PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Friday Night Movies 923

Seobok Project Clone 2021 Written and directed by Lee Yong-ju.

Seobok is a new species of human created by cloning and genetic manipulation. The process gave Seobok some mental powers but the companies goal is to tap into his bodily fluids and use that to create a longevity serum.

Seobok becomes the pawn of the old man who runs the company and one of the people in the intelligence agency who wants to sell Seobok to the Americans. Stuck in the middle is an ex-agent of the intelligence agency called Min who's supposed to get Seobok to his new digs. The transport is attacked by mercenaries and Min and Seobok go on the run. There's some fish out of water stuff and some gun fights along the way to the end of the movie. The factions interested in Seobok battle it out until most everyone is dead.

It's a longish movie, 115 mins, and it takes a while to get going. There's a few action scenes along the way but at it's core it raises questions of ethics in medicine. Is it OK to create a human clone for the purpose of harvesting it's biomass for medicine like an insulin pig and is it OK to kill everyone who opposes your plans. I enjoyed it for the most part but would have enjoyed it more if they had picked up the pace a bit. It's not going to get added to my library unless it's a free download which I probably wouldn't ever get around to again.

The Munsters 2022 Written and directed by Rob Zombie.

It's the Munster's origin story. A mad scientist puts Herman together and sends him out into the world. Herman gets some success as a comedian and meets Lily Gruesella and her father the Count. They get married and Lily's brother Lester tricks Herman into giving away the family castle to the Count's ex-wife. Herman, Lilly and the Count move to Hollywood, winding up at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

There's plenty of gags and slapstick, all briskly paced to keep the story moving. Some of them work well, other's pratfall. I got plenty of laughs from it and will eventually pick up the Blu-ray so I can watch it again someday. I need to re-watch the original show, I haven't seen much of it for years and years.

Friday Night Movies 922

The Humanoid 1979 Written by Adriano Bolzoni and Aldo Lado, directed by Aldo Lado. Aldo used the George B Lewis name in the US release. It's an Italian film and that sort of name change was really common to disguise the films origin. They didn't disguise any of the ideas they pilfered from the first Star Wars film.

That's Graal, he's the brother of The Great Brother who rules Metropolis. Graal wants to kill TGB and take over Metropolis. It's far in the future and Metropolis is the new name for the Earth.

Graal has escaped from a prison planet. Aboard a stolen warship he's enlisted Dr Kraspin to help him in his plan. Graal sends some troops to steal a supply of Kapitron. He's going to use it to change the citizens of Metropolis into a Humanoid army. Barbara Bach plays Lady Agatha, the Queen of Noxon, she's a bad bad lady. She wants to be Graal's wife and share the power. I didn't think Graal was the marrying kind.

Graal tests the Kapitron on a guy called Golob, who's played by Richard Kiel, and it's a success. The Kapitron turns Golob into a clean shaven killing machine. That's Golob with his robot dog. I did like the robot dog. The robot dog is no K-9 but Golob enjoys his companionship on long space trips.

Kraspin has been giving Lady Agatha anti-aging treatments. The core of the daily treatment involves killing a young woman everyday and using something extracted from her body for the serum. Graal, Kraspin and Lady Agatha are a trio of scumbags that need putting down.

Leonard Mann plays Nick, he's the hero of the story, he joins with a scientist called Barbara Gibson and a boy with powers called Tom Tom. Lucky for them Tom Tom has a couple of pals with bows and light up arrows, they are quite good at dispatching Graal's soldiers.

The two sides battle it out in space and on Noxon. The film uses locations in Israel for Noxon. It's very Tunisian. Eventually the baddies are defeated and Metropolis is saved.

For an Italian space opera is pretty darn good. It's not Star Wars good but the sets and effects are decent. The script is it's weakest element but it still gets you to the end of the story. I enjoy it more than most Italian SF and would watch it again.

Sint 2010 Written and directed by Dick Mass. I'd seen this several years ago and enjoyed it. Here's that 2016 post.

Saint Nick is the US title of the 2010 Dutch film Sint (Saint). It's written and directed by Dick Mass who had made videos for Golden Earring and several feature films I haven't seen. Sinterklaas is the Saint Nick of the title and he's a right bastard. We meet him at the beginning of the movie, it's December 5 1492 and ex-bishop Nick and his gang of thugs are visiting the town for their usual killing and looting. Some of the villagers get riled up and attack the men. They burn the ex-bishop's ship. He returns any time December 5 has a full moon.

The next time we see Nick it's 1968 and then it jumps to the present day. People don't believe the Saint Nick legend but some of them get pretty fucked up just the same. One teen fights back and there's a huge body count.

It's was pretty entertaining in a monster killing folks kind of way. It was interesting to see Amsterdam in a horror movie. It's kind of gory and definitely not a Christmas movie for kids. In fact Maas had a complaint filed against him. Here's the bit from the Wikipedia.

While children are not permitted to see the film, parental concern arose over the film's poster, seen in the streets and in the lobbies of movie theaters. It shows Sinterklaas with a mutilated face and a malevolent look. Some people were concerned that this could be confusing and frightening for little children that still believe in Sinterklaas. A legal complaint was filed in October 2010, requesting the removal of all posters. In the subsequent court case, director Dick Maas argued that if parents could make their children believe that Sinterklaas existed they could also inform their children that the man on the poster was not the real Sinterklaas. The court ruled in favor of Maas, noting that the mutilated face was not visible enough on the poster, and rejected the complaint.

Friday Night Movies 921

Slayer 2006  Written and directed by Kevin VanHook. TV movie that aired on the SciFi Channel.

Casper Van Dien is a soldier, he's just barely survived an encounter with some day walking vampires in South America. The Army downplays the vamps but 6 months later he's back in the jungle looking for those vampires. He's got an additional cliche to deal with, one of many, in that his wife is also down in SA in the same jungle. Linda Carter is his Colonel and his ex's godmother.

In the jungle Casper's best pal Grieves is turned. He starts leading the vampires with his military knowledge. There's some running around the jungle and plenty of vampire fighting. Since it's TV there's not a lot of gore and the fights are just so-so.

The whole movie is way below average. Weak plot, dialog and production. It doesn't get a 3.5 on the IMDb because everyone likes it. Lucky for me one of the other guys got it from Netflix DVD. I hear that service is being phased out next year. It's a wonder it lasted as long as it did.

The Intrigue 1916 Written by Julia Crawford Ivers and directed by Frank Lloyd. The film was photographed by James Van Trees, Julia Crawford Ivers son. The inclusion of a death ray weapon makes this silent film science fiction in some people's eyes. There's so little death ray it hardly counts.

An American inventor creates a ray gun but the US military turns him down when he offers to sell it to them. He heads for Europe and Baron Rogniat offers to buy the weapon. The Baron intends to kill the inventor but he's saved by Countess Sonia.

It's kind of interesting as a spy story with a bit of romance but there's no other SF elements, other than the ray gun, and that doesn't really get used much. You can see it on YouTube, click link above. It's got a bit of historical value in the end.

Friday Night Movies 919

Black Friday 2021 Produced by Bruce Campbell and Warner Davis, written by Andy Greskoviak, directed by Casey Tebo.

Bruce Campbell is the manager of a big box toy store called We Love Toys. It's Thanksgiving and tomorrow is Black Friday. Devon Sawa is a divorced father, he drops off his two daughters with the ex wife and her new family, and drives off to start his midnight shift at We Love Toys. It's a clumsy scene that made me wonder why he was dropping his daughters off in daylight and arriving at the store in the pitch black.

At the store the customers are lined up for nearly a block. There's some banter between the staff and the doors open. Things go along fine until an infected person infects the customers. Chaos breaks out and the infected start building something in the middle of the store. While the phones still work they fine that other stores are infected and the cops aren't answering their phones.

There's plenty of running about and violence. Characters get picked off pretty regularily. It was a bit slow getting going but it picks up the pace when the infected ramp up the violence. Somewhat entertaining but definitely average. Nothing new here really, the script is weaker than the direction, but it did have a few laughs. I probably will pick up a copy because Bruce is in it but I'll wait to see if it drops in price. Maybe I'll find a free download sometime.

Witch Academy 1995 Written by Mark Thomas McGee and directed by Fred Olen Ray. The Wikipedia says: Rey said it was the last of his "scream queen" films as the bottom was about to drop out of that market.

Robert Vaughn plays the Devil, he's poking his nose into the goings on at the Sigma Gamma Sorority. Some nasty women live there. When a party with some scummy frat boys gets cancelled they decide to invite a student, who's seeking membership, over for a bit of torture. The Devil turns the tables on the sorority gals by turning the initiate into a murderous monster.

There's not much story going on, just some horrible women mistreating a nice gal, but there are a lot of boobs. The script is poor, the acting poor but Robert Vaughn was OK. Some bit of fun but not something I need to pick up.

Friday Night Movies 918

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On 2022 Story by Dean Fleischer-Camp, Elisabeth Holm and Nick Paley, screenplay by Dean Fleischer-Camp and Nick Paley, directed by Dean Fleischer-Camp.

A guy finds he's got a talking shell called Marcel living in the house he's renting. He's a film maker and he decides to make a film about Marcel. It becomes a big hit on YouTube. Marcel is featured on 60 Minutes in a story that helps reunite him with his family.

It's humorous and silly. I got a few laughs but I thought I would get really tired of Marcel if I had to live with him. Not one I would need to see again.

Bloody Muscle Body Builder In Hell 1995 Written and directed by Shinichi Fukazawa. Filmed in 1995 but not released until 2012. Shinichi wanted to make an over the top ghost story like The Evil Dead but still keeping true to the Japanese ghost story.

A body builder invites his ex-girlfriend and a psychic over to look at his dead father's haunted house. His father had killed his lover and buried her body under the floor of the house. That dead lady lingers in the house, she's still murder mad, and the psychic is the first one to fall under her ire. The body builder tries to keep his ex alive but that doesn't work so well.

It's pretty low budget and the actors are pretty poor. It's fairly wacky and a bit over the top. It was alright but I wouldn't need to pick up a copy.

Friday Night Movies 917

The Wonderful World Of The Brothers Grimm 1962 Based on the biography The Brothers Grimm by Dr Hermann Gerstner, story by David P Harmon, screenplay by Charles Beaumont, William Roberts and David P Harmon, directed by Harry Levin with George Pal directing the fairy tale sequences.

The film was filmed in three panel Cinerama widescreen. The film hadn't had a US video release since the 1989 VHS and the 1992 Laserdisc. The Wikipedia tells of a bootleg Italian DVD. I know I haven't seen it in decades. I'm sure I saw it on TV as a kid. The film's been restored and presented in two versions, letterbox and Smilebox. We watched the letterbox and the dragon sequence on the Smilebox.

That's the Smilebox. Letterbox below.

Laurence Harvey plays Wilhelm and Karlheinz Böhm plays Jacob, Claire Bloom plays Wilhelm's wife and Barbara Eden plays Greta, a young woman smitten with Jacob. Oskar Homolka plays the Duke and Walter Slezak plays a bookstore owner called Stossel. Other members of the cast that I knew were Yvette Mimieux, Russ Tamblyn, Jim Backus, Beulah Bondi, Terry-Thomas, Buddy Hackett, Otto Kruger and Arnold Stang. Stan Freberg does some voices for the Puppetoons puppets.

The Brothers Grimm have taken a writing assignment from the local Duke. They are writing his family history and are nearly at the end of the 6 month project. The Duke is mad because it's not quite finished and he knows Wilhelm has been devoting some of his writing time to the fairy tales he loves so much. The brothers need to get this work done or the Duke won't pay them, he'll toss them out of their house and send them to the debtor's prison.

Wilhelm is a problem, not a practical man, he causes issues, nearly dies and hallucinates fairy tale characters and gives them names. Interspersed with the bio story are three short animated and live action fairy tales. They were nice to watch but the bio stuff was less interesting. I would have liked to see more fairy tales animated instead of incorrect bio info. It's fairly long too, 140 mins.

The Blu-ray looks nice but I'm doubtful I need to add it to my library. I can say the same about our second movie.

Amityville In The Hood 2021 Written by Jeremiah Douglas and Dustin Ferguson, directed by Dustin Ferguson.

Some joker is growing weed in the Amityville house, some guys steal it and take it to California. It's Big M's weed and he follows the weed to Cali. The drug guys have a dust up and kill some people. The weed turns people crazy and they kill other people. Sadly, most of that sort of action takes places off screen. What we have to sit through are some bad actors reading crap dialog from a poorly written script that was never thought through in the first place.

It was hard to sit though without heaping scorn on the film. The movie scores a 1.8 on the IMDb. It's deserving, just about everything about it is poor.

Friday Night Movies 916

The King's Man 2021 Based on the comic series The Secret Service by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, story by Matthew Vaughn, screenplay by Matthew Vaughn and Karl Gajdusek, directed by Matthew Vaughn. We watched the 4K version and it looked nice.

The movie is a prequel to the first two films. The story starts in 1902 with a visit to a concentration camp in South Africa by the Duke of Oxford. The Duke is shot in the leg during an attack by a Boer sniper. The Duke's wife Emily is killed and the Duke's son Conrad saw his mother die. The story jumps ahead 12 years and the Duke has created a private spy network using the servants of the powerful.

Conrad wants to go to war but the Duke tries to stop him. He's not successful and Conrad is mistakenly killed by a soldier in the British Army. There's a mysterious Scottish man who runs a secret organization from the plateau on a mountain in some remote location. He's a guy who needs killing.

There's a fair bit of action but the story is dark and bleak, I didn't care for it as much as the previous two films. I'll watch those again someday and give the third a miss. I did like the cast in it. Good choices. It's a bit ponderous, a nice trim would not be a miss, a good Kingsman movie might be salvaged out of there.

Voyage Of The Rock Aliens 1984 Written by Edward Gold and James Guidotti, directed by James Fargo and Bob Giraldi. We watched the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray.

It's a SF musical comedy with Pia Zadora playing Dee Dee. Some aliens make a stop at planet Earth and get involved with Dee Dee and the local musical scene. Dee Dee's boyfriend Frankie has a gang and a band, they are the same guys. Frankie doesn't want Dee Dee to sing with him, he's mostly a dick. The aliens prove to be a match for Frankie in a battle of the bands.

Pia does a lot of songs, some of which were from her newest album. A music video duet with Pia and Jermaine Jackson was shot in Italy. It wasn't shot for the film but the producer's worked it into the opening. It's supposed to take place on a distant planet the alien's are visiting. Knowing that explains why Pia seems to be on two planets.

There's way too many songs and the story is really goofy. James Guidotti's original screenplay was a spoof of B-movies. The Wikipedia says:

"It's a little like sitting home and watching TV late on a Saturday night, all the while switching channels from 5 to 9 to 11 and to 13," Guidotti explained. "On channel 5 they're airing an old Beach Party movie; on 9 one about alien invaders; on 11 a film about a mad, homicidal maniac on the loose; and on 13 a rock 'n roll program." When Guidotti's script was spotted by executives at the production company Inter Planetary Curb, Vice President of Development Edward Gold and consultant Charles Hairston polished the script, turned it into a musical, and the film went into production under the title Attack of the Rock 'n' Roll Aliens.

I might have enjoyed that movie more than what we watched. There's plenty of jokes but many fall flat. I still enjoyed watching it, especially after the downer we just watched, but I didn't feel I needed to invest in a copy. You can test drive it on YouTube. You might like it.

Friday Night Movies 915

The Devil Rides Out 1968 Based on the 1934 Dennis Wheatley novel of the same name, screenplay by Richard Matheson, directed by Terence Fisher. A movie so memorable that none of us could remember seeing it at movie night in December 2009. Below is the post I made then.

Our second feature is the 1968 Hammer film The Devil Rides Out. It's based on a 1934 Dennis Wheatley novel. Christopher Lee plays the Duc de Richleau. He's an expert on the occult who's trying to save his friend Simon from the hands of a devil worshiping coven. He's got the help of his pal Rex. Good boy. They need to get Simon away from the cult before he's initiated and his soul is lost forever. Charles Gray is the leader of the cult. You might remember him as Blofeld in Diamonds Are Forever, or as the narrator in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. "It's just a jump to the left." Gray is a formidable opponent, he's got the devil for a master. The devil does make an appearance in the movie but he's easily dispelled by tossing a crucifix at him. What a pussy. There's a lot of running around and the old cars are nice. It's set in the sort of 30's you get when you have a small budget. People still seem to like it. It gets an amazing 7.2 on the IMDb and Christopher Lee said it was his favorite film. Perhaps because it was one of the few that feature him as the hero. More were planned but the first wasn't too good a draw at the box office and they were never made. I thought it was OK but a tad boring at times. I don't see what others are crazy about in these films  but I've never been a staunch Hammer supporter. They made cheesy low-budget horror films and some are more interesting than others. Not sad I saw it but it's another that I don't need to run out and buy.   

Back to the present. I think pretty much the same now as I did then. Vincent is only barely the hero, he's mostly a failure at communication and planning. Charles Gray is more to blame for his own destruction by calling the Angel of Death.

Turns out years after seeing the movie I did wind up buying the DVD. It was packed with 20 other Hammer films in a box set that I bought in 2018 when I was trying to gather in as many Hammer films as I could before they disappeared on disc. I have a good number of them and a lot of them are much more entertaining than The Devil Rides Out.

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde 1931 Based on the 1886 novella by Robert Louis Stevenson  The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, screenplay by Samuel Hoffenstein and Percy Heath, directed by Rouben Mamoulian. We watched the nicely restored version on Blu-ray.

Fredric March play Dr Jekyll, he won an Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role for the performance, he tied with Wallace Berry who won for his role in The Champ.

Jekyll is laughed at for his thoughts on splitting the evil and good sides of a man's personality. He develops a potion and it turns him into Mr Hyde. Soon Mr Hyde controls his life with Jekyll looking forward to his life in the gutter's of London. He forsakes his fiance and takes up with a singer in a tavern. He keeps her in a flat and treats her rough with whipping and beatings. Jekyll's life falls apart and he's finally killed by the police.

It's fairly good but I watched the Dan Curtis TV film from 1968 and that was a much more interesting adaption of the story.

Friday Night Movies 914

Border 2018 Based on the short story of the same name by John Ajvide Lindqvist, screenplay by Ali Abbasi, Isabella Eklöf and John Ajvide Lindqvist, directed by Ali Abbasi. John's horror story collection is also home to the story that became the film Let The Right One In. No vampires in this film but there are plenty of other creatures in Swedish mythology.

A Swedish fantasy film about a woman with a secret. She meets a man with the same secret and discovers more about her past. You can get some idea what it's about from the trailer above. There's a good script with a good cast to bring it to life. I'm glad to have talked myself into picking up the Blu-ray. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone but there will be those that appreciate it.

The Contractor 2022 Written by JP Davis and directed by Tarik Saleh.

A decent looking film with a poorly written story about a guy I wouldn't want to spend any time with. The 30 minute opening act is so tedious we were internet browsing, complaining to each other on the dullness and wishing, out loud, for something to happen. Interminable! (Imagine that in Wallace Shawn's voice.)

Chris Pine plays a Green Beret that gets tossed out of the service for taking steroids. Faced with money troubles before he gets tossed out, he's no clever monkey despite being a Green Beret, he joins up with a mercenary group. Ben Foster plays an old military buddy and Kiefer Sutherland plays the head of the group.

Chris goes on a mission to Berlin, spying on a scientist that he's told is working developing some sort of virus for some terrorists. Turns out the guy's got some sort of cure going on. Things go wrong during an extraction of the virus, Chris kills the scientist and burns his lab. They have a fire fight with the police and everyone is dead but Chris and Ben. Ben goes for help while Chris rests from his injured knee. Back in Berlin Chris is attacked by men Kiefer sent. He escapes and returns to the US to inflict some vengeance on Kiefer.

It stinks! Don't watch it. The action is only about fair and there's not that much of it. There's way too much back story with Chris's past and it's so poorly told I just want to smack everyone involved with the flaming skull of Paul Naschy. I didn't need to see it and I'm glad someone else paid Netflix to send it to them.

Friday Night Movies 913

Espionage In Tangier 1965 Story by Herbert Curiel, screenplay by R Belgrozo, directed by Gregg C Tallas. A Spanish Italian production.

 

A mad scientist has invented a disintegrator pistol. Agent S 077 is assigned to the case. We follow him around as he annoys everyone. There's some baddies and some pretty ladies. The dialog makes little sense at times and the fights are often poor. It's a bit of a loser. I wouldn't need to see it again.

Drive 1997 Written by Scott Phillips and directed by Steve Wang. We watched the MVD Director's Cut Blu-ray of the movie, it's got restored scenes and plenty of new extras. When I saw Drive back in 1999 I thought it was a highly entertaining action driven chase film. I watched it several times with other people but hadn't seen it for several years.

Mark Dacascos is an augmented special agent from Hong Kong. He's got a special device in his chest that makes him stronger and quicker than your average martial arts expert. He has decided to leave Hong Kong, he's going to sell the device to a company in Los Angeles for $5,000,000. James Shigeta plays the boss of the company that makes the device, he wants to keep the device from getting into other people's hands.

The baddies catch up to Mark in San Francisco, he's crossed the ocean by stowing away on a ship. He manages to escape and after kidnapping Kadeem Hardison in a bar they race across California. John Pyper-Ferguson and his toady Tracey Walter lead the gang that's chasing them. The pair get a room in a motel that Brittany Murphy is managing for her parents. She helps the guys out and the baddies blow up her motel. It was a darn good explosion. There was nothing left of the motel.

It's got a great script with a great sense of humor. The action, martial arts and stunt work are the equal of any top notch Hong Kong action film. Mark kicks the crap out of a horde of baddies in some entertaining fights. There's some nice scenery as the guys travel from San Francisco to Los Angeles. There's a big ending fight in a NASA themed restaurant. It doesn't survive the fight too well, neither do the baddies. Mark and Kadeem head for LA without anyone on their trail.

Why this movie isn't more popular beats me. It doesn't seem to make any of those best martial arts movie lists I see once in a while. It scores a 6.6 on the IMDb, I gave it a 7, it's easily that good or better.

I liked the director's cut so much I ordered one as soon as I got home. I would have ordered it on my tablet during the movie but I couldn't remember my Amazon password. I'm curious about the commentary and extras, the earlier DVD I have has no special features.