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Underground Terror 1989 Written by Brian O'Hara and Bob Zimmerman, directed by James McCalmont.
Rather dreary cop and reporter vs a gang of thugs who live in the New York underground. The only terror is knowing it's 91 mins long. I saw a piss poor copy on YouTube. I wouldn't recommend it, save that 90 mins for something better.
Mill Of The Stone Women 1960 Story by Remigio Del Grosso, screenplay by Remigio Del Grosso, Ugo Liberatore, Giorgio Stegani and Giorgio Ferroni, directed by Giorgio Ferroni. An Italian horror movie that has a vague SF element.
A writer called Hans travels to Holland to interview an art professor and see the Mill of Stone Women. It's an animated clockwork carousel of grotesque deformed women. The professor has sculpted the stone figures. It's built in an old windmill and occasionally open to the public.
Hans gets to stay in the run down mill where he meets the professor's daughter Elfie. The professor explains to Hans that his daughter has an aliment, one that her mother had, one that could kill her quite suddenly. The professor keeps a disbarred doctor around, one who's got a serum that will revive the dead. That's the vague SF element.
Liselotte, Hans' girlfriend, comes to visit Hans, that makes Elfie jealous. She wants Hans for herself, she wants him to take her away from the mill. He's not that keen on that plan and that winds up Elfie to the point where she collapses and dies.
That's not too much of a problem for the professor and his pet doctor. They kidnap a local lady, suck the blood out of her and resurrect Elfie. Things go steadily downhill and fire becomes the cleansing agent. Hans and his girlfriend manages to escape the blaze.
Generally it's about average. There's a Blu-ray out with four versions of the film. I can't see buying that, I don't think I want to spend that much time with the film. I saw it on YouTube. I'd watch it again but it's pretty low down on the rewatch list.
The Substance 2024Written and directed by Coralie Fargeat.
Demi Moore is a 50 year old actor named Elisabeth. She's being tossed out of her TV exercise show and replaced by a younger woman. Dennis Quid is her boss Harvey, he's a greasy pig of a man. Margaret Qualley is Demi's alter ego Sue, she appears out of Elisabeth's body after she takes a doggy medical procedure. That's what caused the big ass scar on her back in the poster.
The medical procedure starts with an injection of the activator. It causes a younger body to grow inside of her body. The process only takes a short while before it rips through Elisabeth's back leaving that big ass opening. To make the split work there are a series of daily injections. It's a disappointing treatment, Elisabeth doesn't actually become young, she calves a younger version of herself that spends a week awake followed by a week awake for Elisabeth. The sleeping body gets a package of goo feed to it intravenously. Supposedly the two share one conscience and must follow the routine or there will be consequences.
Sue applies for Elizabeth's job and gets it. She's enjoying her freedom and youth so much she starts being selfish and breaking the rules. First Elisabeth's finger withers. Eventually it gets so bad that Elisabeth turns into a hideous lump of flesh who just wants to be admired by her fans. When she goes to the studio to appear in Sue's TV special the audience reacts in horror. The big goopy ending is rather funny.
Some commenter on the IMDb compared the movie to The Toxic Avenger. I can see the similarity but TTA was rather more entertaining. I'd rather watch that over than The Substance. In the end I was reminded not to take medical treatments from a dirty alley in a rundown part of town. A good lesson learned from many movies, that trick never works.
In The Dust Of The Stars 1976 Written and directed by Gottfried Kolditz. An East German SF film we watched on DVD back in 2009. You can read it, I'm pretty much of the same opinion. None of the links work anymore. We watched the Deaf Crocodile Blu-ray box set it shares with Signals.
The crew of the spaceship Cynro receive a distress call from the planet Tem 4. The leader of Tem 4 says it was a mistake and everything's fine. It's not, the leader of Tem 4, The Boss and his minion Ronk are big liars who are up to something. Ronk invites the crew to a party, everyone goes but Suko, the ships navigator. Other weird stuff happens, it's finally revealed that Ronk and The Boss have slaves in their mine. The slaves revolt, Suko is killed and Captain stays behind for some reason.
I'm sure the film looks nicer than the old DVD we watched ages ago. I liked it better this time despite it's rather pokey pace. It's definitely goofy.
Freckled Max And The Spooks 1987 Based on the Allan Rune Pettersson novel Frankenstein's Aunt, written by Jaroslav Dietl, Joachim Hammann, Juraj Jakubisko, Jozef Pastéka and Alan Rune Pettersson, directed by Juraj Jakubisko.
The 7 episode TV production of Frankenstein's Aunt was cut down into a 96 min film. You can see the TV show on YouTube, sadly in German with German subtitles. I used the Easy YouTube Video Downloader to download them and add AI generated subtitles. They subtitles seem Ok but the image is only 480p, rather fuzzy. I'm game to watch the program but who knows when I'll get to it. The 7 episodes run 52 mins each, that's a lot of missing material even after removing all the credit bits.
Frankenstein's aunt Hannah wants to find a bride for her nephew so he can carry on the family name. Frankenstein's monster is called Albert. Max is a little orphan boy who stumbles into a castle filled with the sort of fun stuff you'd find in older type horror film, the series was intended honor the Universal Monster Films of the 30-40s but with a humorous bent aimed at kids. Albert is a dumb monster but he means well. Plenty of slapstick and wall smashing going on.
There's a few people in the cast I knew, Ferdy Mayne plays Dracula, similar to his Count von Krolock in The Fearless Vampire Killers. I knew Eddie Constantine and Viveca Lindfors but everyone else was a stranger.
The story is fun, there's plenty of noise and slapstick but I was tired and having trouble staying awake. I don't think I missed much but details are weak in the noggin the following morning. I might want to see it again sometime but it wouldn't be for a while. I wouldn't be picking up the Blu-ray.
The Nesting 1981 Written by Daria Price and Armand Weston, directed by Armand Weston.
A writer called Lauren has past mental health issues and agoraphobia. She lives in New York and doesn't like going out on the street, often panicking and returning home before her errand is done. Lauren decides to rent a house in the country to see if she fares better there than the city. The place she picks is a rundown haunted house that was used as a brothel during WW2. It's an octagonal house that's been rotting away for years and years. Oddly the house appears similar to the house that's drawn on the cover of her book The Nesting.
A series of bad events happen. Lauren gets trapped outside the dome of the house, she's an idiot and shouldn't have been there in the first place. Her psychiatrist falls to his death trying to rescue her. Then Lauren is attacked by her handyman Frank, she escapes and ghosts drag him into the lake. She's attacked by Frank's pal Abner, he chases her about before she hacks his face with a scythe. The police believe her story, no one cares for Abner anyway. Both scenes are clumsy. I did like the ghosts in the lake bit.
John Carradine plays the owner of the house, he tells a story about the last day of the brothel. Frank and Abner broke into the place, stole a baby and killed several johns and prostitutes. The bodies went into the same pond that disappeared Frank. Turns out the madame was Lauren's mother and Lauren was the stolen baby, she winds up in foster care.
It's overly long, 103 mins, and that's not a help for the below average script. It drags at times and spending more time with the annoying Lauren isn't much fun. It's more like a made for TV movie, other than there's a bit of nudity. A good reminder not to date the mentally disturbed. I don't think I'd need to see it again.
Matlock Series 1 2024 Based on the old Matlock series, developed by Jennie Snyder Uman. Kathy Bates stars as Matlock, a law talkin' lady with vengeance in her heart. Nineteen episodes aired over the last quarter of 2024 and the first quarter of 2025.
I actually decided to watch the series because of Kathy Bates. I didn't really know any of the cast, other than Beau Bridges and Sam Anderson. Kate, playing Matty Matlock, joins a law firm to dig out who in the firm covered up some evidence in a pharmaceutical trail that might have meant opiates would be taken off the market much sooner than they were. Matty's daughter died from opiates. Her husband and grandson help with the investigation. It's all rather conflict creating.
Matty proves to be clever and resourceful, helping win some cases. Little by little she works her way into the firm and finds out the truth about the evidence that went missing. I enjoyed the law wielding action but started fast forwarding through some of the personal drama. Sometimes it seems to overwhelm the case. I got to the end, a bag full of cliffhangers and wide open doors, and decided I wouldn't bother with them again. I might watch the 2nd series when it rolls around. I'm trying to get caught up on the TV I've got stashed away to watch and I'm being more ruthless when it comes to keeping stuff for another go around.
Tales From The Third Dimension 1984 Written by Worth Keeter, Thorn McIntyre and Todd Durham, directed by Earl Owensby, Worth Keeter, Thorn McIntyre and Todd Durham. An anthology movie that was released in 3D. One of 6 3D films that Earl Owensby released in the 1980s. He made plenty of other low budget 2D films, aimed at the exploitation market, working out of his own studio in Shelby, North Carolina. Here's a video about the old property, long abandoned.
In the first short a vampire couple want to adopt another child, they already have four. The child they send along has been called a problem child. In the second short some robbers want to rob a tomb in a graveyard. It was a big mistake on their part. In the last short a couple of kids are dumped off at their grandmother's place while the parents take a trip. Granny runs of her medication and she turns mean. Santa Claus comes to the children's rescue.
The shorts were somewhat entertaining but over all the movie is below average. I found a crappy copy on YouTube but's it's gone now. No matter I wouldn't need to see it again.
Escape 2120 2020 Based on The Magician's Horses by Brian K Bennett, he also wrote the screenplay and directed. A science fiction time travel movie.
A guy is hired by some scientists to help them with their time travel project. They've built a foil lined box that keeps them in some sort of stasis. The guy's job is to take care of their hiding place. Thing happen, I got bored and I could barely finish the movie.
The script is sloppy and weak, the acting amateurish, the production values are nearly non-existent. I saw it on YouTube and I'm not supplying a link. You shouldn't waste your time.
Alien Intervention 2023 Written by Adam Seidel and directed by Janet Grillo. A science fiction movie about a visiting alien.
A woman lives in a rundown motel with her husband and elderly mother. She'd like to turn it into an artist colony. Her parents ran the place for years. Twenty five years previous she meet an alien in the nearby desert. The alien gave her a blue rock before he got arrested by the government. He told her to keep it safe. He'd be back. He shows up in the present day to retrieve the blue rock so he can catch a storm to his home planet. The alien leaves her a big briefcase filled with cash. I'd like to meet that benevolent alien. It's a bit better than the previous but still below average. I wouldn't need to watch it again.
Bohachi Bushido: Code Of The Forgotten Eight 1973 Based on the manga Bohachi Bushido by Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima, screenplay by Susumu Saji, directed by Teruo Ishi. A Japanese erotic action film set in the past.
An assassin called Shinō Ashita escapes some samurai by jumping into a river, members of the Bohachi clan rescue him. The head of the Bohachi offers him the job of killing the customers of the local low end prostitution rings operating out of tea houses in Edo. They're cutting into the Bohachi's trade. Ashita is ordered to bring the sex workers to the Bohachi clan, they have a royal warrant to run the Yoshiwara in Edo, they need huge flocks of naked ladies to supply their customers with good times. The Yoshiwara is a designated prostitution area. The Bohachi's warrant literately lets them get away with murder making Ashita safe from getting arrested for killing the local johns.
The Bohachi have a strict code of conduct that forgets the 8 traditional virtues, justice, courage, benevolence, politeness, honesty, honor, loyalty and self-control. Any deviation from the code usually leads to death for the rule breaker. The leader of the Bohachi is Shirobei Daimon. He assigns 5 lady ninja's to keep an eye on Ashita, they run around naked a lot. Sending them back to the Yoshiwara turns Daimon against Ashita and they all fight among themselves until the Bohachi clan is nearly destroyed.
The film is packed with sword fights and sex. There's acres of naked skin on screen. For an action nudie flick it's well made and very colorful. It's quite entertaining and a movie I'd watch again some time.
Postal 2007 Written by Uwe Boll and Bryan C Knight, directed by Ewe Boll. It's based on the Running With Scissors game called Postal. Boll was interested in the project because of the game's political incorrectness.
Zack Ward plays a loser who's lacking a job on top of all his other problems. He lives in a filthy trailer in a rundown park with his enormous wife. She's a vile monster who bangs all the locals while poor Zack is out of the trailer. Zack's uncle is played by Dave Foley, he's set up in a doomsday religious cult's compound with his followers. Sadly he's neglected to pay taxes and he could face some jail time. Dave's got a plan to raise some money, he's going to steal some Krotchy Dolls, they're penis shaped dolls that have become rare because of a shipping accident in which the production run was almost completely destroyed. They're selling for $4000 each and there's a stock of 2,000 in the German themed amusement park called Little Germany.
Osama bin Laden and his men also plan to steal the dolls, they want to hide a virus in them, this way they can kill thousands of Americans. Dave and his gals manage to get the dolls into a truck with Zack's help. There's plenty of gun fights among the terrorists, Dave's followers and the locals. Everyone has guns and an unlimited supply of bullets. Most of the characters get slaughtered but Zack manages to escape with his new lady friend. Lucky for him his awful wife gets blown up in the trailer park. She could have escaped but she was too fat to get out of the trailer's door. The movie ends with George W Bush and Osama romping in a field as the nukes rain down.
It's a comedy and it's packed with jokes. Not all the jokes are good ones but occasionally there's a laugh. Sometimes the laugh is one of those "what did we just see" sorts. It's definitely not for the squeamish. The critics hated it, justifiably so, and it did really poorly at the box office. That's typical of Uwe's movies , most of which were box office failures, this one made less than $150K on a $15 million budget. Uwe's not a good film maker, his only skill seems to be in raising a budget. Despite his poor track record he continues to make films. I enjoyed the film and would see it again. I can't say that about the other Boll films I've seen.
Takin' It Off 1985 Written by Bob Canning and Ed Hansen, directed by Ed Hansen. Ed's big claim to fame, to me, is he was an editor on The Bullwinkle Show from 1959 to 1963. Starting in 1983 he made 13 films, he stopped in 1995 and died in 2005. I've only seen this film, I'm not likely to search the others out.
Kitten Natividad stars in this rather low rent Russ Meyer's type nudie film about a stripper who wants to be an actress. That's the plot, the script is rather poor and the jokes are broad and weak. There's not much going on. It's more and excuse to wave some nudie boobies around. Kitten and Meyer lived together off in the 1970s and 1980s. He paid for her breast implants and that's about the most interesting thing related to the movie. There's no good reason to want to watch it. Angelique Pettyjohn is the only recognizable name in the cast, at least to me.
No Heroics Series 1 Created by Drew Pearce. One series of 6 episodes aired in September and October of 2008.
No Heroics universe is simulated to ours but it's populated with superheroes. Locally they're nicknamed Capes. Many are good and helpful, some are so much less so. A little group of lesser Capes hang out at the superhero pub The Fortress.The club doesn't allow superheros to wear costumes or use their powers. It's rather like a normal pub otherwise.
The group we follow along with are:
Nicholas Burns - Alex - The Hotness - controls fire.
Claire Keelan - Sarah - Electroclash - controls machines.
James Lance - Don - Timebomb - can see 60 seconds into the future.
Rebekah Staton - Jenny - She Force - World's third strongest woman.
Their main annoyance is Excelsor, he's a full of himself superhero that has plenty of powers and exciting pieces on the news. He especially likes picking on The Hotness. Jim Howick plays Simon the bouncer, he's the Thundermonkey and he can summon monkeys to kick your ass. If you wait around for them to arrive by delivery service, it may take a couple of hours for them to show up. Sometimes the baddies just go home. Steve Speirs plays Norse Dave, he's the bartender, we never learn much of anything about him.
Alex and Sarah used to date, now they're that annoying couple that bicker, Don is gay, rather dark and always on the pull, Jenny and Sarah used to be a super duo, they didn't last too long, they weren't very good, Jenny has trouble with dating.
I liked the scripts, I found some nice funny bits and some nice dark bits, I even laughed out loud a few times. People compare it to Mystery Men but it's more like The Specials. I was happy to see it and hope to watch it again before the end of time.