PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Science Fiction Sunday 788

Solum 2019 Written by Diogo Morgado and Pedro Morgado, directed by Diogo Morgado. A Portuguese SF film shot on San Miguel in the Azores.

A group of people seem to be on a Survivor reality show, they have to survive on an isolated island without much by way of equipment. There's an extraction point somewhere on the island, if they can't get there because they are hurt or something like that, they have a remote control to summon help. One lady breaks her ankle fairly quickly, she presses the button and is killed.

Some of the other men and women pair up to help each other. One guy starts chasing the others and shooting at him with his bow and arrow. Scuffles break out and occasionally someone get killed. While that's going on we get some info on what's going on behind the scenes. All the contestants are really on a spaceship above the planet and avatars are acting out the game on the island. Some aliens are helping the humans and their failing planet by pitting them against each other, saving only the best humans. What dicks the aliens are. Why would they do that?

Unfortunately it's told in such a sloppy way that it's hard to work out what happened. The acting is fair to poor. The scenery is nice but I'm not here for that. I wouldn't want to watch it again. I watched it on YouTube. You can too.

Ezzy 2022 Written by Monon Pages and Jeremie Sery, directed by Jeremie Sery. A US film shot in New Orleans with a budget of about $1000. I was the first to rate it on the IMDb. I wasn't too generous. I could not find any poster for the film so I used the title illo from the film. Like most of the effects it's pretty amateurish.

The movie is set in an fictitious country who's southern most city has been invaded by a country to the south. The story is about a young woman trying to escape the city and go north. She has to raise a bunch of money to get out of the city.

It's a dull story with a bunch of characters that I'm not that keen on. Most of them get killed so it doesn't matter. The only thing I liked was the blonde in a bikini. No reason to ever watch it again. I wouldn't recommend it but there's a link in the title. Why anyone would click on that I just don't know.

Friday Night Movies 988

Smile 2022 Written and directed by Parker Finn. It's his first movie, he'd directed a couple of shorts, he's doing a sequel to this movie and it's due later this year. The movie did well at the box office, raking in $216 mil on a $17 mil budget.

A psychiatrist meets a disturbed young woman who kills herself during their initial meeting. More disturbing things happen as the psychiatrist discovers there's some sort of evil entity that kills by inhabiting the person who's just seen the suicide. The psychiatrist falls apart as the evil inhabits her. Her ex-boyfriend is a cop and between them they figure out what's going on. There's also a whole second plot as the psychiatrist works out the trauma from her mother's suicide.

It's 115 mins and rather dull at times. There's a lot of staring into faces and faces staring at nothing. It could easily be trimmed of a lot of the vague symbolism and dead air. Other's might like the slow pace but I'm wishing the story would get on with the story. It looks good and the effects are fine. It wouldn't bother picking up a copy as I doubt I'd bother re-watching it. I'd check out the sequel, maybe we'll find out what happens to the cop.

Dr Terror's House Of Horrors 1965 Written by Milton Subotsky and directed by Freddie Francis. An anthology film from Amicus Productions. They did a series of anthology films in the 60s and 70s. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome 4K disc. It looks nice.

Six men share a train compartment. The man in the hat, Peter Cushing as Dr Shreck, gives them a tarot card reading and tells them a story about themselves. All the stories are different but all lead to something horrible happening to the man. There's a bit of a twist at the end.

I thought it was fairly entertaining. It moves along briskly and there's a bit of humor in the pay off for each story. I pretty sure I had seen it in the past but it's not on my watched movie list. I don't have a copy but I might pick one up. I'd watch it again sometime. You can see a copy on YouTube, link above.

Meet Mr Lucifer 1953

Meet Mr Lucifer 1953 Based on the play Beggar My Neighborhood by Arnold Ridley, screenplay by Monja Danischewsky with additional dialog by Peter Myers and Alec Grahame, directed by Anthony Pelissier.

Stanley Holloway plays two roles, a crotchety drunken actor who's playing the devil in a pantomime of Robinson Caruso. Joan Sims plays the Fairy Queen and Ian Carmichael plays Man Friday in blackface. Stanley hits his head using the stage elevator and briefly visits with the Devil. He offers Stanley a job helping him ruin people's lives with Television. Stanley takes the job.

Mr Pedelty gets given a TV set on the day he retires. He takes it home and sets it. Soon visitors are weaseling their way into his flat. He runs up some bills, for food and booze, with the local tradesmen while he entertains his guests.

Mr Pedelty sells the TV to the young couple in the flat above. They get stuck with the guests. Peggy Cummings plays the wife Kitty and Jack Watling plays the hubby Jim. The constant TV crowd bothers Jim while he's trying to study for his pharmacy exam, things get tense, after a bad bit the couple split. After Stanley tells Jim what he's been up for the Devil Jim gifts the TV to his co-worker, the chemist he doesn't like. The chemist falls for The Lonely Hearts Singer and goes into a depression when the show takes a break. His depression causes him to run the phamacy poorly and the shop loses money for his aunt, the owner. Gordon Jackson plays the co-worker and Kay Kendall is the singer. Eventually everything works out for most of the characters. 

It's amusing and rather naive. There are jokes and bits of fun business going on. I particularly liked the square dance scenes. I thought it was a bit better than average and gave it a 6 on the IMDb where it's score is 5.9. I saw it mentioned somewhere and thought I'd see if I could find a copy. I found one on Rarelust. I watched it this afternoon and a bit ago found that I already had it on DVD. It's part of Network's The Ealing Studios series. That's part of their British Film series. Sadly Network closed last year. I'm missing them.

Science Fiction Sunday 787

Ares 11 2016 Written and directed by Robert Goodrich. This is his first feature and it looks like his last feature.

It's a story about an orbiting spacecraft observing the Earth. The guy in charge of the observing is spending too much time talking to his pretty co-worker and doesn't notice the approaching missile until it's too close to get out of the way. The ship is damaged and there's only enough oxygen to get 2 of the 4 people on board back to Earth. They'll have to draw lots to see who takes the poison pill.

The unobservant guy looses the draw. He puts up such a fuss they have to choke him to death. He was a real POS, making me wonder about the state of their space program. Things get a bit worse and the movie was over. Glad to see the back of that story. Not planning to watch that one again. I wouldn't even bother to download it and I save all sorts of garbage. You can see it on YouTube, link above.

Lightning Strikes 2009 Written by and uncredited Rafael Jordan and directed by Gary Jones. Gary directed 3 episodes of Xena and 1 of Hercules. His first film was Mosquito in 1994. I saw that and it's a barely average, his 2000 film Spiders was a bit worse and most everything he's directed since barely gets up over a 4 on the IMDb. It's a film that was made in Bulgaria for $2,000,000. The sets are cheap looking and there aren't enough extras to make a town festival believable.

Kevin Sorbo is the sheriff of a town that's about to have it's annual pumpkin festival when strange lightning storms start killing people. A car is attacked by lightning, it cuts the car in two, the mother and son survive only to have the lightning chase them into the woods. The son is killed and the mother stunned.

The Sheriff gets out there, no one can explain how the car was cut in two. They find the woman and her son and take them back to the town. A trio of climatologists show up investigating high intensity lightning. They think the storm is going to be so severe that they tell the mayor that they should postpone the festival. He's not having any of that and there are dire consequences.

David Schofield shows up, he's playing a guy who's been tracking intense lightning storms since lightning killed his son. He thinks there's evil in the lightning, despite no one believing him it turns out to be true. They even put the creature on the poster. Things go bad for the townies and the scientists as the battle ramps up.

It wasn't great or anything, a mere copy of other, better films, but it held together most of the way to the end. It's just so unoriginal. I got to the end and gave it a generous 4 on the IMDb. I wouldn't bother watching it again.

Friday Night Movies 987

Scissorpenis 2018 Written and directed by Naoyuki Tomomatsu.

Wow. We weren't expecting that. There needs to be some fiery retribution from the flaming skull of Paul Naschy.

Out Of Order 1984 Written by Carl Schenkel and Frank Göhre, directed by Carl Schenkel. A West German crime drama set in the stalled elevator in an office building.

Four characters enter an elevator, the oldest guy just robbed his employer for over a half million, a couple who are lovers on the wain and a younger guy who stirs up trouble between them. Rather than wait for help they get active and things go south for them quickly. Someone's gonna die.

It's alright but not something I'd need to watch again.

You Pay Your Money 1957

You Pay Your Money 1957 Written by Michael Cronin and Maclean Rogers, directed by Maclean Rogers.

Honor Blackman and Hugh McDermott are Susie and Bob Westlake, they're helping a man sell some rare books. Some crazy political characters think a rare book in the collection, an Arabic manuscript by 14th century seer Achemd, has the key to winning their revolution in the Middle East.

It was produced by Butcher's Film Service who get a back handed compliment from The Radio Times: "The much maligned Butcher's Film Service holds an unenviable place in the history of British cinema. By sponsoring dozens of low-budget programmers, it enabled young talent on both sides of the camera to gain an industry foothold. Yet it mostly churned out dismal offerings such as this tale of kidnap and rare book smuggling, which is given only the merest modicum of respectability by the presence of Hugh McDermott and Honor Blackman."

TV Guide isn't very complimentary either when they wrote: "... the execution is top notch, but the witlessness of the story rankles."

I thought it pretty average and it was nice to see Honor Blackman. Kind of doubtful I'll get back to it anytime soon.

Dr Terrible's House Of Horrible Series 1

Dr Terrible's House Of Horrible Series 1 Created and written by Graham Duff, directed by Matt Lipsey. A single series of 6 episodes that aired in November and December 2001. Graham is the creator/writer of Ideal. That's one of my favorite sitcoms.

The episodes are parodies of horror films by companies like Hammer and Amicus. Here's the tiles and descriptions form the Wikipedia.

Lesbian Vampire Lovers of Lust Hans Brocken and his lovely new virgin wife Carmina are on their honeymoon when they encounter a castle owned by the mysterious Countess Kronstien. She and her ladies seem unusually interested in Carmina. Spoofs Hammer Films Productions films, especially the Karnstein Trilogy  (1970–71).

Frenzy of Tongs Gentleman inventor Nathan Blaze must battle the inscrutable Chinese criminal Hang Man Chan in turn-of-the-century London. Spoofs Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu character, Hammer Film Productions' The Terror Of The Tongs(1961), and the Doctor Who serial The Talons Of Weng-Chaing (1977).

Curse of the Blood of the Lizard of Doom Dr Donald Baxter's experiment with burn victims lead him down a dangerous path as he uses the regenerative powers of lizards on his patients with terrifying results.

And Now the Fearing... Three people trapped in a lift retell their recent nightmares in 1970s London. Spoofs Amicus Productions' The Vault Of Horror (1973).

Voodoo Feet of Death A famous ballroom dancer loses his feet to a pair of gigantic scissors. After a quick foot transplant his feet start taking on a murderous mind of their own. Spoofs The Hands Of Orlac (1960).

Scream Satan Scream! Witch locator Captain Tobias Slater travels the north of England accusing beautiful young women of being witches and to avoid the pyre they must sleep with him, until he runs across a real coven and Slater is cursed. Spoofs Witchfinder General (1968) and Cry Of The Banshee (1970).

Steve Coogan plays the host that introduces the episodes and the main character in the story. I'm not that big a Coogan fan but he's mostly OK. Plenty of other entertaining cast members to enjoy. The stories are OK, I laughed at some more than others. I might get around to it sometime again in the future. Who knows.

The Avengers Series 6

The Avengers Series 6

I finally got though the 8 discs of the 6th series and enjoyed most of them. There were a few rough spots. The producers replace Brian Clemens and Albert Fennell with John Bryce who had been a producer for most of the Cathy Gale episodes. They wanted a more realistic show. Bryce hired his girlfriend Linda Thorson to play Steed's new co-worker Tara King. Bryce shot 3 episodes before they pulled him off the program and brought Clemens and Fennell back, they did what they could with the situation and pulled the producers fat out of the fire

Most of the episodes were watchable and enjoyable. Now I can pack that away until the next go through.

Science Fiction Sunday 786

Quantum Voyage 2016 Written by Mark Steven Grove and directed by Mark Daniels. The movie was filmed in 2011 but not released until December 2, 2016. It was originally titled Mind's Eye, then it was called The Black Hole and finally released internationally as Quantum Voyage. The YouTube video in the link above is the Quantum Voyage title.

No wonder Dean looks so scared on the poster. I bet he's wondering if anyone is going to see the movie. Either that or he's read the script and he knows word of mouth isn't going to help sell this movie either. It's all about quantum entanglement and I'm certainly not going to recommend it.

A gal and her scientist friends save the world from collapsing time and space. Plenty of talking and sitting about. It didn't work hard enough to keep my attention. The story is meandering with plenty of short scenes and meaningless dialog. Some people liked it on the IMDb but they weren't enough to get the score up above 3.1.

Wasteland 2013 Written by Tommy Drapper and directed by Tom Wadlow.

A British zombie film set in a post apocalypse UK. An I Am Legend imitator that doesn't try too hard to be interesting or innovative. I thought it had a weak script and cast. That might be why it has a 3.3 score over at the IMDb. I gave it a 3. I wouldn't need to see it again.You can test drive it on YouTube, click the link above.

Friday Night Movies 986

 

Samurai Resurrection 2003 Based on a novel by Fûtarô Yamada, screenplay by Satoko Okudera, direction by Hideyuki Hirayama.

A Japanese Christian leader is killed and somehow resurrected. He resurrects other dead martial arts heroes and moves toward Edo where the Shogun is dying. He wants to take over Japan. Jubei Yagyu is working to stop him. One of the other viewers said this might be the only movie where a Yagyu is the hero.

There's plenty of fighting and the action is pretty good. The story jumps around and introduces a good number of characters. At times I was finding it hard to follow the story. There's a good bit of CGI, especially supplying scenes of a distant castle, some of it was quite good. I doubt I need a copy but it was still entertaining.

The Night Of The Hunted 1980 Written and directed by Jean Rollins.

Rollin offered to make a horror movie to a producer who asked for a porn film. Same budget and he'd make in 9 days instead of 10. Jean got the nod and he made a horror film about the treatment of people who were damaged by exposure to radiation. The main symptom is loss of memory as the cells in their brains decay. The victims are housed in a guarded building and overseen by a doctor who really can't do anything for them. The government is keeping it all hush hush.

I can't say I thought it was bad but there wasn't enough story. Mostly it seemed like an excuse to get the actors out of their clothes. Despite the shagging it's not a hardcore film like many of his works were. That's only partially true. The version we saw was the original release, it has not hardcore scenes. The film didn't make much money so the producer shot new hardcore scenes to re-release the film in another market. Pornstar Brigitte Lahaie appeared in several of Rollins non-hardcore films. She does OK as one of the victims who lost her memory.

From the Rollin Wikipedia page: Rollin himself had stated that "I don't think it is a very good film and it is probably one of my worst" and that if he could remake just one of his films it would be La nuit des traquées.

In the 60s and 70s Rollin made a reputation with lot of erotic horror films that were awash with naked vampires and sexy times. He had a decent following from them, people still write glowing articles about him. They weren't popular enough to pay well so he turned to making porn. I haven't seen much by him and what I saw didn't turn me into a more serious fan.