We watched a movie and it's sequel tonight, not something that happens that often. The first movie was Dear God No! and it came out in 2011. It's a low budget Indy film written and directed by James Bickert. I hadn't seen any of the direct to video movies he's done already, though you can see his 2000 film Dumpster Baby on YouTube.
Dear God No! is about a gang of murderin', rapin' bikers, called the Impalers, who have a new policy of leaving no witnesses during their crimes. That kid in the picture, he couldn't outrun a bullet. The Impalers scumbag ways cause such a stir in the area, hardly anyone likes nuns getting raped and murdered, that the head of the local biker association tries to reign them in. Two of the Impalers are his sons and they decide to stab their Dad as an answer to his request that they cool it. That pisses off the local biker gangs and they're on the trail of the Impalers.
After a series of fights the Impalers take over the cabin of a ex-Nazi mad scientist who has an interest in mutations. He's got one in his basement. It's a mighty Sasquatch like beast that rips the head off everyone he meets, unless he tears them in two. The bikers had hoped for a quiet place to hole up, maybe have a bit of rape and murder, but they get a monster that beats their asses.
It's not a great movie but mostly it was entertaining. There's a bit of it that gets fairly nasty as the bikers rape a pregnant woman and rip out her baby. It just underscores the need to rip the heads off those scummy bikers. There's a fairly good sense of humor and some good gore. The script is fairly good and Bickert captures the look and feel of a 70s biker film well enough. I could use less of the fake film damage that is applied to the film. It's quick moving and doesn't flag too often. I was happy to have seen it but it's sure not for everyone.
Sadly the 2016 sequel, Frankenstein Created Bikers, is a bloated, ponderous behemoth that needs some editing. At 125 minutes it's a good half hour way too long. It slows down so much at times that the movie seems like it's 3 hours. The story picks up where the first movie ends. The ex-Nazi Mad Scientist didn't die from the hail of bullets and his burning house collapsing on him. He manages to resurrect nearly everyone from the first movie but things aren't going to well. Everyone's mad at everyone and they stop the movie to complain to each other. That part of the dialog was sure poor, all the good will from the first film was squandered by the tedious characters yakkin' away. At least he didn't add all the fake film damage. In the 5 years between films writer director James Bickert has improved in his ability to put images on screen but his writing has suffered. He needed someone to tell him it's way too long and uninteresting. After awhile a lot of the characters sounded the same. Too bad, I liked that first movie well enough to consider the Blu-ray of FCB, it has the first movie as a bonus, but the lack of fun in FCB has put me off. I'll settle for the copy of DGN! that's on YouTube right now. You can find it in the link above but beware it's not for the squeamish. Both movies are the kind of movies that are going to offend someone.
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