PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Gideon Of Scotland Yard 1958

Gideon Of Scotland Yard 1958 Based on Gideon's Day by John Creasey, screenplay by T E B Clark, directed by John Ford. Yep, the same John Ford you're thinking of, John Wayne and Stagecoach. According to the Wikipedia the film was poorly promoted and released in B&W despite being shot in color. It lost money but not too much. I watched the film on YouTube, it's a nice copy under the original British title of Gideon's Day. It was released in the US as Gideon Of Scotland Yard.

Jack Hawkins plays Detective Chief Inspector George Gideon of the Metropolitan Police. It's a long day for DCI Gideon, he's got a lot of family obligations, then there's all those crooks clambering for his attention. He's got a bent copper, visitors for tea, an escaped mental patient, his daughter's violin recital, a young woman is murdered, his bent copper gets run down and the tire tracks are from the same car that used in recent payroll thefts. He ends the day catching some rich socialites robbing a safety deposit company.

It's a good movie, the script is pretty solid and the cast is even better. Some of my favorite British actors are on the case: Jack Hawkins, Cyril Cusack, Ronald Howard, Howard Marion-Crawford, Laurence Naismith, Anna Lee, Derek Bond, John LeMesurier and Miles Malleson.

I enjoyed it beginning to end. I'd watch it again sometime.

Catagory 7: The End Of The World 2005 TV Miniseries

Catagory 7: The End Of The World 2005 TV Miniseries Written by Christian Ford and Roger Soffer, directed by Dick Lowry. This is a sequel to Category 6: Day Of Destruction. Cat 6 & 7 don't exist on the Saffir–Simpson hurricane wind scale (SSHWS). Cat 5 has winds up to 157 miles per hour. Anything after that you have to use the sandpaper grit scale.

With a cast lead by Randy Quid, Shannen Doherty and Gina Gershon, a bad script, low budget effects, an amazing lack of meteorological knowledge, the movie delivers nearly three hours of pain and suffering. The people in the movie don't do so well either. At least they got sucked off by the storm and smashed to the earth so they no longer have to suffer. I made myself go to the end. It sure wasn't worth it. There's nothing good to be said for this TV movie. Don't watch it. There's a copy on YouTube but I'm not even going to supply the link. I'm doing you a favor.

The Big Switch 1968

The Big Switch 1968 Written and directed by Pete Walker. The second film by Pete, it was shot on location in Brighton. He only made 16 films between 1967 and 1983. They're mostly low budget exploitation crime and horror films. Usually there's plenty of violence and sex. This film is set amongst the strip clubs of Birmingham and there's plenty of ladies getting their kit off.

Some sleazy crooks have developed a plan to smuggle an old gangster back into England. They frame a low level crook for the murder of a woman, they beat him up a bit and force him to pose for pictures with nude women. The pictures are of a rough and sadistic nature. That's just the icing on the poisonous cake. He's going to be the corpse when the gangster is supposedly burned up in an accident. The old gangster will assume his identity after some plastic surgery.

 

It's a  not a good plan for our guy. Lucky for him the criminals keeping an eye on him are pretty dumb and he escapes taking a woman with him, she was slated to die in the accident too. There's usually something happening and the scenery is entertaining to me. Between the talking  bits there's a bit of a punch up and later the action ratchets up a notch with a decent shoot out, it starts in an arcade and spills over onto the Ghost Train ride. Not bad for the most part, I'll give it a bit of a bump up for all those naked ladies running about. You can see a nice enough copy on the Internet Archive, link in the title.

The Calendar 1948

The Calendar 1948 Based on the 1929 Edgar Wallace play The Calendar and the novel of the same name, screenplay by Geoffrey Kerr, directed by Arthur Crabtree. I keep finding films based on Edgar Wallace stories and I watch them even if they're dramas set in the world of British horse racing. There's a 1931 film version of the story that I haven't seen.

John McCallum is Captain Garry Anson, he's a racehorse owner who loses some of his money at the track. His fiancee dumps him and marries a rich guy. Greta Gynt plays the sister of the rich guy, she works for Garry training his horses. The plot revolves around something stupid that Garry does and it takes ages to fix that boner up.

It's not as interesting as most Wallace adaptations but they usually involve more interesting characters and murder.

Science Fiction Sunday 770

Torchwood Series 3 Children Of Earth

The 5 part series was presented one per day between July 6 and 10, 2009.

 

This is the last 5 days in the life of Torchwood Cardiff. Some bad aliens came to Earth in 1965 and Captain Jack gave a dozen children to the invaders to save the Earth. Now the aliens are back and they want 10% of the worlds children. They'll kill off humanity if they don't get what they want.

 

Turns out prepubescent children are filled with fluids the aliens like to ingest, it makes them feel good. The children from 1965 are still alive, strapped to an alien, not growing or dying. Now they want more children. The aliens don't seem to expect anyone to fight back, the human's gave in last time, they expect the same this time.

 

The Prime Minister is a horrible two faced monster that wants to keep the previous alien visit a secret from the rest of the world. He has one of his subordinates order the killing of Captain Jack and the other three living witnesses so the PM doesn't leave his fingerprints on anything incriminating. Peter Capaldi plays the weak kneed civil servant. The PM is caught out in all his lies at the end of the story but sadly, there isn't enough punishment for him on screen. Disappointing Russell, very disappointing.

 

Captain Jack only has Gwen, Rhys and Ianto left at Torchwood. Sadly Ianto doesn't make it through the mess. The teams families are harassed by the evil government and some of them don't get out of this alive. Jack's grandson is one of the victims, used by Jack to transmit a signal to the aliens, it causes them pain and they leave the Earth. Jack's always ready to sacrifice someone to save the rest of humanity. It causes his daughter never to speak to him again. It's lonely at the top.

A big downer of an episode, one bad thing heaped on another, only alleviated by the fast forward button. The series ends with Torchwood done, Jack blasts off to the stars, leaving Gwen and Rhys to get back to their life.

In a couple of years Torchwood returns for a last hurrah in America. It isn't enough to save the show. I didn't really look at the extras this time. Didn't want to waste the time.

The sad thing was before I watched these episodes of Torchwood I watched the return of David Tennant as Doctor Who, it was so much better than this and it was only an hour. I'm more looking forward to the other two episodes more than I'll ever look forward to Torchwood ever again and I have a whole series to go.

The Mummy's Shroud 1967

The Mummy's Shroud 1967 Written by John Gilling and Anthony Hinds, directed by John Gilling. A Hammer film that I don't ever remember seeing in the past. It's not on my watched movie list but that only goes back to 1989.

An archaeologist and a rich guy find a tomb thought to be home to the boy Pharaoh Kah-To-Bey. A flashback tells us of the overthrow of Kah-To-Bey's father and the boy's escape into the desert with his father's servant Prem. The boy dies and Prem takes the boy's medallion. When they open the tomb and find the mummy, it's the medallion that makes them think it's Kah-To-Bey in the tomb. The mummified body is put on display at the Cairo Museum. The scene above is after they've found the grave of Kah-To-Bey, it's Prem propped up in the sarcophagus and the boy Pharaoh in the foreground.

The archaeologist and the rich guy are warned off before they open the tomb but they don't listen. A secret society resurrects the mummy and sure enough it starts killing people. The rich guy takes advantage of the archaeologist and puts him in a mental asylum while he's a bit sick from snake bite. The rich guy wants all the credit for the expedition. The archaeologist escapes the asylum and is killed by the mummy shortly after. Even the rich guy can't escape the creature, it just keeps on coming.

A fairly decent mummy film but no where near as good as The Mummy, the first of the Universal Mummy films. Hammer's film is in color and it looks fine. It's a bit low budget but most of it works well enough. I'd still watch it again. You can see a decent copy on YouTube. Link above.

Cannibal Mercenary 1983

Cannibal Mercenary 1983 Written by George Lam and directed by Hong Lu Wang. A Thai picture.

A cop called Wilson takes a team into the Vietnam jungle to find a war criminal who heads a tribe of cannibals. They don't have a very good trip, just about everyone dies. There's plenty of action, with jungle fighting, some torture and a bit of cannibalism.

I didn't think it was more than average, it's like an Italian cannibal film but not as well made.

I found a copy on YouTube but it's gone already. I found another that has a fun trailer for Cobra Thunderbolt, that looks like it might be better than what I just watched. At least there was a jet pack, there's no jet pack in Cannibal Mercenary. There's also a trailer for a Thai film called Mercenary, it looks like it's a bit of an Apocalypse Now rip off.

Friday Night Movies 970

Rabid Grannies 1988 Written and directed by Emmanuel Kervyn. A Belgium film shot in English for the international market. The film was released by Troma in the US. I saw it years ago but had no memory of any of it. The Troma release is cut by a few minutes. The new Vinegar Syndrome is uncut and nice looking.

 

A couple of rich aunties are having their family over for dinner. The ladies are celebrating their birthdays. The family members are only there to keep on the aunt's good side so they might inherit their wealth when they die. The family are a mixed lot, hardly any of them likable.

 

After dinner the sister's open their presents, one of the which is from an estranged relative who wasn't invited. The present is a small wooden box, it appears to be empty but it really contains some sort of spell, or curse, and a smokey mist floats out and changes the two sisters into demons. That's the second lie in the title, not grannies and no rabies.

The demons are really aggressive, they attack the family and servants, chasing them around the old mansion, picking them off one by one. A few of the guests fight back but hardly anyone survives. There's a good bit of gore and action once the possession takes place.

I enjoyed it and thought it had a nice sense of humor. I doubt I'm going to get the VS Blu-ray. I might want watch it over again someday but it would be pretty far down the re-watch list if I had one.

The Troma VHS and DVD were cut by a few minutes, mostly gore, that footage was made available as an extra on the DVD. The trimmed footage was added back into the Troma Blu-ray in 2015. You can see a decent copy of the untrimmed film on YouTube.

Attack Of The 60 Foot Centerfold 1995 Written by Steve Armogida and directed by Fred Olen Ray. I saw this back in 1997 but had forgotten everything about it.

Three magazine centerfolds are visiting the Hugh Hefner like publisher at his Plaything mansion. They are in the running for Centerfold of the Year. J J North, Tammy Parks and Raelyn Saalman play the gals. There's plenty of nudity from the ladies and plenty of sleaze from the men. J J has been taking a rejuvenating formula, feeling a bit run down before the visit to the mansion she stops into see her doctor for a pick me up. He warns her, one vial a day, no more.J J takes a vial when she gets home. A bit later the doctor's lab has an issue, a couple of their mice have grown to human size, one of them has escaped.

Out at the mansion the gals have a bit of a convo with the publisher and settle into their rooms. This movie. like the previous movie. has a gag involving a person carrying in all the guest's luggage to their bedrooms. Rather than sensibly making two or three trips they gather up all the bags and stumble about. Neither gag is very natural or funny. Most of the humor in RG works better than that joke and most of the gags in AOT60FC aren't funny at all.

After a bit of drinking the night before J J wakes in need of a bit of rejuvenation. Of course she takes 3 vials and that perks her right up. It also makes her grow. Soon she's 60 feet high. Rather than help her the publisher and his photo taking guy are planning to exploit her and dump her in the hands of the government to study. The photographer doesn't call J J's doctor.

J J spends the last half the movie big. Lucky for her, she's got a pal in the photographer's assistant. He's in love with J J, he calls the doctor who luckily has a machine that can reduce her. Before the doc can get to the mansion, Tammy finds J J's stash of rejuvenation juice and gulps down 4 vials. She turns big and the giants have a bit of a dust up on the beach. The fight takes them to LA where the doctor reduces them to normal with the help of a machine. In the lab the reduction ray machine caused one of the giant mice to explode after reduction. The ray works on both gals, shortly after Tammy blows up, killing the sleazy photographer, and leaving J J's fate unknown.

The cast is littered with old timers, John LaZar, George Stover, Michelle Bauer, Ross Hagen, Stanley Livingston, Forrest J Ackerman, Jim Wynorski and Tommy Kirk. Sadly most of them don't have much to do and what the poor script gives them is kind of lame. You can see a poor copy on YouTube, link in the title. I wouldn't recommend it. There's a better copy on Rarelust.

Winter Passing 2005

Winter Passing 2005 Written and directed by Andy Rapp.

Zooey Deschanel is a an actress called Reese, she works as a bartender for her income. She's depressed, takes cocaine and cuts her arms. Reese goes to visit her father Don after she gets an offer of $100,000 for some letters said to be in Don's house. She arrives in the small town to find her father living in the garage. Her father Don, played by Ed Harris, is a famous novelist. Don lives in his garage and a Christian musician called Corbit occupies the house. Will Ferrell plays Corbit, he shares the house with Shelly, a former student of Don's. They sort of take care of Don who's still depressed about the death of his wife. She hung herself in the bedroom and Don didn't want to sleep in the room anymore so he set up in the garage and threw the bedroom furniture out in the yard.

It's not the sort of movie I care for anymore. The actors are fine but there's just too much personal drama for me. I got little time for that. I bought the DVD cheap somewhere, I'll keep it but doubt I'll watch it again.

Cage Of Evil 1960

Cage Of Evil 1960 Story by Orville H Hampton and Alexander Richards, screenplay by Orville H Hampton, directed by Edward L Cahn.

An ambitious but less than clever police detective is sent undercover to get to know the girlfriend of a robbery suspect the police are investigating. The detective falls for the girlfriend and she manipulates him into killing her boyfriend. The plan is to steal the robbery cash and hide out in Mexico. Things don't go according to plan.

 

A rather predictable and somewhat contrived story that reminds me that some men are easily manipulated. I could sure see where it was going pretty early on.

I didn't know many of the cast but I knew Ted Knight from The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Patricia Blair from Daniel Boone and The Rifleman. I doubt I'd need to watch it again in the future. I watched it on YouTube and so can you. You might get a laugh out of it.