Joe brought a dvd he got from Netflix. I was curious to see The Land That Time Forgot, a 2009 movie from The Asylum. That's a low budget film house that makes science fiction and horror movies, most of which wind up on the SyFy Channel. The movie is based on an Edgar Rice Burroughs book of the same name. That's the way to see them, not wasting your NetFlix rentals. There was a 1975 version of The Land That Time Forgot with Doug McClure. I haven't seen it in a while. It wasn't that great but this isn't either. Some people, mostly annoying, are vacationing on a small boat in the Bermuda Triangle. They pass through a glowing rip in time and wind up near an island. The captain, played by Tomothy Bottoms, leads most of the passengers and his one crew member to the island in a small raft. They leave the wife of C. Thomas Howell, who is also the director, on the boat with a flare gun. The first guy to get it is the crew member. He's attacked by pterodactyl and falls to his death. The pterodactyl's, like the giant bug in an earlier scene, disappear from the movie after their only appearance. They meet a T Rex and escape. They meet a pilot who had come through the portal and been on the island for more than a year. He's also the writer of the movie, which I hope he didn't spend over a year on, cause it's nothing to be proud of. The pilot's got a friend and they both hide from some German's who passed through to the island with their WWII sub. Lot's of boring stuff happens and some guys get snuffed by the T Rex. The pilot and his friend steal the raft and leave Mr. Howell and the gang with the Germans. They turn into friends and distill some fuel for the sub. They hope to escape in the sub and go back to the real world. They blow up a T Rex
but there's another one. It was never mentioned at all, it just shows up. It looks pretty much like the first one. Easy way to get more use out of the CGI I guess. It's that sort of sloppy film making that ruins most of the movies from The Asylum. They don't care, they are in a rush to make a film that seems like a big blockbuster. They had three trailers for their films before the movie and we watched them. Two were ripoff titles and one more generic. The Terminators is humans fighting robots and if one terminator is great , many are greater. The Transmorphers: Fall of Man is aliens in robots who are fighting men. The third trailer was the one I am looking forward to. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. It's got a giant shark, so big he can bite through the Golden Gate Bridge, so strong he can leap out of the water and snap an airliner in two. Ironically it's on the SyFy channel tonight. It's the saturday morning after movie night. So tonight at 8 pm I'll be watching and I'm sure to be disappointed by the script, why should The
Asylum change, but I'll be likin' the goofy shark biting through the Golden Gate Bridge and chompin' a plane out of the sky. I have an affinity for those big critters. Too bad they aren't in some real good movies more often. Too bad C. Thomas Howell doesn't make real good movies either. They do get the sub going, but sadly Mr and Mrs Howell are left on the island to man a sequel. I'm just guessing, based on the companies track record, but I bet it's good odds that they haven't stopped stinkin' up the SyFy channel. Not by a long shot.
I Drink Your Blood is a 1975 movie about some devil worshiping hippies and the town where they come to a bad end. Travelling in a van they stop and have a bit of a ritual. One of the members, just in it for the kicks, brings a local girl. She hides behind a tree, but not very well. Discovered, the members beat and rape her. She stumbles into town next morning all dirty and marked up. Only problem, there's isn't much town. Her brother Pete and her grandpa are pretty much it. There's the lady who runs the bakery. They'll all be leavin' soon. A local dam project has cleared the town and the place is filled with abandoned houses. The cult takes up residence in the boarded up hotel after their van breaks down. The girl, in shock, finally comes to and talks. Grandpa grabs a gun and heads over to see the damn hippies. They break his glasses, push him around, and dose him with LSD. Pete rescues his grandpa and helps him home. Next day Pete gets his revenge. He injects blood from a rabid dog into some meet pies from the bakery. He works there and sells the pies to the cult of satanic hippies. They get rabies and turn even more violent. They seemed to enjoy it for the most part, at least until the stabbin' starts. The hippies start murderin' each other and when the dam workers show up in town they're in the soup too. They turn rabid real fast, maybe they're in better shape, and start attackin' everybody. Lots of gruesome deaths. The actors aren't none too good, the story is pretty stupid and the film making less than top notch. It was fairly entertaining despite that. Not for everybody, that's for sure. My mom wouldn't like it. Maybe you would.
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