PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Willy's Wonderland 2020

Willy's Wonderland 2020 Screenplay by G O Parsons and directed by Kevin Lewis. One of the executive producers listed is Adam Rifkin. He directed a couple of my favorite films, The Dark Backward and Invisible Maniac. Bill Pullman, Judd Nelson and Wayne Newton are absolutely brilliant in The Dark Backward.

Nicolas Cage is driving when his car runs over a stop strip left on the road. His tires blow. Lucky for him a tow truck stops and takes him to a garage in a tiny town. He gets charged $1250 for the tow and 4 new tires. They want the money up front and they don't take charge cards. The tow driver offers him a way to make some cash.

The job is cleaning Willy's Wonderland. It's one of those annoying places like Chucky Cheese where animatonic puppets sing for your supper. The man hiring him said it had some issues several years ago and had to close down, he wants to have it cleaned so he can reopen the place.

Nicolas agrees to clean for cash but what he doesn't know is he's locked in a restaurant that's filled with evil possessed puppets who desire to kill him. In another subplot some local teens try to rescue him from the puppets. The kids fall right through the roof and the slaughter begins.

It's pretty standard stuff but I enjoyed Nic kicking the ass of some supernaturally driven puppets. I got the Blu-ray for cheap so I can watch it again sometime.

Friday Night Movies 998

Mad Heidi 2022 Written by Sandro Klopfstein, Johannes Hartman and Gregory D Widmer, directed by Johannes Hartman and Sandro Klopfstein.

For the last 20 years Switzerland has been under the control of a dictator who makes cheese. It's against the law for anyone to make their own cheese, it's against the law to be lactose intolerant. Heidi's boyfriend gets caught making goat cheese and Heidi gets arrested for complaining about Kommandant Knorr killing her boyfriend. In jail Heidi is bullied by the other women, she breaks out and a gaggle of nuns take her in and train her to fight the fascists. It's all revenge to the end.

I thought it was a lot of fun. One of the viewers here said it was the best exploding head movie he'd ever seen. There's plenty of goopy bits and violent action. The sets and scenery are fun. I enjoyed the heck out of it and would want to watch it again.

The Cat Creeps 1946 Story by Gerald Geraghty, screenplay by Edward Dein, Jerry Warner and Gertrude Walker, directed b Erle C Kenton.

The last of the Universal horror titles to be shot. It was released on a double bill with She-Wolf Of London. Horror was failing to draw the patrons, The Brute Man was shot just before The Cat Creeps, it was sold to PRC to release.

The movie is an old dark house sort of story with a group of people on an island without a way to get home after their boat is burnt. An old lady in the house is attacked as the visitors arrive at the door. They are there to search for $200,000 in cash that was stolen in a robbery 15 years ago. Someone finishes off the old lady and another guy has a bad fall down the basement stairs. Now the rest of the visitors have to try to keep alive until they can be rescued.

There's a cast of decent character actors, Noah Beery Jr, Frederick Brady, Douglass Dumbrille, Jonathan Hale, Paul Kelly are the few I knew. The story is pretty standard stuff, it gives the cast something to do most of the time.  It's not great but it's got some jokes. I enjoyed it and I'd watch it again.

Friday Night Movies 981

Zerograd 1988 written by Karen Shakhnazarov and Alexander Borodyansky, directed by Karen Shakhnazarov. A Russian film that's also known as Zero City. We watched a nice Blu-ray from Deaf Crocodile..

A man goes to a town to visit a manufacturer who makes back covers for the air conditioners that his company sells. He has a very surreal time and meets some odd characters, including his father. The father kills himself because the man doesn't eat some of the father's cake. Now the man is involved with a death and the police are suspecting that it was murder. They won't let him leave the area. He wanders around interacting with the locals. Much of what happens pokes fun at Russian life.

Vinegar Syndrome sells the movie and their marketing material says it's a mix of Kafka, Agatha Christie and Monty Python. I could see why they say that. Parts of it are fascinating to look at, parts are confusing and parts are rather funny. I enjoyed it for the most part, there's a bit too much staring off into the distance for my liking, but I did have some laughs. It reminds me that I was lucky not to be born in Russia. I might want to watch the movie over but I'm not planning to buy the Blu-ray.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story 2022 Screenplay by Al Yankovic and Eric Appel, directed by Eric Appel.

A highly fictional version of Al's life. I thought some of it was hilarious, other parts less so. It started off strong but I though the last third was sort of weak. I liked Daniel Radcliffe as Al and I liked seeing Toby Huss as Al's father. Some might remember Toby from The Adventures Of Pete & Pete where he played Artie: The Strongest Man In The World.

Mostly it was fun and I got a few laughs out of it. Someone gave me the DVD and I plan to listen to the commentary on that at some point.

Sonic The Hedgehog 2020

Sonic The Hedgehog 2020 Written by Pat Casey and Josh Miller, directed by Jeff Fowler.

Jim Carrey is an evil scientist who needs stopping. Sonic the Hedgehog teams up with the local sheriff to take down Jim. They travel across country and have some adventures along the way.

It's noisy and very fast paced for the most part. I got a few laughs out of it. I might get around to watching it again.

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Sons Of Steel 1989 Written and Directed by Gary L Keady. An Australian musical post apocalypse film. Keady had written and directed a short film called Knightmare that was the basis for Sons Of Steel. That short was shown in theaters before David Lynch's Dune. That exposure lead to the feature being made.

Rob Hartley is Black Alice, he does most of the singing in the film. He gets involved with some crazy people who digitize him, he's freed over 100 years in the future where he has a bit of an adventure. There's not a whole lot of plot going on, the musical numbers eat up a lot of the 104 min run time. It's dark and gritty and heavily influenced by Max Headroom. There's even a badly rendered floating CGI head giving commentary. The acting ranges from decent to poor. I enjoyed it despite the little going on but it's not something that I'm going to need to watch again.

Final Cut 2022 Based on the Japanese film One Cut Of The Dead, written and directed by Michel Hazanavicius. Michel is the director of two OSS 117 films and The Artist. I really liked the OSS 117 films but have no interest in The Artist.

A French director is approached to direct a live TV remake of a Japanese zombie film. There's a film within the film thing going on. The crew in the film are making a zombie movie and the set gets invaded by real zombies. There's also the production company watching the film making on a monitor.

We first see the production as broadcast, there are some weird production choices that make the viewer wonder what's going on. Then we find out more about what happened behind the scenes. Typically the production is hampered by poor planning, accidents and the weak personal habits of the cast and crew. The only competent guy is the musician doing the background music, Jean-Pascal Zadi plays Fatih, he was entertaining. As things go wrong he has to change his music to fit the changed scenes. He's one of the few who can think on his feet.

I got a few laughs out of it but don't feel the need to buy the Blu-ray. You can see the original Japanese film on YouTube. I should check that out.

RIPD 2 - Rise Of The Damned 2022

RIPD 2 - Rise Of The Damned 2022 Written by Andrew Klein, Paul Leyden and Peter M Lenkov, directed by Paul Leyden. An American film that was shot in Hungary.

Jeffrey Donovan was the sheriff of a town when he was killed and got recruited by the RIPD. That's the Rest In Peace Department, they assign a handler, played by Penelope Mitchell, to guide Jeffrey on a mission. The pair appear to the locals as different people, since it's 1876 they appear as two black women.

They battle a baddie who wants to break down the barriers that keep the demons out of the Earth. There's plenty of shooting and fighting with a big body count.

It's not overly good, plenty of haters on the IMDb, but I got through the movie with a bit of a bit of speed control. I wasn't sorry I saw it, I usually enjoy Jeffrey Donovan but it might be a while before I get around to it again.

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Cocaine Bear 2023 Written by Jimmy Warden and directed by Elizabeth Banks.

The movie is set in 1985 and is inspired by a real life incident involving a drug smuggling ex-cop named Andrew C Thornton II. He dumped cocaine out of a small plane, jumped after it, and he got tangled up in his chute. He hit the hard and died with $15,000,000 worth of cocaine strapped to him. A black bear got into one of the other bags and died.

In the movie the bear lives. All sorted up the bear becomes hyperactive and cranky. The bear attacks the locals when they get in the way of his search for more blow. Ray Liotta plays the drug smuggler who needs to get that coke back. He sends his son and another guy to retrieve it. Ray follows them to Blood Mountain as a small group of other random people converge on the same spot. They encounter cocaine bear in the middle of his rampage and many don't survive the experience.

It's got a good cast and script. Nicely filmed and nice locations. Despite the decent body count it's most pretty broad and played for laughs. I laughed a lot and will want to see it again sometime.

Amphibious 2010 Story by San Fu Maltha and Somtow Sucharitkul, screenplay by John Penny and Brian Yuzna, directed by Brian Yuzna. Retitled as Deep Water on the French Blu-ray. Annoyingly the film had French subtitles that you couldn't shut off. It was the first film Brian had directed since 2005 and the second last film in his career. He hasn't made another film since the 2011 60 Seconds Of Solitude In The Year Zero.

Janna Fassaert is lady marine biologist who hires Michael Paré to take her out into a Sumatran lake to see if she can find some prehistoric life. Michael stops at a fishing stand to drop off some cash to a local smuggler. Of course Michael doesn't have the whole amount he should and that creates bad blood. The local police are on the side of the smuggler and offer to impound Michael's boat if he doesn't come up with the cash.

The smugglers have bought boys to work on the fishing platform and they mistreat them. While Jack was at the platform, a young boy named Tamal asks Janna to get him and his brother off the platform, she agrees to help but everyone, including the local police, tells her to leave it alone. While all this drama is playing out the platform is getting visits from a giant scorpion. One by one it picks off the men and boys and hardly anyone survives.

It get s a low score at the IMDb, a 3.4, though I thought it was a bit slow and had a weak script I thought it was a bit better than that, I gave it a 5. There's a poorish copy on YouTube, link above.

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Bullet Train 2022 Based on the novel Maria Beetle (Bullet Train) by Kōtarō, screenplay by Zak Olkewicz, directed by David Leitch. David hasn't directed a lot of films, he was mostly an actor and stuntman before moving into direction. At one point he was Brad Pitts stunt double in several films. John Wick was his first film, followed by Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2 and Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. I haven't seen any but John Wick yet. David's currently got a movie in post production based on the Lee Major's TV series The Fall Guy due out next year.

Brad Pitt plays Ladybug, he's an assassin who mostly works snatch and grab jobs, he's on the train to steal a briefcase filled with cash and gold. He's in communication with his handler Maria Beetle. Unbeknownst to them there are several other assassins and criminals on the train. There's a moderately good reason for each of them being there. The movie is pretty much a non-stop series of wild fist fights, blazing gun battles and noisy flashbacks. There's some flashback material that fill the viewer on the story.

It's pretty entertaining and quite violent. I got several laughs out of it, there's a lot of collateral damage and plenty of over the top shenanigans. I'd watch it again, lucky for me I bought the Blu-ray.

Val 2021 Written by Aaron Fradkin and Victoria Fratz, directed by Aaron Fradkin.

A dumb ass on the run from toe cops for a murder breaks into the big house of a $5000 an hour dominatrix who brings a world of pain into his life. We get a series of flashbacks to explain the story and things end poorly for the dumbass.

It's pretty darn talky and pretty average. It's only 81 mins but it drags that out to the end. Might have been better as a 45-50 min story on a TV anthology series. It scores a 5 on the IMDb and that's what I gave it. I wouldn't be driven to see it again anytime soon.

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Renfield 2023 Story by Robert Kirkman, screenplay by Ryan Ridley and directed by Chris McKay.

Nicolas Cage is Dracula and Nicholas Hoult is his familiar Renfield. After a bad time with some Vampire hunters they decide to hide out in New Orleans while Dracula recovers from most of his flesh being burnt off him. Renfield has to get Dracula humans for food and he's getting tired of it after 90 years together. Renfield is in a 12 step group for people in codependent relationships, it gives him confidence to move away to Dracula. He gets his own studio apartment and go out to a nightclub.

Awkwafina is Rebecca, a cop in New Orleans, her father was killed by Teddy Lobo, the son of the local crime boss, his mom Bellafrancesca. Rebecca wants to put him away and an opertunity to arrest Teddy comes up during a traffic stop. Sadly the force is corrupt and under the thumb of Bellafrancesca. Pissed off the Lobo crime family sends their baddies after Renfield and Rebecca. Luckily Renfield can tosses back a bug to activate his vampire powers to keep her alive.

The rest of the movie is a series of battles, Renfield and Rebecca try to survive with the Lobo's, the cops and Dracula all after them. It's not a good day for any of those guys. Body parts are flying everywhere. There's plenty of action, plenty of gore and plenty of gags. I thought it was a hoot and will pick up the Blu-ray at some point.

Uncle Was A Vampire 1959 Story and screenplay by Edoardo Anton, Marcello Fondato, Sandro Continenza, Dino Verde, Steno and Renato Rascel, directed by Steno. Titled Tempi duri per i vampiri in Italy, that translates to Hard Times for Vampires. It was Christopher Lee's first Italian picture, it's on Blu-ray in The Eurocrypt of Christopher Lee Collection 2 from Severn.

Baron Osvaldo Lambertenghi is up to his ears in debt, he has to sell his castle to a hotel chain, they give him some money, he gives it to the government for his taxes and the hotel manager gives him a bellhop job. Osvaldo's uncle Baron Roderico da Frankurten (Christopher Lee) shows up expecting to stay at the castle. Baron Frankurten doesn't show up for a good while and then isn't in much of the movie after that.

Osvaldo gets bitten by his uncle and goes on a biting spree. Instead of killing his victims, all lovely ladies at the hotel, he manages to get 42 women to fall under his spell. The husbands and boyfriends of the ladies start chasing him around with stakes. Lucky for him the curse can be lifted and most everyone gets back to normal.

It's got a big mess for a plot and it's rather lacking in good gags to carry us along to the end. It's like a sex farce with vampires but no nudity. I'd give it a 5 if it had the jokes to go along with the story but I had to take a point off for that. Lee doesn't have much to do when he's on the screen. Hope he got paid well. There's a commentary, hope that's interesting.

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A Boy And His Samurai 2010 Based on Fushigi no Kuni no Yasubei by Gen Araki, screenplay and direction by Yoshihiro Nakamura. Yoshihiro is the director of Fish Story. That's the only other movie of his I've seen.

This movie is a fish out of water comedy, a samurai from late 1800s Edo is transported to modern day Toyko. Kijima's there for a few months and he learns a different life style. A lady named Yusa takes Kijima in and her son Tomoya bonds with him.

Kijima learns to bake delicious desserts and he gets a job after winning a contest. He becomes too attentive to his job and neglects the family. Things go bad before they get better.

It's a charming movie. It's a bit slow going but I was entertained. It's got a few laughs and some jeopardy. Things end on a good note. You can see a nice copy over on Dailymotion.

The Hyperions 2020 Story, screenplay (with additional material by Mike Timm) and direction by Jon McDonald.

There's way too much dysfunctional family in the story. In 1960 Professor Ruckus Mandulbaum invented a badge that gives the wearer a superpower. He chose two orphan children and a slightly older woman to be his super hero team. Vista didn't adjust well and she ran off after using her power to control people's minds to force the Professor to give up a pile of cash and a special device. She left the Professor her badge.

The Professor got rid of Ansel, taking his badge away, and found more youngsters to replace them. That was in 1965, fourteen years later Vista and Ansel are trying to steal the badges from the Hyperion museum. Vista needs them to recover her daughter from another ex-Hyperion who wants his badge back. The baddie was on the second team, they got tossed aside after a few years and the Professor is hunting for a new team.

Everybody's got daddy issues and they are all in a bit of a mess. The movie is a bit of a mess. There's some jokes but they are a bit few and far between. It's rather slow and the characters are annoying at times. It reminds me how good The Specials is and I should watch it again sometime soon. I'd watch that before I'd get around to The Hyperions again.