PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 923

Seobok Project Clone 2021 Written and directed by Lee Yong-ju.

Seobok is a new species of human created by cloning and genetic manipulation. The process gave Seobok some mental powers but the companies goal is to tap into his bodily fluids and use that to create a longevity serum.

Seobok becomes the pawn of the old man who runs the company and one of the people in the intelligence agency who wants to sell Seobok to the Americans. Stuck in the middle is an ex-agent of the intelligence agency called Min who's supposed to get Seobok to his new digs. The transport is attacked by mercenaries and Min and Seobok go on the run. There's some fish out of water stuff and some gun fights along the way to the end of the movie. The factions interested in Seobok battle it out until most everyone is dead.

It's a longish movie, 115 mins, and it takes a while to get going. There's a few action scenes along the way but at it's core it raises questions of ethics in medicine. Is it OK to create a human clone for the purpose of harvesting it's biomass for medicine like an insulin pig and is it OK to kill everyone who opposes your plans. I enjoyed it for the most part but would have enjoyed it more if they had picked up the pace a bit. It's not going to get added to my library unless it's a free download which I probably wouldn't ever get around to again.

The Munsters 2022 Written and directed by Rob Zombie.

It's the Munster's origin story. A mad scientist puts Herman together and sends him out into the world. Herman gets some success as a comedian and meets Lily Gruesella and her father the Count. They get married and Lily's brother Lester tricks Herman into giving away the family castle to the Count's ex-wife. Herman, Lilly and the Count move to Hollywood, winding up at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

There's plenty of gags and slapstick, all briskly paced to keep the story moving. Some of them work well, other's pratfall. I got plenty of laughs from it and will eventually pick up the Blu-ray so I can watch it again someday. I need to re-watch the original show, I haven't seen much of it for years and years.

Friday Night Movies 920

Valley Of The Dead 2020 Based of the novel Noche de difuntos del 38 by Manuel Martín Ferreras, screenplay by Jaime Marques Olarreaga, Alberto Fernández Arregui and Cristian Conti, directed by Javier Ruiz Caldera and Alberto de Toro. Original Spanish title Malnazidos.

It's Spain in 1938, the Spanish Civil War is going on and stink of Nazis is everywhere. The Nazis arrive in a small town while there's a wedding going on. The Nazis kill all the people in the town square. They dump some blue powder on the bodies and take off.

The tall guy with the mustache in the poster is in a bit of trouble, luckily his uncle saves him from the firing squad at the last minute. He's sent on a mission to deliver a message to a general in a bad area. He takes a short cut and runs into a Nazi roadblock. He bullies his way into the area and gets caught by the enemy just as the Nazi experiment fires up a horde of murderous zombies. A small group locals with mixed political and religious views have to pull together to fight off the dead scum.

The group makes their way out of the valley but they're hindered by the rapidly growing zombie pop. One by one most of the characters fall, often with a nice bit of personal glory. It's got a nice bunch of characters and the script gives us just enough of their story before moving along.

There's a great variety of fighting and plenty of explosions. The CGI head shots are a bit samey but some of the other bits of action are well done. It's a 102 mins and it doesn't seen over padded or stogy. I'd be happy to watch it again.

Army Of The Dead 2021  Story by Zack Snyder, screenplay by Zack Snyder, Shay Hatten and Joby Harold, directed by Zack Snyder.

A zombie heist film set in Las Vegas in the near future. A military transport accident released the original zombie and it quickly took over Las Vegas. The army fought them and then walled in the city and left them alone. Six years later it's decided to nuke the place.

Before the big bomb boom an ex-soldier gets asked to sneak into Las Vegas and steal $200,000,000. He can have a quarter to split with his team. Dave Bautista plays the ex-soldier, he doesn't want to go but he wants the money to start a new life for him and his daughter. Moronically he lets his daughter go along on the heist.

Dave gathers a group of people, enters the city and meets up with the locals. There's a good bit of fighting and zombie killing. There's also a good bit of personal story, more than I cared for. It's a 140 min movie and rather indulgent. A good chunk of that run time could have been trimmed to create a leaner meaner movie. The CGI and physical effects are pretty good. I enjoyed the zombie tiger and zombie horse. Some money was spent, $70-90 million according to the Wikipedia. It didn't make any money at the Box Office, only a million smackaroonies from it's short theatrical release. It was popular on Netflix when it appeared there.

There's nothing new here, some guys fighting zombies in areas that look liked video games. I was bored with the dull parts, especially all the character back story. Snip! Snip! I wasn't sorry to have seen it but I wouldn't bother with it again.

Friday Night Movies 916

The King's Man 2021 Based on the comic series The Secret Service by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, story by Matthew Vaughn, screenplay by Matthew Vaughn and Karl Gajdusek, directed by Matthew Vaughn. We watched the 4K version and it looked nice.

The movie is a prequel to the first two films. The story starts in 1902 with a visit to a concentration camp in South Africa by the Duke of Oxford. The Duke is shot in the leg during an attack by a Boer sniper. The Duke's wife Emily is killed and the Duke's son Conrad saw his mother die. The story jumps ahead 12 years and the Duke has created a private spy network using the servants of the powerful.

Conrad wants to go to war but the Duke tries to stop him. He's not successful and Conrad is mistakenly killed by a soldier in the British Army. There's a mysterious Scottish man who runs a secret organization from the plateau on a mountain in some remote location. He's a guy who needs killing.

There's a fair bit of action but the story is dark and bleak, I didn't care for it as much as the previous two films. I'll watch those again someday and give the third a miss. I did like the cast in it. Good choices. It's a bit ponderous, a nice trim would not be a miss, a good Kingsman movie might be salvaged out of there.

Voyage Of The Rock Aliens 1984 Written by Edward Gold and James Guidotti, directed by James Fargo and Bob Giraldi. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray.

It's a SF musical comedy with Pia Zadora playing Dee Dee. Some aliens make a stop at planet Earth and get involved with Dee Dee and the local musical scene. Dee Dee's boyfriend Frankie has a gang and a band, they are the same guys. Frankie doesn't want Dee Dee to sing with him, he's mostly a dick. The aliens prove to be a match for Frankie in a battle of the bands.

Pia does a lot of songs, some of which were from her newest album. A music video duet with Pia and Jermaine Jackson was shot in Italy. It wasn't shot for the film but the producer's worked it into the opening. It's supposed to take place on a distant planet the alien's are visiting. Knowing that explains why Pia seems to be on two planets.

There's way too many songs and the story is really goofy. James Guidotti's original screenplay was a spoof of B-movies. The Wikipedia says:

"It's a little like sitting home and watching TV late on a Saturday night, all the while switching channels from 5 to 9 to 11 and to 13," Guidotti explained. "On channel 5 they're airing an old Beach Party movie; on 9 one about alien invaders; on 11 a film about a mad, homicidal maniac on the loose; and on 13 a rock 'n roll program." When Guidotti's script was spotted by executives at the production company Inter Planetary Curb, Vice President of Development Edward Gold and consultant Charles Hairston polished the script, turned it into a musical, and the film went into production under the title Attack of the Rock 'n' Roll Aliens.

I might have enjoyed that movie more than what we watched. There's plenty of jokes but many fall flat. I still enjoyed watching it, especially after the downer we just watched, but I didn't feel I needed to invest in a copy. You can test drive it on YouTube. You might like it.

Friday Night Movies 914

Border 2018 Based on the short story of the same name by John Ajvide Lindqvist, screenplay by Ali Abbasi, Isabella Eklöf and John Ajvide Lindqvist, directed by Ali Abbasi. John's horror story collection is also home to the story that became the film Let The Right One In. No vampires in this film but there are plenty of other creatures in Swedish mythology.

A Swedish fantasy film about a woman with a secret. She meets a man with the same secret and discovers more about her past. You can get some idea what it's about from the trailer above. There's a good script with a good cast to bring it to life. I'm glad to have talked myself into picking up the Blu-ray. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone but there will be those that appreciate it.

The Contractor 2022 Written by JP Davis and directed by Tarik Saleh.

A decent looking film with a poorly written story about a guy I wouldn't want to spend any time with. The 30 minute opening act is so tedious we were internet browsing, complaining to each other on the dullness and wishing, out loud, for something to happen. Interminable! (Imagine that in Wallace Shawn's voice.)

Chris Pine plays a Green Beret that gets tossed out of the service for taking steroids. Faced with money troubles before he gets tossed out, he's no clever monkey despite being a Green Beret, he joins up with a mercenary group. Ben Foster plays an old military buddy and Kiefer Sutherland plays the head of the group.

Chris goes on a mission to Berlin, spying on a scientist that he's told is working developing some sort of virus for some terrorists. Turns out the guy's got some sort of cure going on. Things go wrong during an extraction of the virus, Chris kills the scientist and burns his lab. They have a fire fight with the police and everyone is dead but Chris and Ben. Ben goes for help while Chris rests from his injured knee. Back in Berlin Chris is attacked by men Kiefer sent. He escapes and returns to the US to inflict some vengeance on Kiefer.

It stinks! Don't watch it. The action is only about fair and there's not that much of it. There's way too much back story with Chris's past and it's so poorly told I just want to smack everyone involved with the flaming skull of Paul Naschy. I didn't need to see it and I'm glad someone else paid Netflix to send it to them.

Friday Night Movies 909

Iron Mask 2019 Screenplay by Oleg Stepchenko, Dimitry Paltserv and Alexey A Petrukin, directed by Oleg Stepchenko. A Russian Chinese co-production that's a sequel to Forbidden Empire. Starring Jason Flemyng, Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rutget Hauer, Helen Yao and Charles Dance.

 

Titled Тайна печати дракона in Russian, the English translation is Viy 2: Journey To China. Titled 龙牌之谜 in Chinese which translates to The Mystery Of The Dragon Seal in English. It's called The Iron Mask or just Iron Mask in the US.

Jason is a cartographer who's mapping Europe, Russia and China. Along his route he helps a young man who turns out to be a Chinese Princess. Jackie is in prison in the Tower Of London with Tzar Peter I, Arnold is the Warden, he likes a punch up, anyone who beats him can go free. The Tzar escapes and winds up on a ship with Jason's wife. They are bound for China.

The Princess returns to her town to find an evil sorceress is posing as the Princess. There's a lot of leaping about and yelling to get that set right. There's plenty of nice scenery along the journey. It's a nice production but the dialog is kind of poor. I enjoyed the movie and hope they get to release the third film. It's supposed to come out in 2022 but nothing so far.

Amityville In Space 2022 Written and directed by Mark Polonia. Mark had directed over 70 pictures in the last 37 years. From the look of this one he hasn't learned how to make a good movie yet. He seems to be following The Asylum's business plan, make low budget horror movies, make a lot of them, don't worry that they aren't very good. I thought AIS was worse than some of The Asylum's poorer pictures. Mark's a big liar too, there's nothing in the movie that looks like that poster. There is a house in space, it's been exorcised from Earth. You can see it in the trailer in the title above. It's sad looking. Most of the effects are poor.

There's a space ship filled with spacemen and women who are traveling about the galaxy blowing up black holes with bombs. They spot the house near a black hole. A strange humanoid enters the ship and gives the human's hallucinations. A priest comes to help them and some of them live to escape.

We were joking about while watching, there was a complaint that I thought was quite valid, the film makers don't seem to take any steps, even baby ones, to make their movie better. We were coming up with all sorts of ways to improve scenes and ways that wouldn't increase the budget. Is Mark lacking imagination? Could be. I think he just didn't bother. I wouldn't bother watching the film again.

The Lost City 2021

The Lost City 2021 Story by Seth Gordon, screenplay by Oren Uziel, Dana Fox, Adam Nee and Aaron Nee, directed by Adan Nee and Aaron Nee.

Sandra Bullock is a romance writer and Channing Tatum is the cover model for her books. Daniel Radcliff is a rich guy who's insanely searching for a jeweled headdress called the Crown Of Fire. It's on an island in the Atlantic which has an active volcano. Daniel is sure the crown is there, he kidnaps Sandra and takes her there. He thinks she can find the crown but there aren't many clues available.

Channing hires Brad Pitt to help find Sandra. He finds her and they escape but he's shot in the head. Sandra and Channing have to go it alone and they just aren't ready for the jungle. There's lots of action and stunts and gunfire and explosions. Some of the baddies aren't getting their pensions.

Da'Vine Joy Randolph plays Sandra's publisher. She follows Dash to the island just in time to rescue them from the volcano. She was the most entertaining character in the movie for me, I didn't find Sandra or Channing as interesting. Daniel was a close second, he was so effective as a prick I wanted them to throw him in the volcano. I was disappointed.

Generally, I thought the movie was about average. I watched it on Amazon Prime, it's currently free, I was glad I didn't buy the Blu-ray sight unseen. Now I won't bother.

Friday Night Movies 906

Nobody 2021 Written by Derek Kolstad and directed by Ilya Naishuller.

Bob Odenkirk has a shit life until he runs into some scumbags on a bus. He beats some men nearly to death in some bone crunching action scenes. One of the badly damaged thugs is the younger brother of a Russian gang lord. That guy wants some payback, he sends his right hand man to Bob's house. Right hand man brings a few friends. Bob locks his family in the basement and kills most of the intruders before being tasered. Turns out Bob has a past life where he killed people. Bob escapes and goes after the Russian with a bit of help from his father and brother.

An entertaining story with a decent cast and a high body count. I like seeing the baddies get trashed. It starts a bit slow but once the action kicks in it's punch, bang, stab, boom all the way to the end. I'll want to watch it again.

Lethal Force 2001 Written, produced and directed by Alvin Ecarma. It's Alvin's only film and that's not surprising. It's not very good. There's a bad script, no actors, mediocre gore and piss poor action scenes. The only good thing about it was the running time, only 70 mins. Seemed longer. Not one I would need to see at all.

Love And Monsters 2020

Love And Monsters 2020 Story by Brian Duffield, screenplay by Brian Duffield and Matthew Robinson, directed by Michael Matthews.

A large asteroid is headed for the Earth, warheads are launched and the resultant fallout turns cold blooded critters into giant monsters. Ninety-five percent of the population is killed in a short while, survivors hold up best they can. We meet Joel when the trouble starts, he's 17 and in love with Aimee, they get separated and 7 years later Joel finds her again. She's in another colony and it's only 85 miles away from his colony. Joel decides he's going to visit Aimee, even though he's the least likely of anyone in the colony to survive in the outdoors.

Joel befriends a nice Australian Kelpie he calls Boy, then he runs into Clyde and Minnow. Lucky for Joel, they are seasoned surface travelers and decent people. They teach him some travel survival rules. There's a nice variety of large carnivorous beasties out there and they run into a good number of them. Clyde and Minnow toughen up Joel and improve his aim with a crossbow. When they separate he's much better at surviving. He gets to Aimee's colony only to find her colony in jeopardy.

I came to like Joel and Boy, they would make good traveling companions in the post-apocalypse world. There's a fair bit of action and a good bit of talking and walking. I liked the monsters, the CGI was quite good. The location shooting was quite nice to look at, they filmed in Australia, plenty of lush forest and beautiful beaches. I had fun watching it and that's the best thing I can say about it. I picked up the Blu-ray after seeing the crab scene, I'll want to watch this again. There's a couple of making of videos and some deleted scenes for extras.

Mortal Combat 2021

Mortal Combat 2021 Story by Oren Uziel and Greg Russo, screenplay by Greg Russo and Dave Callaham, directed by Simon McQuoid. Simon's first film, he's been making commercials.

Bigged up, fancier version of the previous films. More CGI effects and the characters have much flashier costumes and powers. I liked the first Paul WS Anderson film from 1995, the followup film was directed by John R Leonetti and it's just not as good.

There's some backstory and plenty of action. The action goes on and on until all the baddies are finished for now. Mostly entertaining bu nothing special going on. I found a copy on the Internet Archive but it's long gone. That saves me buying a copy of the disc. I don't see re-watching this anytime soon.

The Intergalactic Adventures Of Max Cloud 2020

The Intergalactic Adventures Of Max Cloud 2020 Written by Sally Collett and Martin Owen, directed by Martin Owen. A British movie that's a bit of a love letter to the the side scrolling video games of 30 years ago.

The young woman in the poster is Sarah, she's played by Isabelle Allen, she's a gamer who gets transported into the Max Cloud video game. She becomes Jake, the chef on Max's ship, he's the guy on the left side of the picture above, he's played by Elliot James Langridge. Max is the guy next to him, he's played by Scott Adkins, I just watched him in a movie last night. The cowboy looking guy is Brock Donnelly, he's a baddie played by Tommy Flanagan. The lady on the right is Sally Collett, she plays Rexy, like Sarah, she's been brought into the video game. John Hannah plays Revengor, he plays the boss that's got to be beat at the end of the game.

Sarah hopes that by winning she can get released from the game, the problem is she's only got one life, the game won't pause, and her pal Cowboy is playing for her. He's not a very good gamer and that nearly puts an end to poor Sarah. Don't worry she'll be fine. She gets some help from an unexpected source.

It's a pretty silly movie, while still being fairly clever. I liked the characters and the mix of live action and video game. A good bit of the action is depicted in game format but mostly it's live action on a set. The production values were fairly good and the sets entertaining, their cheapness fits the style of the period game. There are good number of gags, some were funny to me, some were less funny. I might not have gotten the joke, or they just weren't that good. They poke fun at heroes, sidekicks and gender roles in games. Those jokes were easy to get but some might have a dim view of them. The rating spread on the IMDb is kind of interesting. Just over a third of the votes are in the 5-7 range but it's overall score is only a 4.8, I think it should be higher than that. No matter, I still enjoyed it, I'd recommend it to the person who might like a video game parody. I'd even watch it again but doubt I'll buy the video. Maybe if it gets cheap enough, it's just fairly new.