Arachnoquake is a 2012 disaster movie that has imaginary spiders from the center of the earth. They don't look anything like the spiders in the poster above. The story is by Eric Forsberg, the script is by Paul A Birkett, the director is Griff Furst. He's the son of Stephen Furst. The only movie of his I've seen is Lake Placid 3.
The movie is set in New Orleans where earthquakes have damaged the ground, leaving huge holes in the roads, starting fires in the city, and releasing man eating spiders of various sizes. Bug Hall is a tour guide in charge of a cute little tram. That's his real life name. His movie sister and father are on a boat on the river. Both groups encounter killer spiders. There's plenty of chasing and being bitten. Often people break out in a big pusy sore that explodes.
Edward Furlong is the only one in the cast that I knew. He's got to drive a bus load of cheerleaders out of danger, he crashes the bus but they get rescued by some soldiers. Edward's wife in the film is a 6th grade biology teacher, she autopsy's one of the critters and figures out what inside the beasts. There's no real need for the info, stomping and bullets kill off most of the spiders. I guess it fills time and adds some gore value.
There's a real sloppiness to the movie. In one scene the tour bus stops at an intersection for a bit of business, it's facing an area we can't see, there are buildings on it's left and right. In the overhead shot it's in the middle of a street with a huge park on it's right side. We never see the park in any of the ground shots. Too costly for a continuity person I guess. There's more of that lazy film making going on, near the end one guy keeps commenting on what's going on, he spots Bug in his diving suit but Bug's face is obscured by the gear, that guy wouldn't have any way of knowing who that was just by seeing him. The movie isn't keeping my interest if I keep noticing all the mistakes. I suppose many of the viewers on SyFy wouldn't care. I don't either, what a crappy movie, way below average. I gave it a generous 2.
Phoenix: The Warrior is another dip into the post-apocalypse genre. Unlike last weeks highly entertaining Turbo Kid, P:TW fails to elevate the PA film in any possible way. The movie is also known as She-Wolves Of Wasteland. It came out in 1988 and it was directed by Robert Hayes who co-wrote the script with Dan Rotblatt. Kathleen Kimmont plays Phoenix, she's one of the many women left after whatever happened happened. Men are scarce. She helps a runaway escape from Persis Khambatta. She works for an evil boss lady who experiments on people. Persis is her enforcer, she heads a gang of poorly clad ladies with guns. There's nothing good about the movie, it's a boring slog through all the junk yards and gravel pits in and around Riverside California. The Mojave Desert is nice but even that they manage to make dull. It's not worth a look, go watch the Turbo Kid. Fuck this piece of shit.
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