PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Iceland 1942

I ordered Iceland from the library for no other reason than some of my ancestors came from there. It's a 1942 musical comedy with Sonja Henie, John Payne, Jack Oakie and Sammy Kaye and his orchestra. John and Jack are US Marines posted to Iceland during the war. It's got a script by Robert Ellis and Helen Logan with H Bruce Humberstone directing. 

John flirts with Sonja and accidentally makes the family think he wants to marry her. He spends most of the movie trying to get out of the arrangement. There's other complications with the unwed younger sister and Sonja's previous beau, played by Sterling Holloway. There's musical numbers, some on ice. I didn't find it more than average and I fast forwarded through most of the music bits. I can't waste time on that sort of thing. Not something I would need to buy for my collection. Others may like it more.

Up In Central Park 1948

Up In Central Park is a 1948 musical film that offers up Boss Tweed's criminal life and downfall. I watched it because it's got Vincent Price in it. He's Boss Tweed. It's based on a Broadway musical, the screenplay was adapted by producer Karl Tunberg and William A Seiter is the director. Of the rest of the cast, I knew Dick Haymes, Deanna Durbin and Thurston Hall.

Deanna is naive Irish girl named Rosie, she comes to New York with her father. Right off the boat the father gets picked up to vote in the election. He's getting paid $2 a vote to fill in for the bedridden and the deceased. After all, they need a voice. Since he cast 23 votes during the day, the father gets invited to the Boss's big victory party, and it's there that Tweed thinks Rosie might have heard him getting up some graft on the reno of Central Park. Boss Tweed appoints the father to be the new Park Superintendent.

It takes a while for Rosie and her father to figure out who's the baddie, these Irish folk seem mighty dim. Rosie falls for Boss Tweed, even though he's married. Her father figures it out sooner than Rosie and he works with a reporter after Tweed to re-educate her in the truth. Then Boss is on the run and things are hopefully better in Big Apple. I thought the songs were boring and the idea of the story stupid. It least there are less songs in the movie. Not one I'm going to need to pick up.

The Breaking Point 1950

The Breaking Point is a 1950 film with John Garfield. It's based on the Ernest Hemingway story that was adapted by Ranald MacDougall and Michael Curtiz is the director. I borrowed the new Criterion DVD from the library.

John is the captain of a sport fishing boat, he's married to Phyllis Thaxler and they have a couple of girls. They also have some money troubles, business has been bad of late, and he owes on his boat. He gets an offer to do some illegal work and that starts his downward spiral. Eventually everything climaxes with John on his boat with a gang of race track robbers.

Besides John and Phyllis, we've got Patricia Neal, Juano Hernández, Wallace Ford, William Campbell and Victor Sen Yung in the cast. It's a nice gritty story with some good characters and a good bit of sadness. I liked it quite a bit and am contemplating buying the Blu-ray.

One Eyed Monster 2008

Even if One-Eyed Monster isn't that good it's got Ron Jeremy and his penis. It's a 2008 horror comedy that was written by Jordan, Scott and Adam Fields and directed by Adam. While Adam is more of a composer, he did direct this film and three previous shorts. Neither Adam or Scott have any IMDb credits past 2008. Jordan is a producer on Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return.

Besides Ron Jeremy, the only other cast members I know are Charles Napier, Amber Benson and Veronica Hart. Charles has been in so much stuff over the years, Veronica is a 70's and 80's porn star, and Amber you might remember from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

Ron is part of a group of porn actors going to a remote mountain side cabin to do some filming. Ron and Veronica are the old pros, all the others are new to the game. There's a bit of a crew there, director, producer, cameraman, sound guy, and a gaffer. Amber does the make up and acts as script girl. 

During Ron's scene he goes out to take a whiz. Outside he sees a shooting star which then zaps him. During the scene Ron's cock runs off and he goes into a coma, then dies. The cock chases the cast and crew around until Charles Napier arrives. He'd had a run in with a similar cock in 'Nam and he's been holed up in the mountains ever since. A bunch of people get drilled to death before subduing the deadly member. It ends with a big question.

It's got some humor, not much nudity, and a big penis monster. It was OK but not much better than average. I would only recommend to the big hoprror fan who wants to see it all.

Fright Night 2: New Blood 2013

Fright Night 2: New Blood is a 2013 horror film that's less a sequel and more of a remake of the 2011 Fright Night and the 1995 Fright Night. They all share a bit of a similar plot. Dumb ass kid up against a powerful vampire. It's a fantasy, the kid wins. This one is written by Matt Venne and directed by Eduardo Rodriguez.

Ed, Charley and Amy are students on a student exchange trip to Romania. Amy was Charlie's girlfriend, she broke it off because she thinks Charley was cheating on her. Charley's heartbroken and Ed is a dick. Charley sees a woman in a window across the street from his hotel. She in underwear kissing another woman in underwear. Then there's blood dripping down her back.

Turns out that the woman in her underwear is the Professor giving lectures on Romanian culture to the exchange students. Charley sees her with a female student later and in the AM the girl is missing. That evening Charley sees her drive off with a big student sized bundle. Charley gets too close to the vampire lady and things get dicey for him and Amy. Poor Ed couldn't be more fucked if he was wearing a red shirt on the away party on Star Trek.

There's some nice scenes of Romania and there's plenty of running about and yelling, some biting, some stunts and some dumb ass students. They aren't so smart, mixing it up with a vampire, and only through sheer luck do some survive. I thought it was OK but I liked the local scenery. As a horror movie it's barely average. It scores a 4.3 on the IMDb which I think is from the lack of anything new going on. They did change Dracula to a woman but who cares. I still like the original film the best of the three. At least there were ladies in their underwear.

Science Fiction Sunday 477

The Last Days On Mars is a 2013 SF movie about some scientists on Mars. One of them breaks the rules and becomes infected with a mars virus or some such. It reanimates the dead. This all happens 19 hours from the time they are to go home after their six month stint. It's a countdown to see who gets to live and who gets to die. Other than being on Mars it's pretty much what you'd expect. It's about average, I gave it a 5 on the IMDb because it's so predictable and familiar.

After that I watched the next 3 movies in the 12 Movie Sci-Fi Pack I started last Sunday. None of these are any much good.

Parts Per Billion is a 2014 film about a virus that kills everyone. We follow around some people. I found it tedious and got bored pretty quickly. It's got a nice cast, Frank Langella, Gena Rowlands, Rosario Dawson and Josh Hartnett. It's kind of too much of a drama and it's totally depressing. Everyone dies. I wouldn't want to watch it again, let alone the first time. That's kind of an SF idea but it's buried in the drama.

Ninja Apocalypse is a 2014 post apocalypse movie that people are saying is a ripoff of The Warriors. They've certainly used that script as a template, big rally, assassination of the leader, blame the Lost Clan, chase them to their home base. It all takes place underground but it's the same idea, just with swords and some magical ninja powers. Sadly, it's nowhere near as good as The Warriors. Watch that instead. It's so much better. More fantasy than SF.

Sharks In Venice is a 2008 movie about a lost Medici treasure and chompy sharks in the canals of Venice. There's a good guy and his girlfriend against a baddie who wants the treasure. Unfortunately the man eating sharks in the water offer up a hindrance to the treasure. Stephen Baldwin is the only actor I knew in the cast. Other than the nice shots of Venice there isn't much going on with this one. Not much SF to it.

Friday Night Movies 669

Rabu & Pisu is a 2015 Japanese film called Love & Peace in the US. It's written and directed by Sion Sono and it took two decades to get to the screen. It's a comedy drama with annoying musical interludes featuring Japan pop music. A pathetic salaryman is bullied by his co-workers and boss. He has no friends so he buys a turtle. When he takes it to work his co-workers pick on him when they find out. He flushes the turtle down the toilet. Why wouldn't he take it home?

Well, there's a magical Santa in the sewer that gives abandoned toys and pets a place to live. He feeds them magical candy so they can talk. At the end of the year he restarts their lives by turning the pets into babies and making the toys new in the box. Santa gives the turtle a talking candy but it turns out to be a wishing candy. The salaryman wishes he was a pop star and that happens because he's still connected to the turtle. Salaryman accidentally hooks up with a band and then proceeds to turn into a big, full of himself, prick as he gets more famous. This all happens in a short time period, a few weeks maybe. The wishes in turn make the turtle larger. Eventually the turtle gets so big he's giant monster size. Sadly, there isn't enough giant monster action.

It's telling that Sono picked Babe: Pig In The City as his choice for the London Film Festival in 2014. While the films aren't similar in story they share a big colorful surreal sentimentally driven reality where animals talk, have adventures, and learn life lessons. I have to admit I liked Babe: Pig In The City much better. I did like the sewer bound Santa stuff in Love & Peace quite a bit, the use of physical puppets and real dogs was nice, but I didn't care at all for Salaryman's story. He's just a weak man who can't stand up for himself, and after he grows a pair, he's a selfish cunt. Who needs that? Typically, I'm on the outside looking in here, other's like the movie much more than me. It scores a 6.9 on the IMDb, I'd give it a 6 but only for the surreal Santa and his sewer of misfit toys. I'm not going to need a copy now that I've seen it.

Jack-O is a 1995 film by Steve Latshaw, it's one of three Steve films on a new Retromedia DVD compilation set with Dark Universe and Biohazard: The Alien Force. All three are produced by Fred Olen Rey. The film originally went straight to VHS, there was a 2005 Image DVD and more recently this 3 film compilation.

Fred was one of the three writers on Jack-O. You'd have thought with three brains they might have a better script. Nope, it's below average for some reason. Still, that goes with the below average production values. Fred's a guy who never had enough money to make a great film. He takes what he's got and does what he can.

The movie is about a wizard who curses the families of the men who killed him. This happened a couple of generations back and in modern day the Jack-O character is that vengeance made solid. It comes with it's scythe, loppin' heads and stabbin' guts, in the dark of night. A kid eventually defeats him on Halloween. Linnea Quigley is the only actor in the lot I knew. The rest of the cast are poor to fair. Jack-O gets a 2.9 on the IMDb and that ain't far wrong.

Fred and Steve do a commentary Jack-O and someone has posted it on YouTube. I have to say I often like Fred's commentaries more than the movies he's made. There are commentaries for the other two films and it's enough to make me interested in the set but I doubt I'll bother with it at 15 bucks on Amazon.

Sanatorium 2013

Sanatorium is a 2013 horror movie about a ghost hunter show. They visit a closed sanatorium that had a killing in it years before. A patient escaped his ward, broke  into the children's ward, and killed three kids. The place is shut down but they get someone to take them around the place. Personally, I think these ghost shows are the bunk, I can't stand watching them for more than a minute or so. I found this movie kind of boring for the most part. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, pretty much.

The Black Torment 1964

The Black Torment is a British horror film from 1964. It's got a script from Derek Ford and Donald Ford with Robert Hartford-Davis directing. Sir Richard returns to his family home with his new bride. The villagers aren't too friendly to him. There's been a rape and murder in the village and the young woman died shouting Sir Richard's name. He was in London at the time so he knows it's not him. There's some other odd things happening and his new wife is bothered. Sir Richard is puzzled for a while but he eventually figures out what's going on. It was alright. I doubt I'd pick up a copy now that I've seen it.

Travel Man 48 Hours In...

Fans of Richard Ayoade's Travel Man 48 Hours In... series will like that a big rash of them have appeared on YouTube in the last week and a bit. Each episode has Richard and some guest visit a city and see some sights. Occasionally they eat weird things. I enjoy the comedy and the locations.Don't know how long they will be posted to YouTube but act sooner than later, that's my advice.