PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

I Only Arsked 1958

I Only Arsked 1958 Screenplay by Sid Colin and Jack Davies, directed by Montgomery Tully. A Hammer-Granada production that was based on the TV series The Army Game.

Bernard Bresslaw, Michael Medwin, Alfie Bass, David Lodge, Norman Rossington and Charles Hawtrey are useless army soldiers who are sent to the Middle East to help a King and his oil fields. They get stuck in the middle of coup but bumble their way to a happy ending.

It's a pretty simple and familiar tale with a few jokes, mostly of the physical sort. I liked it well enough but couldn't give it more than a 5 on the IMDb. You can see a copy on YouTube, see link above.

Friday Night Movies 944

A Boy And His Samurai 2010 Based on Fushigi no Kuni no Yasubei by Gen Araki, screenplay and direction by Yoshihiro Nakamura. Yoshihiro is the director of Fish Story. That's the only other movie of his I've seen.

This movie is a fish out of water comedy, a samurai from late 1800s Edo is transported to modern day Toyko. Kijima's there for a few months and he learns a different life style. A lady named Yusa takes Kijima in and her son Tomoya bonds with him.

Kijima learns to bake delicious desserts and he gets a job after winning a contest. He becomes too attentive to his job and neglects the family. Things go bad before they get better.

It's a charming movie. It's a bit slow going but I was entertained. It's got a few laughs and some jeopardy. Things end on a good note. You can see a nice copy over on Dailymotion.

The Hyperions 2020 Story, screenplay (with additional material by Mike Timm) and direction by Jon McDonald.

There's way too much dysfunctional family in the story. In 1960 Professor Ruckus Mandulbaum invented a badge that gives the wearer a superpower. He chose two orphan children and a slightly older woman to be his super hero team. Vista didn't adjust well and she ran off after using her power to control people's minds to force the Professor to give up a pile of cash and a special device. She left the Professor her badge.

The Professor got rid of Ansel, taking his badge away, and found more youngsters to replace them. That was in 1965, fourteen years later Vista and Ansel are trying to steal the badges from the Hyperion museum. Vista needs them to recover her daughter from another ex-Hyperion who wants his badge back. The baddie was on the second team, they got tossed aside after a few years and the Professor is hunting for a new team.

Everybody's got daddy issues and they are all in a bit of a mess. The movie is a bit of a mess. There's some jokes but they are a bit few and far between. It's rather slow and the characters are annoying at times. It reminds me how good The Specials is and I should watch it again sometime soon. I'd watch that before I'd get around to The Hyperions again.

Legends Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977

Legend Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977 Screenplay by Masaru Igami, Isao Matsumoto and Ichirô Ôtsu, directed by Junji Kurata.

 

Made by Toei Company, the studio was inspired by Jaws, the film did poorly in the Japanese theaters but was a block buster in the Soviet Union. It was known in the US as The Legend Of Dinosaurs and it was used in the last episode of the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 which was produced by KTMA. That version was chopped up a good bit, the original movie got a US DVD release in 2007 from Media Blasters and that's what I watched.

A woman falls into a cavern, in the Aokigahara region near Mount Fuji, she awakes to find fossilized eggs, one of which hatches. She runs off and scares a construction crew with her hysterics. A geologist called Takashi goes to take a look, while hiking around Mount Fuji he's knocked out and wakes up in the cabin of a family friend. Takashi continues his hunt for the eggs, on the way he meets an old girlfriend Akiko. She's there with her friend Junko, a scuba diver, who wants to dive in the lake where a couple in a small boat went missing.

A diver is injured in the lake, livestock have gone missing, wild theories of living dinosaurs are tossed out to the dubious public. Well, turns out it wasn't a dinosaur, it was two, one of them a plesiosaurus and the other a rhamporhynchus. The pair battle it out and the volcano erupts killing both dinos. It's a bad day on Mount Fuji and the movie ends on a cliffhanger.

I was much more entertained by the movie than on MST3K. It was like seeing a whole different movie, the MST3K version had so much trimmed out of it. It's a more adult film than I thought, there's a bit of gore, mild by today's standards and a brief bit of nudity. I'd watch it again.

I'm not sure why it did so poorly in the Japanese box office. It was Toei's biggest budget, $2.8 million and it didn't even get a third of that back in receipts. It never got released theatrically in the US but it was released to TV in 1987.

Friday Night Movies 943

Alien From The Abyss 1989 Written by Tito Carpi and directed by Antonio Margheriti. This film was not released in the US until the new Severin Blu-ray. We watched that and it looked pretty good.

A couple of activists sneak onto an island where a geothermal power company is dumping radioactive waste into a volcano. They get a bit of footage on a VHS tape before getting spotted. The guy hides the tape and runs off one way and the gal runs off another. He gets caught and she meets up with a guy who lives on the island collecting snake venom. 

It slows down for a while and picks up in the last act when the monster starts attacking the plant. It's not an inspiring monster but there's carnage for a while, then the movie is over. It's pretty average and I can't for the life of me figure out why it never got released here until now. It got released other places, mostly it seems on VHS. It's just not as bad as I might joke it is, certainly Anthony has directed worse but it's not inspiring me to buy a copy. I see you can download a copy over at Rarelust where it's under the title Alien From The Deep. Not sure I'd bother, I've got so many movies that need watching for the first time.

Mayhem 2017 Written by Matias Caruso and directed by Joe Lynch. I've only seen a couple of Joe's films, Chillerama, Knights Of Badassdom and the 2019 Creepshow TV series. Joe mostly works in the horror genre.

A lawyer explains the current virus that's attacking the world pop. It takes the victim on an 8 hour trip with hallucinations, violent rage and naughty impulses. A recent court case had a man infected with the virus kill a man in a rage, he walked free because he wasn't in control, the virus was.

The day his co-worker throws him under the bus is the day the virus puts the giant law firm into quarantine. The lawyer is framed, blamed, fired and marched out of the building just a bit too late, the quarantine cops are blocking the doors. It's a quick acting virus, the firm is a mean spirited place to start with, the staff has a good reason for fighting. They aren't very good at physical fighting, they're used to fighting with words.

Soon as the virus gets up to speed there's plenty of mayhem and bloodshed. The lawyer and a client fight their way up the 8th floor in order to get a board member to cancel the client's foreclosure and see about getting the lawyer his job back. Many fall along the way, eventually the tower is conquered and the villain slain.

It was fairly fun but I'm not sure I will buy it. I'll put it on my Wish List for now.

French Touch 1952

French Touch 1952 written by Serge Véber and Jean Boyer, directed by Jean Boyer. A French comedy film called Coffeur Pour Dames over there.

Fernanal had a career that started in 1931, his last picture was in 1970, he passed away the following year. He was fairly popular but I've think the only picture of his that I've seen is the 1956 Around The World In 80 Days where he played a French footman. I don't remember anything about that role and it's most likely that I will have forgotten to keep an eye out for him by the time I see the movie again.

In French Touch, a man, played by Fernandel, works his way from being a sheep shearer on a farm to being the most important hairdresser in France. It takes him a while to do it and there are several stages, at one point he's a dog groomer, later he's styling doll's hair. His power over women goes to his head and his life takes a beating.

I enjoyed it for the most part, it's got some jokes of the rather broad and old and tied varieties. It's rather misogynistic but considering the era it's not unexpected. I took a chance picking up the DVD on Hamilton Books, it's a no company name DVDr, that's the cover above. Lucky for me it's watchable, it was 6 bucks, rather steep now that I've seen it. It's since disappeared from Hamilton's list in the last month and it doesn't seem to be on Amazon that I could find. You can watch a fairly decent subtitled copy on the Internet Archive.

Friday Night Movies 942

Punk Samurai Slash Down 2018 Based on the novel Panku-zamurai, kirarete sôrô, screenplay by Kankurô Kudô, directed by Gakuryû Ishii.

A ronin gets involved with the court squabbles of a small lord and a lot of people and monkeys die. There's a fair bit of action and plenty of comedy, as the movie progresses it gets weirder and weirder. You can get a bit of an idea from the trailer link in the title above.

I enjoyed most of the film but I doubt I would buy a copy of the Blu-ray. I might not get back to it.

The Amusement Park 1975 Screenplay by Wally Cook, directed by George A Romero.

I'm not going to buy a copy of George's film either. The Wikipedia called it an American psychological horror film. Fancy description. It's an hour long short that George produced for the Lutheran Service Society of Western Pennsylvania as an educational film about elder abuse. He shot it in 1973, It premiered at the American Film Festival in 1975 and wasn't released anymore. In 2020 it was restored and we watched the Blu-ray that came out of that work.

An old man wanders around an amusement park, he talks about the plight of the elderly and has plenty of age related issue examples. The park is noisy and filled with people aimlessly milling about, getting in his way. Why anyone would go there is beyond me.

If I saw this on YouTube and George wasn't directing, I doubt I'd sit through it to the end. I got the message loud and clear and it's pretty sad to see there's not been much improvement since. Glad to have seen it but I wouldn't need to see it again.

Friday Night Movies 941

Slaughterhouse Rules 2018 Screenplay by Henry Fitzherbert and Crispian Mills, directed by Crispian Mills. First production from Stolen Picture, a company formed by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

Simon Pegg is is Mr Houseman, a teacher at a fancy upscale private school. Michael Sheen is the greedy head of school. He's made a deal with frackers to drill for oil shale out in the woods. He bans the students from the woods.

Finn Cole plays a Northern working class student called Donald. His mother signs him up for the school without his knowing about it. Donald's not happy going there, it's a stereotypical English boarding school with secrets, class and bullying.

A giant sinkhole opens in the woods. The fracking also releases methane gas. It makes a nice green flame when lit. It turns out there's something down there and it's come up for a look. Most of the students are lucky, they've gone home for the weekend. Poor Donald has to stay and be bullied by his house Prefect.

I enjoyed the heck out of it. I enjoyed the in-jokes referring to other famous school films. There's plenty of comedy and some gory bits. It gets a 5.3 on the IMDb, I gave it a 6 because it's better than a 5. I bought the DVD from Hamilton Books sight unseen, glad I did, I'd watch it again sometime.

Polterheist 2018 Written by David Gilbank, Gemma Head and Paul Renhard, directed by David Gilbank.

Boxy and Tariq are a couple of lowlifes that work for Frank. They collect money from the gang's drug dealers, money Frank has been stealing. Frank's boss Uday wants that money, he's going to kill Boxy and Tariq if they don't show up with the cash in four days. The problem is Boxy just killed Frank, he was holding Frank's head underwater to make him spill where the money is and things got out of hand.

The pair get the idea to kidnap a medium who can supposedly talk to the dead. She can find out from Frank where the money is. Frank takes over the woman's body and leads the pair on a chase for the cash. It doesn't go so well for Boxy and Tariq but the medium gets away with a nice payout.

It's violent and humorous. I thought it was better than the 4.2 it gets on the IMDb. That's been screwed with by the voters, 16% voted it a 10 and 18% voted it a 1. There's complaints in the comments about the reviews. I'd watch it again.

Die Gruft Mat Dem Ratselschlob 1964

Die Gruft Mit Dem Rätselschloss 1964 Based on the 1908 Edgar Wallace novel Angel Esquire, screenplay by Robert A Stemmle and Franz Josef Gottlieb, directed by Franz Josef Gottlieb. A German film released in the US as The Curse Of The Hidden Vault. Filmed in Germany and London.

A criminal has secured his loot in a booby trapped vault. Some criminals try to break into the vault. Inspector Angel is on the case. The criminal escapes the baddies and his house and vault kill a few more people. Some of the traps were entertaining. On the whole the movie delivered a good story.

Dog Eat Dog 1966

Dog Eat Dog 1966 Written by Robert Bloomfield, Michael Elkins and Robert Hill, directed by Robert Cunha and Gustav Gavrin. A German crime film with Jayne Mansfield, Ivor Slater and Cameron Mitchell.

Jayne, Cameron and Ivor steal a million bucks. Ivor decides not to share with Cameron and kills him. They have a hard time hiding out, they aren't bright. Things get worse as the movie progresses.

It's entertaining in a watching stupid people having a hard time surviving in the world sort of way. I have no problem laughing at misfortune. It's about average in the production department. You can try it out at YouTube.

Agent 077 Trilogy

Agent 077: Mission Bloody Mary 1965 Written by Sandro Continenza, Marcello Coscia and Leonardo Martin, directed by Sergio Grieco. All three films are Italian, Spanish and French productions.

Ken Clark is Dick Mallory, a spy on the trail of the Black Lily, a bunch of criminals who've just stolen a nuclear bomb code named Bloody Mary. Dick tracks the gang from France to Spain and to Greece. I remember a lot of water and plenty of running.

Agent 077: From The Orient With Fury 1965 Written by Sandro Continenza and directed by Sergio Grieco.

Dick's trying to keep a disintegrator gun out of the hands of some baddies. They chase Dick from France to Spain and onto Istanbul in Turkey.

Agent 077: Special Mission Lady Chaplin 1966 Written by Sandro Continenza, Marcello Coscia, Giovanni Simonelli and Hipólito de Diego, directed by Alberto De Martino and Sergio Grieco.

This Dick is on the trail of a man who tried to sell a dog tag from crew member of a sunken nuclear submarine. The man is killed and Dick has to find the submarine on his own. When he does he finds the sub nukes are all missing. Oh oh!

They're all about the same production wise, the actors are good enough for dubbing. There's a fair bit of action, baddies fall left and right but there's nothing overly exciting about them, they aren't James Bond quality and not as entertaining as the OSS 117 series. You can find them all on YouTube, see links above.