PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Monsterland 2016

Monsterland came out in 2016 and it's the work of more film makers than I care to list. It's an anthology film with a framing story about a guy who's caught up in a zombie outbreak. He takes refuge in a theater that's still running the film, has some popcorn, sits down and watches the short subjects.

It's a plethora of monsters, big and small, each from an Indy film maker, all different. Didn't like that monster, here's another right soon. Same with the production values and acting. I certainly think more of them were fun than not. The movie does have a fairly decent sense of humor and I had a few laughs. I'm going to get back to this at some point. I see there's a sequel, doubt I'll see, it gets poor reviews on the IMDb, maybe if it's cheap enough. I'm sure I've purposely bought worse films.

The Blood Rose 1970

The Blood Rose is a 1970 French film about a crazy artist who winds up causing several deaths. Claude Mulot is the director and he wrote the screenplay with Jean Larriaga and Edgar Oppenheimer. None of their work seems familiar, no matter, there's no time to watch it anyway. The Wikipedia says it's an unofficial remake of Eyes Without A Face. I saw that back in 2005 but don't recall anything about it. Other remakes of EWAF are The Awful Dr Orloff and Corruption. I've seen the latter but missed the former. Someday, maybe.

An artist bring his fiance to his crumbly chateau. At his gallery show the fiance's head is pushed into some fire by the artist's ex. She lives but her face is badly burned and the plastic surgeons say the skin is too damaged. Artist guy forces a disbarred plastic surgeon to help him by blackmailing the guy. They kidnap a couple of women for their faces but they die in the operation. The sister of one of the women arrives at the chateau and nearly becomes the face transplant. The big climactic scene sees most everyone dead.

It's about average, I wouldn't say I'd need to see it again, I certainly wouldn't buy a copy on DVD, I did save a download from YouTube.

Night Birds 1930

Night Birds is a 1930 British crime film directed by Richard Eichberg. Richard is German and started directing in 1915. Most of his work was in Germany but he occasionally worked in other places, I see one film made in Finland and a couple in Denmark. Whirl Of Youth was made in the US in 1927 and the following year he made Pavement Butterfly in the UK. The film was filmed in both English and German. Other than this film I don't think I've seen any of his other work.

It was written by Victor Kendall with some additional dialog by Miles Malleson. I can't say I recognize any of the other 28 writing credits that Victor has. He worked steadily form 1929 to 1939 and then he seems to disappear, his date of death is unknown. I know Miles from several films as an actor and writer, he appears in the film in an uncredited part. He worked from 1921 to 1965 and passed away 4 years later at age 80. He has 138 acting credits and 47 credits on the IMDb. As an actor he turns up in some good number of films I've seen. Horror and mystery genre fans should know him from the 1959 The Hound Of The Baskervilles, the 1935 The 39 Steps, Peeping Tom, The Brides Of Dracula and Horror Of Dracula. Comedy fans should know him from The Man In The White Suit, The Importance Of Being Ernest, Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Captain's Paradise, I'm All Right Jack and Call Me Bwana.

Hoodlums hold up the rich at a dinner at a man's mansion. Jack Raine is Sergeant Harry Cross, that's him in the pictures above, one with Frank Perfitt, he plays a Scotland Yard Inspector who's Cross's boss, and the other with Eva Gray, she plays Cross's wife Mary. We get a bit of family drama mixed in with the crime detection, neither is very serious. The IMDb says it's a crime drama but there's sure a lot of gags. There's a dance number near the beginning and a big stage play with music near the end. There Sgt Cross faces his foe high above the stage, you can see the actors pointing up above. I enjoyed it and I'd watch it again someday.

Science Fiction Sunday 581

PSI Factor is a 1980 film from Robert Emenegger and Allan Sandler. I've only got two more films by the guys after these two. They wrote the concept story, Steve Posner wrote the screenplay and Bryan Trizers directed. It's an alien encounter film with Peter Mark Richman as a scientist and Gretchen Corbett as his girlfriend. Mark records an audio tape of the encounter but no one seems to really believe him. The higher ups take the tape and unbeknownst to Mark switch it out in a cover up. Mark suspects that when he hears the doctored tape. He talks Gretchen into stealing his file from the lab. They get caught but escape. Then there's a lot of running about as the couple try to get in contact with the guy who had Mark's job previously. Turns out the file has info on the scientist's alien encounters. As Mark and Gretchen drive around they keep running into the aliens. They are an annoying ball of flame that toys with the couple and their chasers. No one seems to get hurt. Mark and Gretchen meet up with the scientist and find out more about the aliens. It was a bit better than the films that Robert and Allan direct, I gave it a 5 but it's barely average.

The Perfect Woman is the second of the Emenegger and Sandler productions today. It's a burden but I'm stuck here anyway. It came out in 1981 and Robert and Allan wrote and directed the movie. Fred Willard is the King of an alien planet, the council believes he needs to get a bride and have an heir. The aliens have space travel and they receive Earth TV. Fred is a big fan of Earth TV and Earth women. He sends his trusted minions to get him an Earth woman. they come up with Joanne Nail and she's just what the King wants. Of course, he's a shallow guy and the alien planet is a good bit backward when it comes to women's rights. Joanne stirs things up with her more modern thinking. They'll get over it and eventually there's a happy ending. The core story was alright and the cast was certainly better than the usual Emenegger and Sandler production, Peter Kastner, Barry Gordon, Cameron Mitchell, Marie Windsor, Rudy Vallee, Ronnie Schell, Barbara Minkus and Paul Keith. The problem was the script and the production values. I didn't really have any good jokes. Not so good when you're trying to make a comedy.

Friday Night Movies 781

Karel Zeman's Invention Of Destruction is the first movie up tonight. It came out in 1958 and it's packed with two other Zeman films in a 3 Blu-ray set from Criterion. It's loosely based on the Jules Verne novel Face au Drapeau or For The Flag/Facing The Flag. It was released in the US under the name The Fabulous World Of Jules Verne and did very well.

The movie is made to look like the original line engraved illustrations in the original Verne novels. It mixes animation and live action, most of the backgrounds are drawn and the people and props inserted where needed. Some of the props are physical and some are two dimensional drawings that people slip in between. It looks pretty interesting. I'm impressed by the set designers and decorators.

The story is about a mad millionaire and his submarine. When he's not out plundering ships in his submarine he's home in his castle in the middle of an old volcano. There he's working on a large cannon to help with his plundering. One engineer escapes and gets picked up by the fleet looking for the pirates. Before they get away they are attacked and sunk. The engineer is back to on the island soon enough. He continues working against the mad man.

The film looks great. I liked it and would watch it again.

I can't say the same for the second movie. I Am Alone is a found footage virus movie about a survival reality show star called Jacob who is out on his own during the outbreak of some sort of zombie making plague. His footage is found by the CDC who see a guy surviving the virus and hope to figure out why. They don't have Jacob but they do find Jacob's cameraman. They show him the footage and ask him to see if there's anything he can help add to the story. We spend a lot of time with Jacob in the woods, it's all rather dull, even after he's attacked and bitten by a zombie. These are the slow shambling types. Eventually most of the footage is watched and there's a big ass open ending. I hardly cared by then. I wouldn't need to see this one again.

Canada's Worst Handyman Season 2

Canada's Worst Handyman Season 2 is about the same as the first season. Five hapless amateur handymen, two are women handymen, bash and crash their way to the end of the series and one of them is crowned the worst Handyman in Canada. The jumped to 9 episodes, from season 1's 7 episodes, and it was a bit of a stretch. They went to 8 in the 3rd season and 7 in the remaining three seasons. This time the contestants are building sheds and other projects. The shed's have to be a certain size and only one of the contestants made them shorter than the max allowed roof height. They later had to take their sheds out of the build ares and the door is only 9 foot 2 inches. One had had her shed nearly 12 feet tall. I got a few laughs as a sped my way through the series on YouTube.

The Edgar Wallace Mysteries Volume 4

The Edgar Wallace Mysteries Volume 4 has another 8 films, one of which wasn't produced under the TEWM banner originally. The set is like the first three, 3 discs and a booklet in a 3 DVD case, all 7 DVD cases packed in a box set. The booklet lists the writer and director and which story or novel of Edgar's film is based on. The booklet says that 6 of the films are purportedly based on a story by Wallace but list no story or novel. One is based on a named Wallace story and the added bonus is based on a play by another writer. I find these movies to still be of a decent quality, I rate most of them a 6 on the IMDb where most of them don't even have 100 votes. You can find many of them on YouTube.

Locker Sixty Nine 1962 Screenplay by Richard Harris and directed by Norman Harrison. Richard wrote a lot of British TV shows and created Man In A Suitcase. A scummy business guy and his pals send a shipload of tainted food to Africa and lots of people die. Now someone is sending threatening letters to the scumbag and to get out of it he fakes his own death. Eddie Byrne plays the cop on the case, he'll soon figure it out, it's a short movie. Good story and I liked the cop.

Death Trap 1962 Screenplay by John Roddick, directed by John Llewellyn Moxey. John wrote a fair number of British TV shows including Girl In A Black Bikini. John started directing in the UK with shows like The Baron, The Avengers, The Saint and The Champions. In the late 60s he moved to the US and worked on shows like The Name Of The Game, Mod Squad, Mission: Impossible, Mannix and Kung Fu.

A young woman investigates her sisters suicide and the disappearance of a large amount of cash. Turns out an investment guy had stolen it but another scumbag wants a cut of the action. Soon enough there's a dead guy and a mystery for the cops. Poor Barbara Windsor plays a gal that gets murdered in her shower. A fairly decent story.

The Set Up 1962 Screenplay by Roger Marshall, directed by Gerald Glaister. An ex-con gets tempted by an offer to fake a robbery. It all turns out rather murdery and the poor sap is in over his head. A couple of cops will help him out of his predicament. Another decent story.

Incident At Midnight 1962 Screenplay by Arthur La Bern, directed by Norman Harrison. Most of the action centers around an all night chemist where a bunch of crooks have brought a wounded man. There's a nice mix of characters in a tight spot. I enjoyed this one more than most of the series, lots of nice twists and turns.

The £20,000 Kiss 1962 Based on Edgar Wallace's 1929 story In The Black, screenplay by Philip Mackie, directed by John Llewellyn Moxey. Some blackmailers try putting the bite on a politician with compromising photo they've doctored up in the dark room. Then the young woman turns up dead. The cops get involved and figure out what happened. It was pretty entertaining.

On The Run 1963 Screenplay by Richard Harris, directed by Robert Tronson. A prison inmate escapes from prison with only a month to go. He's after some bonds and some of his old pals are after him. Another good story.

Return To Sender 1963 Screenplay by John Roddick, directed by Gordon Hales. A criminal scumbag is arrested. He works with some other scumbag to try to ruin the reputation of the barrister who leads the prosecution. Nigel Davenport, Yvonne Romain and William Russell are in the cast. Fairly good story.

House Of Mystery 1961 Based on the play L'Angoisse by Pierre Mille and Celia de Vilyars, screenplay by Vernon Sewell, directed by Vernon Sewell. It played in the British cinemas, later it was sold to US TV and aired as part of the Kraft Mystery Theater. It's a ghost story, a young couple comes to look at a house for sale. It's far too cheap for the current market. At the house a woman takes them on a tour and tells them about the people who tried to live there before. They keep seeing the ghost and leaving. It was sort of predictable but still entertaining.

Canada's Worst Handyman Season 1

Canada's Worst Handyman is a reality show about some poor ass amateur handymen. It's hosted by Andrew Younghusband, who also hosts Canada's Worst Drivers. In the first season there are 5 handymen, one of them is a woman, and they haven't a clue among them. They're nominated by their family and friends, the nominator has to appear on the show with them and help with some of the tasks and challenges. There's a lot of failure going on here and some laughs. The contestants preform a series of tasks in an apartment in a building slated for demolition. Things like building a shelf, putting in a toilet, patching drywall, painting a mural in the living room. Lots of things to fail at, and the average failure rate is very high. It made me laugh as I sprinted through the series. That series aired back in 2006 and there were 5 more seasons before the show wrapped.

Circle Of Danger 1951

Circle Of Danger came out in 1951, it's British and directed by Jacques Tourneur. Philip MacDonald wrote the screenplay. Philip also wrote The Bride Of Frankenstein, 2 Charlie Chan films and 3 Mr Moto films. Ray Milland travels to England to see if he can learn some more about his brothers death during the war. He travels around meeting people connected to his brother, the military, and the raid the brother died on. His plan of vengeance takes a back seat when he finds the man's death was much different than he had been imaging. A sad story but well told. I'm not going to rush back to watch it again anytime soon but it's going on the shelf.

Science Fiction Sunday 580

The Killings At Outpost Zeta is another of the Allan Sandler and Robert Emenegger films.They came up with the concept and directed, Peter Dawson wrote the actual script. I though Peter's script was one of the better of the lot and it's still below average. It came out in 1980, along with three other films by the team. Outpost Zeta is a planet that's due for colonization. There's a bit of a problem, the advance team was all killed and the two rescue teams that went have stopped communicating. Six people head out on a new mission. They find dead bodies in the outpost, and info about an experiment that created some new life form. It kills some of them and a couple escape. Pretty standard stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Pretty much the same with Laboratory, another Robert Emenegger and Allan Sandler film from 1980. Those two came up with the concept and directed, Seth Marshall III wrote the script. This time six people are kidnapped by UFOs and experimented on in an old USAF building. Martin Kove was one of the only actors that I knew. There's a lot of yelling and walking through hallways. Like the other movie it's all super low budget and below average. I've made it through 60% of their films, only 4 more to go. It's a tough slog.