm only watching it to watch all four films. It's not awful but it is repetitive. The big difference is producer Fran Mancuso wanted to young up the cast to appeal to young adults. Big deal.

Species: The Awakening 2007  Ben Ripley wrote the script and Nick Lyon directed. Another direct to video of the about the same quality as the third movie. I might skip the last two when I watch the first two again some day.

Friday Night Movies 817

Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs 2015 Anthony Fankhauser and Rafeal Jordan wrote the poor screenplay and Ari Noval did a so-so job directing. Together they manage to make a pot boiler with little nourishment. Looks like the movie appeared on SyFy at some point. It's kind of typical of what they feature.

Rob Hills returns home after failing at the rodeo circuit, he's got some past history with the Sheriff, who's now living with Rob's old girlfriend. Eric Robert's plays Rob's father, they are reunited in a jail cell, one they should have stayed in. Vernon Wells plays the head of a mining company that has a mine in the area. The miners have opened a chamber and released some gas fueled dinosaurs. They get to chompin' the locals and rampaging about the town. Just about everyone dies but I didn't care, most of them were jerks. It's a film that brings little joy, other than rooting for the dinos.

Dispiser 20o3 Written and directed by Philip J Cook. Typical of Amazon Prime, they've listed this as being made in 2018 when it's a film from 2003. It's a low budget green screen movie with amateur actors and a so-so script.

The guy with the machine gun is an artist, he gets fired from his job and dumped by his girlfriend the same day he dies in a car wreck. He wakes up in Purgatory where he meets up with some demon fighters. That's them in the background. They battle monsters and try to keep the faith.

It's a bit more interesting than the previous movie but still below average. Cook's a little more imaginative than the writers on the first movie tonight. Not something I needed to see or would bother with again.