PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 1036

Bloody Spear At Mount Fuji 1955 Original story by Kintaro Inoue, screenplay by Shintarō Mimura, Fuji Yahiro and Toshio Tamikado, directed by Tomu Uchida. A Japanese period drama. We watched the Arrow Blu-ray from 2018.

A group of people on the road to Edo interact with each other. There's Samurai Sakawa Kojūrō and his two servants Genta and Genpachi, a traveling musician and her daughter, a man selling his daughter Otane into prostitution, a policeman, a thief, a pilgrim, a young kid called Jirō and a man called Tōzaburō.

They often stay at the same inns. The Samurai is a bad drinker and he eventually has a run in with a group of drunk samurai scum that doesn't end well for him. Jirō learns the heard way it's not much of a life to be a spear carrier. Otane is saved from a life of prostitution and goes home with her father. She's saved by Tōzaburō who's daughter had died while being a prostitute. The musician and her daughter manage to make the trip mostly unscathed.

It's a pokey paced drama that reminds me what a shitty place it was to live in the days before the Meiji Restoration of 1868. It's not much better after either. It's mostly chatter and sitting about, there's hardly any action until the third act. The characters are mostly interesting but they don't do a whole lot. I enjoyed the movie but doubt I'll get around to it again too soon. Still, it was worth a gander.

Despicable Me 4 2024 Written by Mike White and Ken Daurio, directed by Chris Renaud.

A supervillain called Maxime escapes prison, his goal is to kill Gru. The AVL sends Gru and his family to a safe house. He's to pretend he's a solar panel salesman. Gru's wife Lucy is going to be a hairdresser and the three girls are going to the local school. Gru tries to be friendly to the uptight neighbors, only the wife seems to like Gru and Lucy. Poppy, the neighbor's daughter is a bit of a stuck up bitch but she comes to like the family after she blackmails Gru into helping her steal Gru's old schoolmaster's honey badger.

The Minions get taken in by AVL and 5 of them are enhanced with superpowers. They cause a lot of damage in the HQ and around the city. The safe house is outed and Maxime attacks. There's some running about, collateral damage and plenty of jeopardy. Eventually it all works out for Gru, his family and their pals.

There were some good laughs, even a couple of out loud ones. I'd watch it again some time, perhaps have a marathon of the series.

Friday Night Movies 1028

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard 2021 Story by Tom O'Connor, screenplay by Tom O'Connor, Brandon Murphy and Phillip Murphy, directed by Patrick Hughes. Sequel to The Hitman's Bodyguard.

Michael Bryce is seeing a therapist about his loss of license to be a Triple A bodyguard. She tells him he should take a sabbatical from guns and take a vacation. His vacation is interrupted by the arrival of Sonia Kincaid, she's looking for help getting her hubby back from the gangsters who kidnapped him. Now he's involved in the middle of a scheme to destroy Europe's economy with some magical software that turns the power grid into a ticking time bomb. A Greek billionaire who's mad that the EU is leveling sanctions on Greece.

It's a globe trotting shoot 'em up with plenty of laughs and a huge body count. Greg cast in Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Morgan Freeman, Richard E Grant, It got poor reviews form the critics and it didn't make enough money. I sure liked it more than they did. I laughed a lot, as did others in the room, and I would want to watch the pair of films again.

Le Magnifique 1973 Written by Philippe de Broca, Francis Veber and Jean-Paul Rappeneau, directed by Philippe de Broca. The film was also called The Man From Acapulco, referring back to de Broca's That Man From Rio from 1964. I think that's the only other film by de Broca I've seen.  

Jean-Paul Belmondo plays a spy novel writer François who's struggling to finish his 43rd book which is due in a few days. His imagine runs wild and he starts putting the people around him in his book. Jacqueline Bisset is his pretty neighbor, she becomes the romantic interest for the spy character. François's mean and sleazy publisher Pierre becomes the Albanian Head of the Secret Service Karpov. François is upset with his plumber and kills him off twice in the book.

The movie jumps between the reality of François life and the fantasy of the action novel. It gets more and more ludicrous as the movie plays out. There's some fun stuff going on and a few good laughs. Not as funny to me as the first movie tonight but I still enjoyed it. I'd watch it again and plan to listen to the Blu-ray commentary track.

Friday Night Movies 1021

Future Cops 1993 Written and directed by Wong Jing. A Chinese action comedy that's loosely based on the game Street Fighter II: The World Warrior. It's not an authorized adaptation so they can't use the real character names. Wong had already adapted Street Fighter characters in the Jackie Chan film City Hunter. Wong directed that in 1993 along with 7 other films. He'd officially adapt the game in 1994 with the release of Street Fighter: The Ultimate Battle.

The movie starts in 2043, The General is trying to take over the world, the Future Cops are trying to stop him. The General's plan is to go back in time and kill the judge that's sentencing him in the future. The Future Cops use a time machine to go into the past to stop The General's gang members. Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung and Simon Yam are the Future Cops. Ken Lo plays The General, his minions are played by Ekin Cheng, Billy Chow and William Duen.

Back in 1993 the Future Cops contact Tai-hung, the future judge, and stay at the family house. Dicky Cheung plays Tai-hung, Chingmy Yau plays his sister Chun-may, Kingdom Yuen plays the mother Chun-doi and Richard Ng plays her boyfriend Uncle Richard.

Tai-hung gets picked on at school but the Future Cops help him out. There's a lot of stuff going on at the school and some of the gags are fun. Wong is the king of wacky comedy, often called Makes No Sense Comedy. His jokes aren't always funny, some go over my head because I don't get the gag, other are just plain dumb fart jokes and the like. The last half the movie is packed with action and huge set pieces. The sets take a beating as people smash through walls and ceilings. Eventually the baddies are defeated and things get back to normal.

I thought I might have seen this back in the 90s when there was a lot of Asian Martial Arts cinema happening locally. It turns out it was only 2014 when I saw it. It was Friday Night Movies 504 - 11-29-2014. I enjoyed most of the movie and might watch it again someday. 

The People's Joker 2023 Written by Vera Drew and Brit LeRose, directed by Vera Drew. An unofficial parody of The Joker and Batman comics.

It's a dystopian future and Batman is real, once he retired Gotham City has fallen into the control of the baddies. In Smallville Kansas a young boy wonders about his gender, he asks his mother if he was born in the wrong body. Mom's a high strung woman who shouldn't be raising plants. She sends him to Arkam Asylum for some therapy, Dr Crane prescribes Smylex, a vape that gives the user a forced smile and covers up some of the depression and anxiety.

Fifteen years later our young boy is calling herself Vera. She takes a chance and leaves for Gotham City to try to join the cast of UBC Live. It's a sketch comedy show with a program to create jokemen. She works with her favorite jokeman Ra's Al Ghul. Vera becomes a Jokeman because of her mostly male attributes. Sadly in the comedy world of the future, women are assigned to be nameless Harlequins to serve as dancers for the Jokemen. Vera starts her own anti-comedy troupe and takes the name Joker the Harlequin. She sets up in an abandoned theater. I did enjoy some of the stand up here though it's pretty hit or miss.

It's an interesting looking film with plenty of animation and special effects. The movie gets more and more complicated as more characters and concepts are introduced. I can't say I wholeheartedly enjoyed the movie. There were a few bits that made me laugh but many of jokes fall flat. It's not something I would watch again, not because it's bad, mostly because it's just a drama about someone struggling with life, drugs, gender and dating. I'm not really interested in the drama, something I triage from my viewing when possible. Life's too short to spend it watching miserable people telling me their troubles. I mean, who would want to hang out with the Kramers, not this fuckin' guy, I'll tell you that for free.

Friday Night Movies 1020

Trick Or Treat 1986  Story by Rhet Topham, screenplay by Joel Soisson, Michael S Murphy, Rhet Topham and an uncredited Glen Morgan and James Wong, directed by Charles Martin Smith. We watched the Synapse release.

Eddie gets picked on by the jocks in his high school. He's a metal head with few social skills. One day Eddie wakes to find his favorite rocker Sammi Curr has died in a motel fire. Eddie's devastated. Later that day Eddie's pal Nuke, a DJ at a local radio station, gives him a copy of an unreleased Sammi Curr album. Eddie is happy and takes it home. Unbeknownst to Eddie the album is home to the evil spirit of Sammi Curr. His evil leaks out and the killing starts.

Eddie tries to stop Sammi but several of the locals are slaughtered in various ways. Eddie gets a bit of a hand from his friends Roger and Leslie. It's touch and go with Sammi rampaging about but they manage to survive to the end of the movie. There's some funny bits and some gory bits. They had a fairly decent budget and spent the money wisely. Charles Martin Smith did a nice job at the helm and the actors are OK for the most part. Same with the special effects.

The Wikipedia says the film didn't do to well at the Box Office but has gotten a cult following since it's release. I was entertained and had a laugh or two. I'd watch it again sometime.

In The Moscow Slums 2023 Adapted from The Sign Of Four and the writings of Vladimir Gilyarovsky, screenplay by Ekaterina Kochetkova, Elena Podrez and Karen Shakhnazarov, directed by Karen Shakhnazarov. A Russian film set in 1902.

Theater director Konstantin Stanislavsky is looking for inspiration in acting and directing a new Gorky play set in the slums of Moscow. The slums are called Khitrovka, it's a dangerous place packed with bars filled with prostitutes, thieves and murders. Konstantin's friend introduces him to Vladimir Gilyarovsky, a man who has spent a lot of time in Khitrovka.

Gilyarovsky takes Konstantin around the area introducing him to some of the locals. They go to visit Gilyarovsky's friend The Rajah only to find him dead, poisoned by a blow dart. The local police inspector isn't much good at detecting and it falls to our amateurs to figure out the ID of the killer. They aren't very Holmes and Watson like but they do a good job figuring it all out.

I enjoyed it quite a bit. I will want to see it again so I ordered the Blu-ray today. You can see a nice copy on Mosfilm's YouTube site, link in the title. There are quite a few good films on their YouTube page.

The Marco Effect 2021

The Marco Effect 2021 Based on the novel Buried by Jussi Adler-Olsen, screenplay by Anders Frithiof August, Thomas Porsager and Martin Zandviet, directed by Martin Zandviet. A Danish series of films, this is the fifth.Someone was nice enough to pass a copy along.

Detective Carl Mørck and  Detective Hafez el-Assad are Danish policemen. Carl had a bad day at work recently, a man died, and he's been furloughed home. He's supposed to see a therapist and he's quit smoking. A couple of weeks off and he's champing at the bit to come back to work. His boss lets him but he's got his reservations. Carl's not the sort of person you want to be around when he's happy and firing on all cylinders.

The train police capture a kid on one of their trains from the Middle East. He's of little interest until they find a page from the passport of a man missing for four years. Carl and Hafez start looking into the kid, that leads them to some local thieves. The body of the missing man turns up a bit into the movie, that leads our cops to some rich people. Somehow the suspects are connected.

Carl likes browbeating his suspects. He keeps getting into trouble and eventually gets kicked off the case and sent home. This only spurs him on to keep pounding everyone until he catches the baddies. Carl's an unlikable guy. He does get results.

This film sees a new cast take over the characters. Apparently the writer of the novels wasn't too keen on Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Fares Fares playing Detectives Carl Mørck and Hafez el-Assad. They were the main characters for the first four films. I'd seen those films a few years ago and really enjoyed them. I was impressed enough to upgrade to Blu-ray, from DVD, when I saw those were available.

It's a decently made film but I'm not caring for the new characters much at all. I  didn't find myself pulled into the story as I did on the previous films. I probably would have liked this better if I hadn't seen the previous four films.

Friday Night Movies 995

A Haunting In Venice 2023 Based on Agatha Christie's Hallowe'en Party, screenplay by Michael Green, directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Hercule Poirot has retired to Venice in 1947. He's nearly forced to attend a Halloween party by mystery writer Ariadne Oliver. There's a lot of kids there when they arrive at the palazzo of Rowena Drake. Soon as the kids leave there's a séance with a medium called Joyce Reynolds. Rowena wants to talk to her dead daughter. She fell out of the palazzo and was drowned in the canal.

A number of guests join them at the table. Some odd things happen and Poirot reveals how the psychic typewriter works by revealing Joyce's assistant hiding in the huge fireplace. Soon after Poirot is attacked and nearly drown in a bowl of water. Shortly after that Joyce is tossed off a balcony and dies impaled on the lance of a statue. Poirot locks everyone in until the police can get there. A storm is delaying them until the rough water in the canal is passable. Poirot gets his little grey cells going to solve the mystery.

I found it an entertaining mystery and of the same quality of his previous two Poirot films. The story changes most of the details from the novel which takes place in the UK. I'd still watch the movie again sometime. Good thing since I bought the Blu-ray.

Seksmisja 1984 Written by Juliusz Machullski, Jolanta Hartwig and Pavel Hayný, directed by Julliusz Machulski. A Polish SF movie.

Two men volunteer to test a space travel hibernation device. Instead of waking up 3 years later they're revived 53 years later. The world as they know it is gone, ruined by the a man destroying virus created by the man who created the hibernation device. Since women are all of the human race left they've created test tube babies to increase the population. They all live underground as the surface is damaged and unlivable.

The two men are locked up and their fate is being decided on by the government. Shortly after being allowed some freedom the ruin their freedom with their stupidity. Just being there they damage the society. Eventually they get one lady on their side and she helps them escape the underground bunker. They tell her they would like to die free than be stuck down underground. Lucky for them there's a nice surprise on the surface.

It's all pretty silly and much more interesting than I was thinking it might be from the box. I enjoyed it but I'm not sold on getting a copy for myself. I'd take a download if I find one.

Friday Night Movies 982

Santet 2 1988 Written by Naryono Prayitno and directed by Sisworo Gautama Putra. An Indonesian sequel to Santet. It's part of a double film Blu-ray by Vinegar Syndrome. 

Having killed off the baddie in the first movie Katemi tries to give up the black magic life and settle back into village life. She's forced back into the black magic lifestyle by Nyi Loreng, the ghost of the long dead master of Katemi's recently dead master Nyi Angker. Nyi Loreng puts a curse on Katemi which turns her into a tiger. At night she terrorizes the village as a tiger. Nyi Loreng wants revenge for the murder of her pupil but Katemi doesn't want to kill anyone.

The son of the baddie in the first movie is a drug smuggler in Jakarta. The same actor plays father and son. The son moves to the seaside village to run his business. The local police are rather dim but the Jakarta police are there to wreck the son's drug smuggling operation. Luckily the local Muslim teacher helps Katemi fight the bad influences. Eventually things are sorted out and Katemi gets to marry the local Muslim teacher.

It wasn't as much fun as the first but I did get a few laughs. There's not as much black magic stuff going on in this one. It's more a comedy with a large bit of on screen time devoted to the local comic relief machine constable and his wife. It's pretty lowbrow and only marginally funny. I was laughing at the film making more than the jokes. The effects are fair to poor with the tiger suit getting plenty of laughs.

Infinity Pool 2023 Written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg. A science fiction movie that's heavy on the drama.

The movie is set in the fictional country of Li Tolqa. Tourists have to stay in the resort as the locals are a bad lot. A writer and his rich wife are befriended by a couple who convince them to take a trip to a beach outside the resort. On the way back the writer is driving the car, he hits a local who dies. They leave the body there and run away after the husband of the other couple convinces the writer that the police are corrupt and it will go bad for them once they fall into the police's hands. It's astonishing to me that people would pick that country for a vacation.

The next morning the police come and arrest the writer and his wife. They know everything and the writer is given the dead penalty. He's also given a tourist out option, for a large pile of cash the police will provide a clone for the dead man's family's eldest son to kill. It's a pretty old school, an eye for an eye, sort of country so you know there's plenty of opportunity for corruption. He takes the option and pays for the clone. They have sit and watch the son of the dead man kill the clone.  His rich wife is horrified and really wants to leave.

It's just the start of a downhill slide for the writer. He becomes a complete piece of shit joining some other tourists who have been cloned before in beating a local police man. More badness follows. Eventually he finds out his new pals are just fucking with him, trying to turn him into another murder tourist like them. They break his brain and he winds up sitting in the monsoon rain staring out to sea across the infinity pool. 

I certainly didn't care for the pieces of shit that the writer got involved with and for the man the writer became. I can't see spending time with that sort. The movie is a good reminder to distrust the rich and powerful. It's not hard to imagine many of them turning into murder tourists and killing for fun. I didn't care much for the movie despite it being well made and the cast doing a great job. I wouldn't need to watch it again.

The Sixth Secret 2022

The Sixth Secret 2022 Written and directed  by Mart Sander. I watched it on Amazon Prime, free with subscription. An Estonian film in English set in Britain about 1938.

It's a murder mystery involving a seance and plenty of double crosses. Some people meet for a seance that's supposed to reveal people's secrets. A dozen people sit down but some of them leave. A young man dies but it's all a trick, several people are murdered, most of them off camera.

The characters have accents and some of the actors are better at that then others. The main actors aren't too bad but the dialog they have to say isn't that good. There's a good bit going on in the script, perhaps too much, especially when it comes to all the double crosses.

It's said to cost €60,000 and it looks it. There's the one big main set, a few flashbacks in small rooms, and some mediocre CGI. It's often touted as horror but there's nothing horrific here but the main characters. Despite the seance there's nothing supernatural, except the ghosts who've been voting the IMDb score up. I haven't seen such tampering in a while.

Over 81.3% of the votes are 7 or up. I was generous and gave it a four, deserved a three. The reviews are mostly tens. Here's a favorite.

Gordon Bleu, not hot dog 5 July 2022

Normally I would give this film something like 8, but I'm a bit surprised by the lower rating. This is indeed a gordon bleu and it seems a lot of low rates come from the hot dog munchers. The problem is that you would need to know your classic cinema to understand, let alone enjoy this flick, which parodies several films from yesteryears. If you only watch recent teenage action films, give this one a miss.

 

Back to me: It made me laugh when I read that. I might take that guy more seriously if he knew it was cordon bleu. Oh well, I've wasted too much time on this as it is.

Tenet 2020

Tenet 2020 Written and directed by Christopher Nolan.

The Protagonist is a CIA guy, he fights a villain across time lines. It's rather busy and I had to check the Wikipedia synopsis to see what I missed. There's plenty of action and noise.

I enjoyed it well enough and might want to see it again.

Arctic Void 2022

Arctic Void 2022 Written by Darren Mann, Jay Kirk and William Paul Jones, directed by Darren Mann.

A bunch of tourists disappear off of a ship in the arctic. Three guys remaining on the ship land at an abandoned city. They wonder around, one guy gets sicker and sicker. The guy with the shotgun finds out it's all some sort of experiment that unknown people are operating. A machine is making their bodies to deteriorate.

It's starts rather intriguingly but has a disappointing ending. I saw it on Amazon Prime. I wish I had watched it on YouTube, speed control you know, the movie really slows down once they get on land. It's below average for me, I wouldn't need to see it again.