PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Sword Of Vengeance 2015

Sword Of Vengeance is a 2015 British film set in 1066. It's dark, dirty and filled with stabbing and bashing. Nothing much to recommend it for, there's way too much of that quick cut fighting for me and when that isn't going on there's plenty of slow motion. Nearly everyone's covered in mud and most of them die. Lucky for me the Blu-ray was only a buck at the local Dollar Tree. Quarterly they have batches of DVDs and BRs in for the deal of the week. Most of the movies are a few years old and often not that great. Like this one.

Batman - Return Of The Caped Crusaders 2016

Batman - Return Of The Caped Crusaders is a 2016 animated version of the 1960s Batman live action TV series. Adam West, Burt Ward and Julie Newmar are voicing their characters. The Joker, Penguin, Riddle and Catwoman gang up on the dynamic duo. The villains get the upper hand and Robin has his hands full with a sick Batman. It was fairly entertaining and something I would watch again.

Hellboy 2019 - Making of featurette

I watched the three part making of featurette on the Hellboy Blu-ray. It was entertaining and there were lots of cast and crew commenting on the making of the movie. I hardly watch these making of shorts anymore but I was curious about the Hellboy behind the scenes. Mike Mignola says he thinks this is the closest adaptation of his comics. I sure agree and it makes me sadder that they probably won't come back for a sequel. I would have liked to see a commentary int he extras, it's just the featurette.

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Incredibles 2 came out in 2018 but I hadn't seen it. I hadn't even picked up a copy. It's written and directed by Brad Byrd. I enjoyed it for the most part, thought it was a bit too long and I didn't like the annoying son. We all like the scene with the racoon.

I didn't care much for Space Raiders, a 1983 Roger Corman production when I first saw it in 2004. The Blu-ray looks much better than the copy I saw on YouTube but it's still not much of a movie. It's written and directed by Howard R Cohen who's also responsible for writing some crap like Deathstalker, Stryker, Vampire Hookers and The Care Bears Family. He directed 5 other films but I can't say I've watched any of the others. I won't be needing a copy of Space Raiders.

Danny's Doomsday 2014

Danny's Doomsday is a Danish monster movie from 2014. Danny lives in a small town where some monsters come calling. They are man eating lizard like critters that run real fast. Somehow created by global warming. Hope they come here soon, keep my mind off the rainy days.

Danny collects some other students and they run about, eventually they get rescued by the military. It was alright, nothing to exciting. I saw it on Amazon Prime but I wouldn't bother buying a DVD.

Tad The Lost Explorer And The Secret Of King Midas 2017

Tad The Lost Explorer And The Secret Of King Midas is the second Tad Jones movie and it came out in 2017. It's a Spanish animation about a guy who works construction while going to University to be an archeologist. The mummy from the first movie comes for a visit, the tribe threw him out, and that starts a big adventure looking for King Midas necklace. It'll give the wearer the ability to turn stuff to gold. A villain his his eyes on that necklace. There's plenty of running about and yelling. The scenery is nice and the characters fun enough. Glad to have found the two movies. I'll watch them again someday.

Tad The Lost Explorer 2012

I found Tad The Lost Explorer on the clearance shelf and thought it might be fun. Turns out the movie is made in Spain and released there as Las aventuras de Tadeo Jones. Enrique Gato is the director and there are a passel of writers.

Tad is a construction workers who dreams of being archaeologist. He's pals with a professor at the local museum. The professor is to travel to Peru to deliver an artifact but gets knocked out and Tad goes in his place. The pretty gal is the professor's daughter Sara. The parrot is her pal, Tad has a cute little dog. There's the usual sort of villain, that artifact leads to treasure, and he provides some danger.

Tad and Sara get chased and kidnapped and taken to a secret pyramid filled with ancient living mummies. There's plenty of running about and yelling. Tad and Sara get some help from a guide and the head of the living mummies. I enjoyed it enough to search out the sequel and order that.

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First up Holy Flame Of The Martial World, a 1983 Shaw Brothers picture. It's a comedic fantasy adventure filled with wire work and vengeance. Sui Chin Mok is 18 and that's the number of years ago his parents were killed. Little does he know that he's got a sister, they were separated when their parents were killed. The 2 are raised in the martial arts world and they're destined to fight a grudge match when they're 18. There's plenty of fighting, flying through the air and special effects. Philip Kwok plays the master who raises Mok, he's got a powerful ghost laugh that's like turning on a Ritter Fan and throwing a much of stuff in front of it. It's all pretty goofy but fun. While looking for a poster picture I looked on Amazon and the DVD is going for 110 smackaroonies. That's some crazy shit.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween came out in 2018 and all the monsters on Halloween are coming to life. Some kids get hold of the ventriloquist dummy called Slappy the Dummy and Slappy works his magic on Tesla's Wardenclyffe Tower to bring the monsters to life. What a dick dummy. A trio of kids has to save their families and the rest of the town. There's plenty of running about and screaming, some jokes of various quality, and some nice monsters and effects. Jack Black isn't quite as present as the first movie. It was fun enough but I wouldn't pick one up unless it was clearance cheap.

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Don't Kill It is a 2016 Dolph Lundgren movie. It's a bit of a comedy horror thing, Dolph's a demon hunter, he's been keeping a demon in a flask since he was a boy. He tossed it into the Mississippi bayou before the movie starts but in the opening scene some dog finds the flask. The demon escapes and takes over the dog. It puts the bite on the owner, who kills the dog, then the demon jumps to the man. It always jumps to the person or critter that killed it's host. Dolph's father poisoned himself and killed the host. His dad's dying body weakened the demon. When his father died Dolph was able to put the escaping bit of the demon into a metal flask. Once the dog owner gets home, there are all sorts of homicides. The local officials can't get their head around 3 triple homicides so the FBI sends an agent who had been run out of the same town by superstitious yokels when she was a child. She died and returned from the dead. People were upset somehow. Dolph thinks she's the good equivalent of the demon. The demon takes a liking to her, knowing the power that capturing a good soul will bring him. Now we've got everyone running about the town and the body count keeps mounting. It's pretty much a hunting demons movie with some comedy. It was enjoyable enough, I'd watch it again, but doubt I'd buy one. Who knows if I'd ever get back to it. I have literally thousands of movies to watch.

I probably wouldn't get back to Get Mean, a 1975 Italian Spaghetti Western, even if I had a copy. It's near the end of popularity for the SW and I suppose to jazz up the genre a bit they've thrown in everything they could that didn't belong in a SW. Tony Anthony takes on a job of transporting a Spanish noble woman to Spain. There they run into barbarians, Moors, an effete sidekick and a Shakespeare loving hunchback. After seeing it I began to wonder what went on in the head of the screenwriter. Tony Anthony wrote the story that was adapted by Wolfe Lowenthal and Lloyd Battista. Ferdinando Baldi is the director and I'm wondering what the hell he was thinking when he turned in the finished film. I wish it had more, and better, jokes. I found the music annoying as fuck too.

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Aquaman up first. Like a lot of the superhero movies, it was kind of fat and bloated, sure could have used some trimming. I doubt I would bother with it again.

Aswang is a 1994 horror film about a poor girl who decides to sell her baby to a creepy guy. He won't inherit his mother's fortune unless he has a child. Turns out the reality is more hideous than that. It was called The Unearthing when it came out on video in the US years ago. An Aswang is a mythical creature from the Philippines. It eats unborn children. You can see where this is going, huh. You can see the whole movie in the link above. It was alright but nothing great. I wouldn't need to pick up the DVD anytime soon. Which is fine, it's out of print and the price is crazy on Amazon.