PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Batman: The Doom That Came To Gotham 2023

Batman: The Doom That Came To Gotham 2023 Based on the 2000 comic series of the same name by Mike Mignola, screenplay by Jase Ricci, directed by Christopher Berkeley and Sam Liu.

I'd read the 3 issue series almost 20 years ago and had forgotten all the details. I should dig it out to read sometime. I like Mike Mignola quite a bit, first as an artist and second as a story teller. I wish he had drawn the whole series not just the covers. I have the same complaint about him and Hellboy. Oh, well, huh.

The animated movie is set in 1928 and Bruce Wayne has been traveling since his parents were killed twenty years before. He's led an expedition to find what happened to Oscar Cobblepot. Bruce is joined by his three wards and his man Alfred. On arrival they find the crew dead except one man who's called Grendon. A strange creature is seen in the distance. Unbeknownst to Bruce it's Oscar, mutated by some evil force.

Bruce heads home to Gotham City and the Wayne Manor. He's got a nice wine cellar there. Grendon babbles on and on and Bruce starts to see something in his mutterings. Other strange things happen, many die. Bruce interacts with characters who are similar to characters in the regular comic series, there's a steady stream of them.

Eventually things come to a head when the unknowable evil arrives. Supernatural magic has to happen for Batman to defeat the baddies. There's plenty of fights and running about. The animation is good and the story is busy and entertaining. I picked up the Blu-ray and would watch it again sometime. There's a commentary by the writer and directors. It was about average. There's a nice making of for the movie and a promo featurette on the Superman Red Son movie.

Arctic Void 2022

Arctic Void 2022 Written by Darren Mann, Jay Kirk and William Paul Jones, directed by Darren Mann.

A bunch of tourists disappear off of a ship in the arctic. Three guys remaining on the ship land at an abandoned city. They wonder around, one guy gets sicker and sicker. The guy with the shotgun finds out it's all some sort of experiment that unknown people are operating. A machine is making their bodies to deteriorate.

It's starts rather intriguingly but has a disappointing ending. I saw it on Amazon Prime. I wish I had watched it on YouTube, speed control you know, the movie really slows down once they get on land. It's below average for me, I wouldn't need to see it again.

The Rise Of The Beast 2022

The Rise Of The Beast 2022 Written by Max Brooks and Fil Freitas, directed by Jack Ayers.

Some activists break into a secret facility that tests on animals. They release a mutated ape like creature that likes tearing people apart. Ow. Sounds sort of like a number of horror movies.

There's a nasty monster but there's also a lot of talking. People wonder about, chat a bit and the monster kills them. Nothing much new here. The script and acting is weak and the film below average. It scores a 2.9 on the IMDb and I can't disagree with that.

I like seeing new movies but it's really the sort of thing I would turn up the speed on when I'm watching a DVD or a streaming source. Nothing's worse than watching dull scene after dull scene to get to the monster action. Sadly I saw this on Amazon Prime and they still have no speed control. I would not need to see it again.

Cerebrum 2022

Cerebrum 2022 Written and directed by Sebastien Blanc.

An SF thriller that I didn't find that interesting. It's slow moving, somewhat unpleasant and practically everyone dies. I wouldn't watch it again.

Ill: Final Contagium 2020

Ill: Final Contagium 2020 Written and directed by Kai E Bogatzki, Domiziano Cristopharo and Lucio A Rojas. A anthology horror film that was produced by film makers in German, Italy and Chili.

I didn't care much for this virus out of control film. It's all gory and filled with pus. I wasn't awful or anything  but I wouldn't need to see it again.

Friday Night Movies 953

Gorgo 1961 Story by Eugène Lourié and Daniel Hyatt, screenplay by John Loring and Daniel Hyatt, directed by Eugène Lourié. We watched the new Gorgo Blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome. I've watched this movie several times over the years, this is the nicest version so far.

A giant monster wanders into an Irish village on Nara island. An enterprising seaman and his partner catch the beastie and take it to London to put on display for 5 shillings a head. The seaman lets some scientists take a gander at the creature, they find out that it's a youngster. The seaman speculates that there could be an adult out there.

Of course the parent comes calling to Nara Island, it leaves a devastated village and heads out to sea. The Navy can't stop it and neither can the buildings of London. Many die in the city that day. Successfully rescuing it's child the beasts head back to the sea.

Even after many viewings the movie holds up. I'm enjoying the movie and it's a good reminder that taking a giant beast into the city is just a bad idea all around.

Evil Dead Rise 2023 Written and directed by Lee Cronin. The fifth in the Evil Dead series.

The movie opens with an unrelated scene by a lake. One woman scalps another woman and cuts the head off of a man.  Cut to a rundown apartment building in LA. It's due for demolition but there are still a few families living on site. The son of a woman finds a book and 3 phonograph records in a secret room. He plays the records, a man reciting some foreign words opens a portal to evil and mom gets turned into a deadite. Most everyone dies.

There's plenty of yelling,  running about and slaughter but the film lacked the humor that the series had in the hands of Sam Raimi. I might have enjoyed it more with a lighter tone. Deadly dark films aren't my jam. It did make me realize I wouldn't need to pick up a copy. My other complaint is about the constant references to other horror film scenes that Lee shoehorns into the film, like the elevator filled with blood opening onto a lobby from The Shining. One or two references would be fine but 8 or 10 are too many.

Friday Night Movies 952

Cocaine Bear 2023 Written by Jimmy Warden and directed by Elizabeth Banks.

The movie is set in 1985 and is inspired by a real life incident involving a drug smuggling ex-cop named Andrew C Thornton II. He dumped cocaine out of a small plane, jumped after it, and he got tangled up in his chute. He hit the hard and died with $15,000,000 worth of cocaine strapped to him. A black bear got into one of the other bags and died.

In the movie the bear lives. All sorted up the bear becomes hyperactive and cranky. The bear attacks the locals when they get in the way of his search for more blow. Ray Liotta plays the drug smuggler who needs to get that coke back. He sends his son and another guy to retrieve it. Ray follows them to Blood Mountain as a small group of other random people converge on the same spot. They encounter cocaine bear in the middle of his rampage and many don't survive the experience.

It's got a good cast and script. Nicely filmed and nice locations. Despite the decent body count it's most pretty broad and played for laughs. I laughed a lot and will want to see it again sometime.

Amphibious 2010 Story by San Fu Maltha and Somtow Sucharitkul, screenplay by John Penny and Brian Yuzna, directed by Brian Yuzna. Retitled as Deep Water on the French Blu-ray. Annoyingly the film had French subtitles that you couldn't shut off. It was the first film Brian had directed since 2005 and the second last film in his career. He hasn't made another film since the 2011 60 Seconds Of Solitude In The Year Zero.

Janna Fassaert is lady marine biologist who hires Michael Paré to take her out into a Sumatran lake to see if she can find some prehistoric life. Michael stops at a fishing stand to drop off some cash to a local smuggler. Of course Michael doesn't have the whole amount he should and that creates bad blood. The local police are on the side of the smuggler and offer to impound Michael's boat if he doesn't come up with the cash.

The smugglers have bought boys to work on the fishing platform and they mistreat them. While Jack was at the platform, a young boy named Tamal asks Janna to get him and his brother off the platform, she agrees to help but everyone, including the local police, tells her to leave it alone. While all this drama is playing out the platform is getting visits from a giant scorpion. One by one it picks off the men and boys and hardly anyone survives.

It get s a low score at the IMDb, a 3.4, though I thought it was a bit slow and had a weak script I thought it was a bit better than that, I gave it a 5. There's a poorish copy on YouTube, link above.

Friday Night Movies 951

Bullet Train 2022 Based on the novel Maria Beetle (Bullet Train) by Kōtarō, screenplay by Zak Olkewicz, directed by David Leitch. David hasn't directed a lot of films, he was mostly an actor and stuntman before moving into direction. At one point he was Brad Pitts stunt double in several films. John Wick was his first film, followed by Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2 and Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. I haven't seen any but John Wick yet. David's currently got a movie in post production based on the Lee Major's TV series The Fall Guy due out next year.

Brad Pitt plays Ladybug, he's an assassin who mostly works snatch and grab jobs, he's on the train to steal a briefcase filled with cash and gold. He's in communication with his handler Maria Beetle. Unbeknownst to them there are several other assassins and criminals on the train. There's a moderately good reason for each of them being there. The movie is pretty much a non-stop series of wild fist fights, blazing gun battles and noisy flashbacks. There's some flashback material that fill the viewer on the story.

It's pretty entertaining and quite violent. I got several laughs out of it, there's a lot of collateral damage and plenty of over the top shenanigans. I'd watch it again, lucky for me I bought the Blu-ray.

Val 2021 Written by Aaron Fradkin and Victoria Fratz, directed by Aaron Fradkin.

A dumb ass on the run from toe cops for a murder breaks into the big house of a $5000 an hour dominatrix who brings a world of pain into his life. We get a series of flashbacks to explain the story and things end poorly for the dumbass.

It's pretty darn talky and pretty average. It's only 81 mins but it drags that out to the end. Might have been better as a 45-50 min story on a TV anthology series. It scores a 5 on the IMDb and that's what I gave it. I wouldn't be driven to see it again anytime soon.

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Renfield 2023 Story by Robert Kirkman, screenplay by Ryan Ridley and directed by Chris McKay.

Nicolas Cage is Dracula and Nicholas Hoult is his familiar Renfield. After a bad time with some Vampire hunters they decide to hide out in New Orleans while Dracula recovers from most of his flesh being burnt off him. Renfield has to get Dracula humans for food and he's getting tired of it after 90 years together. Renfield is in a 12 step group for people in codependent relationships, it gives him confidence to move away to Dracula. He gets his own studio apartment and go out to a nightclub.

Awkwafina is Rebecca, a cop in New Orleans, her father was killed by Teddy Lobo, the son of the local crime boss, his mom Bellafrancesca. Rebecca wants to put him away and an opertunity to arrest Teddy comes up during a traffic stop. Sadly the force is corrupt and under the thumb of Bellafrancesca. Pissed off the Lobo crime family sends their baddies after Renfield and Rebecca. Luckily Renfield can tosses back a bug to activate his vampire powers to keep her alive.

The rest of the movie is a series of battles, Renfield and Rebecca try to survive with the Lobo's, the cops and Dracula all after them. It's not a good day for any of those guys. Body parts are flying everywhere. There's plenty of action, plenty of gore and plenty of gags. I thought it was a hoot and will pick up the Blu-ray at some point.

Uncle Was A Vampire 1959 Story and screenplay by Edoardo Anton, Marcello Fondato, Sandro Continenza, Dino Verde, Steno and Renato Rascel, directed by Steno. Titled Tempi duri per i vampiri in Italy, that translates to Hard Times for Vampires. It was Christopher Lee's first Italian picture, it's on Blu-ray in The Eurocrypt of Christopher Lee Collection 2 from Severn.

Baron Osvaldo Lambertenghi is up to his ears in debt, he has to sell his castle to a hotel chain, they give him some money, he gives it to the government for his taxes and the hotel manager gives him a bellhop job. Osvaldo's uncle Baron Roderico da Frankurten (Christopher Lee) shows up expecting to stay at the castle. Baron Frankurten doesn't show up for a good while and then isn't in much of the movie after that.

Osvaldo gets bitten by his uncle and goes on a biting spree. Instead of killing his victims, all lovely ladies at the hotel, he manages to get 42 women to fall under his spell. The husbands and boyfriends of the ladies start chasing him around with stakes. Lucky for him the curse can be lifted and most everyone gets back to normal.

It's got a big mess for a plot and it's rather lacking in good gags to carry us along to the end. It's like a sex farce with vampires but no nudity. I'd give it a 5 if it had the jokes to go along with the story but I had to take a point off for that. Lee doesn't have much to do when he's on the screen. Hope he got paid well. There's a commentary, hope that's interesting.

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Kratt 2020 Written and directed by Rasmus Merivoo. An Estonian film that mixes horror, local mythology and dependence on social media with a nice bunch of jokes.

Mia and Kevin are dropped off with their Grandmother for a few days while their parents attend an Ayhuasca retreat. The parents take the kids cell phones from their sleepy hands and forget to return them. There's complaining in the morning and Grandma tries to keep the kids occupied with chores around the house. On a trip into the town the kids meet up with Juuli and August, a couple of local kids. That's them in the picture, Juuli and August are in the identical stripped shirts.

Mia and Kevin learn about the Kratt, a local legend about a creature made from found objects that's animated by the devil. Grandmother finds the Kratt while the kids are calling the Devil to animate their creation. Grandmother tries to chainsaw the creature but winds up with a scythe through her head. She's turned into the Kratt and she wants some work. Kratt's like a bit of work, if you don't keep them working they'll strangle you. 

In another story thread the local lumberman wants to cut down a forest that's sacred to the town. The locals are protesting but the governor signs off on the permission form. Things aren't going well for the governor, other locals are using the sacred forest to turn the governor into a scapegoat for their ambitions. They've already got a guy in the wings to replace the governor. All their plans are disrupted by the arrival of the Kratt who's wanting to work.

It's a total delight in every way. There's plenty of gags and gore, social commentary on the state of social media and internet dependency, there's even a great fart gag. I enjoyed it from beginning to end and would want to see it again. You can see it on TubiTV or buy the Blu-ray. If you like movies like Rare Exports, you'd probably like this.

Mad God 2021 Written and directed by Phil Tippet. A stop motion animated film that Phil started working on 30 years ago, he worked on it for a while and quit for 20 years before returning to it. While mostly stop motion, there are scenes with actors and director Alex Cox has a part in the film, playing the Last Man.

There's no dialog and the story seems to have little connection to the reality we live in. A character called the Assassin is lowered to a place where creatures prey on each other. There's plenty of gore and torture. It's a dark unpleasant place.

It's ponderously slow, obtuse and deeply personal. That's a hattrick of film no-nos for me. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it or even understood it. It reminded me of the Quay Brothers work from the 1980s. I wouldn't pick up the film on Blu-ray or watch it again. It's on Shudder.