PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 1007

Samurai Wolf 1966 Written by Hideo Gosha and Kei Tasaka, directed by Hideo Gosha. The movie is packed in a recent Blu-ray with Samurai Wolf 2. Gosha has directed a good number of movies. I've only seen the 1971 Yakuza film The Wolves and that was fairly good. It's a modern day story and nothing to do with the Samurai Wolf series.

A ronin who calls himself Wolf gets caught up in a fight between the blind lady who runs the postal station and the local baddie. The blind lady has to move 30,000 pieces of gold from her station to the next station. The local baddie and the horrible woman who runs the brothel want that money. Many die before the story ends.

It's very similar type of story like you'd find in Zatoichi movies. Isao Natsuyagi is OK as the Wolf and the rest of the cast is fine. There's plenty of fights and a stack of bodies when the movie is done. Plenty of vacancies for new baddies the day after the movie. The score is heavily influenced by Italian Western music, it's rather noisy. Over all I liked the movie. Looking forward to the second Wolf movie.

Monster Party 2018 Written and directed by Chris Von Hoffman.

Casper, Iris and Dodge are three house robbers who steal from the rich. Casper is in dire need of $100,000 to pay off his father's gambling debts or the baddie will light his dad on fire. The trio decide to rob a mansion posing as replacement catering staff for a fancy dinner party. They figure out where the safe is and create a plan of action.

Things don't go so well once they start the plan. Turns out the house is filled with psychopaths and murders celebrating their not murdering anyone in a while. Like addicts who haven't had a drink or taken some drugs the urge is still inside. The urge takes over and poor Dodge is the first to go. The fight for survival is on and Casper turns out a dab hand with a katana. It's touch and go for Casper but he has some help from the daughter of their host.

It starts off a bit pokey and I didn't care that much for the trio of robbers. It picks up once the house guests start showing their true colors. I wound up enjoying it more than I thought I would. I did enjoy the movie's sense of humor but I don't think I'll pick up the Blu-ray.

Science Fiction Sunday 775

Mutant Blast 2018 Written by Fernando Alle, Adrián Cardona and Alex Duda, directed by Fernando Alle. A postapoc movie from Portugal. Released in the US by Troma.

A hungover guy wakes up from a party to find someone has drawn a mustache on his lips and a penis on his chin. If that wasn't annoying enough, a secret government organization has accidentally released some of it's failed experiments from their super soldier program. The failed experiments are infectious and eat human flesh but they aren't zombies. No matter.

Our guy goes out for a look around and runs into a lady soldier and one of the more successful super soldiers. The lady soldier accidentally shots the super soldier in the head. She blames our guy for it but it's her gun in her hand. While our guy and the lady soldier are heading for a rendezvous the secret organization blows off some nukes. Instant mutants appear and our guy isn't immune to the mutating power of the bombs.

Still our guy's better off than a lot of the blast victims, the lucky people die, the unlucky ones mutate. Our guy's left hand falls off and a rat grows out of the stump. Then things get crazy.

I thought it was a good laugh and several of them were out loud. Very much the sort of movie Troma is famous for, plenty of gore, jokes and weird characters, just funnier and better made than a lot of their product. I'd recommend it to the sort of movie fan that likes those kind of movies. You can see a nice 1080p version on YouTube in the link above. According to the director the Troma Blu-ray is a few seconds off when playing the subtitles. That would be annoying, the YouTube video is fine and looks great.

Last Sentinel 2023 Written by Malachi Smyth and directed by Tanel Toom. Found on Amazon Prime. I was disappointed to find Amazon is going to start inserting commercials in their free with membership movies. It doesn't surprise me one bit. I'm already down on the service because it doesn't offer variable speed playback. It's hard to watch crappy movies at normal speed.

The movie is a boring bottle story about 4 people on a outpost way out at sea. They shot the tower scenes in one of the Redsand Towers Sea Forts in the ocean off of Kent in the UK. It's 2063 and the world has become submerged in water. There are only two small continents poking out of the ocean. Of course they are fighting with each other.

Most of the movie is the 4 people falling apart. They aren't clever and they've been having issues dealing with their situation. There's a twist at the end that you can see coming. Dull and uninteresting. Don't bother with it.

Deadtectives 2018

Deadtectives 2018 Screenplay by Tony West, David Clayton Rogers, Mark Riley and Cris Rice, directed by Tony West.

The ghost hunter TV show Deadtectives is having rating issues, they decide to investigate Mexico's most haunted house in order to boost them. The hosts and crew set up in the house to see if they can find any spooks. In case they don't they've got their special effects guy to make some noise or move a prop.

Lucky for them, there are spirits. Not so lucky for them, the spirits are killers. They kill Javier, he doesn't walk into the bright light and it disappears leaving him as a ghost. Javier discovers the ghosts are a mother, father and two children. The father is a bad egg, he's keeping his family from moving into the light, he's determined to kill the ghost hunters.

The ghost hunters fight back, the mother joins the fight and destroys her husband's spirit. The mother and children move on but Javier misses his bright light for a second time. The team decide to use Javier as a chance to find and help more ghosts.

Sadly I didn't care much for the ghost hunters, they were annoying for the most part. There were some jokes but there weren't enough good ones. I've seen that plot used a few times before and there's nothing new here. I doubt I'd ever get back to this one again.

Brother's Justice 2010

Brother's Justice 2010 Written by Dax Shepard and directed by David Palmer and Dax Shepard. A mockumentary about making a movie.

Dax wants to be less of a comedian and more of an action star. He's trying to get some money to make an action movie. He's got an idea but hardly anything concrete to offer the money guys. He visits a lot of people, trying to get them in the movie or get some cash. Guests playing themselves include Ashton Kutcher, Tom Arnold, Bradley Cooper, David Koechner, Jon Favreau and Seth Green.

I enjoyed the movie but it's a bit weak. There are funny bits but they aren't that great on average. I bought the DVD cheap and hoped for better. You can't pick a winner all the time.

Mountain Men 2014

Mountain Men 2014 Screenplay by Cameron Labine and Elan Mastai, directed by Cameron Labine. A Canadian movie that cost about $3,000,000. Looks nice for that little money.

Two brothers have to travel into the countryside to evict a squatter in the family cabin. They don't get along and their animosity gets out of hand. There's plenty of yelling and collateral damage. The end result is they have to get through the wilderness on foot.

I thought it was fun enough, there's a good number of gags and plenty of slapstick. I'd watch it again sometime.

Friday Night Movies 944

A Boy And His Samurai 2010 Based on Fushigi no Kuni no Yasubei by Gen Araki, screenplay and direction by Yoshihiro Nakamura. Yoshihiro is the director of Fish Story. That's the only other movie of his I've seen.

This movie is a fish out of water comedy, a samurai from late 1800s Edo is transported to modern day Toyko. Kijima's there for a few months and he learns a different life style. A lady named Yusa takes Kijima in and her son Tomoya bonds with him.

Kijima learns to bake delicious desserts and he gets a job after winning a contest. He becomes too attentive to his job and neglects the family. Things go bad before they get better.

It's a charming movie. It's a bit slow going but I was entertained. It's got a few laughs and some jeopardy. Things end on a good note. You can see a nice copy over on Dailymotion.

The Hyperions 2020 Story, screenplay (with additional material by Mike Timm) and direction by Jon McDonald.

There's way too much dysfunctional family in the story. In 1960 Professor Ruckus Mandulbaum invented a badge that gives the wearer a superpower. He chose two orphan children and a slightly older woman to be his super hero team. Vista didn't adjust well and she ran off after using her power to control people's minds to force the Professor to give up a pile of cash and a special device. She left the Professor her badge.

The Professor got rid of Ansel, taking his badge away, and found more youngsters to replace them. That was in 1965, fourteen years later Vista and Ansel are trying to steal the badges from the Hyperion museum. Vista needs them to recover her daughter from another ex-Hyperion who wants his badge back. The baddie was on the second team, they got tossed aside after a few years and the Professor is hunting for a new team.

Everybody's got daddy issues and they are all in a bit of a mess. The movie is a bit of a mess. There's some jokes but they are a bit few and far between. It's rather slow and the characters are annoying at times. It reminds me how good The Specials is and I should watch it again sometime soon. I'd watch that before I'd get around to The Hyperions again.

Friday Night Movies 941

Slaughterhouse Rules 2018 Screenplay by Henry Fitzherbert and Crispian Mills, directed by Crispian Mills. First production from Stolen Picture, a company formed by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

Simon Pegg is is Mr Houseman, a teacher at a fancy upscale private school. Michael Sheen is the greedy head of school. He's made a deal with frackers to drill for oil shale out in the woods. He bans the students from the woods.

Finn Cole plays a Northern working class student called Donald. His mother signs him up for the school without his knowing about it. Donald's not happy going there, it's a stereotypical English boarding school with secrets, class and bullying.

A giant sinkhole opens in the woods. The fracking also releases methane gas. It makes a nice green flame when lit. It turns out there's something down there and it's come up for a look. Most of the students are lucky, they've gone home for the weekend. Poor Donald has to stay and be bullied by his house Prefect.

I enjoyed the heck out of it. I enjoyed the in-jokes referring to other famous school films. There's plenty of comedy and some gory bits. It gets a 5.3 on the IMDb, I gave it a 6 because it's better than a 5. I bought the DVD from Hamilton Books sight unseen, glad I did, I'd watch it again sometime.

Polterheist 2018 Written by David Gilbank, Gemma Head and Paul Renhard, directed by David Gilbank.

Boxy and Tariq are a couple of lowlifes that work for Frank. They collect money from the gang's drug dealers, money Frank has been stealing. Frank's boss Uday wants that money, he's going to kill Boxy and Tariq if they don't show up with the cash in four days. The problem is Boxy just killed Frank, he was holding Frank's head underwater to make him spill where the money is and things got out of hand.

The pair get the idea to kidnap a medium who can supposedly talk to the dead. She can find out from Frank where the money is. Frank takes over the woman's body and leads the pair on a chase for the cash. It doesn't go so well for Boxy and Tariq but the medium gets away with a nice payout.

It's violent and humorous. I thought it was better than the 4.2 it gets on the IMDb. That's been screwed with by the voters, 16% voted it a 10 and 18% voted it a 1. There's complaints in the comments about the reviews. I'd watch it again.

Pastor Shepherd 2010

Pastor Shepherd 2010 Written by Ben Going and Matthew F Perry, directed by Edwin L Marshall.

It's a low budget silly comedy that is pretty entertaining in a low key way. It's part road trip with the main character taking his nearly catatonic mother out for  some excitement. Joining them are his neighbor and his attractive daughter. Danny Trejo plays the neighbor.

 

The only person in the cast that has some audience draw is Danny. Not surprising that they put him on the poster, his wielding a bat is pretty misleading, people are going to expect some sort of action film. It's mostly chatter and character development. I enjoyed it and would watch it again sometime but who knows when. You can check it out on YouTube, link above.

The House With The Clock In Its Walls 2018

The House With The Clock In Its Walls 2018 Based on the John Bellairs novel of the same name, screenplay by Eric Kripke, directed by Eli Roth.

Ten year old Lewis goes to live with his Uncle Jonathan in New Zebedee Michigan. Uncle Jonathan lives in a big old mansion that could easily be mistaken for a haunted house. The man who lived there previously was a warlock and Uncle J is one too. UJ's best friend Florence Zimmerman is a witch and she lives next door.

Lewis breaks the big rule in the house and open the locked vault and steals the magical book he finds. He uses a spell in the graveyard to impress a friend but it only revives the dead warlock Isaac who used to live in the house. Isaac returns home to unleash the deadly clock he'd hidden in the walls of the house. It will turn back time so he can live without the annoying humans he's come to dislike so.

It was fun and there was usually something going on most of the time. I was happy to have seen it and I'll want to watch it again someday.

Early Man 2018

Early Man 2018 Story by Mark Burton and Nick Park, screenplay by Mark Burton and James Higginson, directed by Nick Park.

An Aardman Animation project about cavemen and soccer. I got the Blu-ray cheap somewhere, that was a couple of years or so ago. Today I picked it out of the pile of unwatched discs and took a look. There were some jokes and plenty of physical action but the story was way uninteresting. I kind of liked the cavemen but didn't much care for the soccer. Pretty standard underdog sports team stuff. Not my cup of tea but I still gave it a 6, it does look nice, it has a decent message. Sadly for Aardman the film didn't do very good at the box office, barely making $54 mil on a $50 mil budget.