PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

Bigfoot 1970

Bigfoot 1970 Written and directed by Robert F Slatzer.

A pilot parachutes from her conked out plane only to kidnapped by a Bigfoot in need of a woman to keep his species going. That's Joi Lansing on the left, she's the pilot. The other lady is Judy Jordan, she plays the girlfriend of a biker. The gals are in trouble, the local Bigfoot tribe have kidnapped them for breeding purposes. Or lunch, it's not clear yet.

John Carradine and his business partner John Mitchum are traveling through the same area in search of customers. John M is the younger brother of Robert Mitchum. The biker who's gal was taken by Bigfoot is played by Christopher Mitchum, he's Robert Mitchum's son. Bing Crosby's son Lindsay plays one of the bikers and Doodles Weaver is a forest ranger.

None of them can do much with the dialog, the story or the budget. It's lacking in all respects. The director is lacking a Wikipedia page, his IMDb page lists two feature films and a documentary on John Wayne. I've seen Slatzer's 1968 film The Hellcats. It was a MST3K selection that I saw when it originally aired, I watched it more recently, 2015, when I worked my way through one of those 50 Movie Packs. I gave that The Hellcats a 2.

Bigfoot is about 50% better so I gave it a 3. Still poor. You can watch it at the link above, though why you would...

 

Legends Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977

Legend Of Dinosaurs And Monster Birds 1977 Screenplay by Masaru Igami, Isao Matsumoto and Ichirô Ôtsu, directed by Junji Kurata.

 

Made by Toei Company, the studio was inspired by Jaws, the film did poorly in the Japanese theaters but was a block buster in the Soviet Union. It was known in the US as The Legend Of Dinosaurs and it was used in the last episode of the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 which was produced by KTMA. That version was chopped up a good bit, the original movie got a US DVD release in 2007 from Media Blasters and that's what I watched.

A woman falls into a cavern, in the Aokigahara region near Mount Fuji, she awakes to find fossilized eggs, one of which hatches. She runs off and scares a construction crew with her hysterics. A geologist called Takashi goes to take a look, while hiking around Mount Fuji he's knocked out and wakes up in the cabin of a family friend. Takashi continues his hunt for the eggs, on the way he meets an old girlfriend Akiko. She's there with her friend Junko, a scuba diver, who wants to dive in the lake where a couple in a small boat went missing.

A diver is injured in the lake, livestock have gone missing, wild theories of living dinosaurs are tossed out to the dubious public. Well, turns out it wasn't a dinosaur, it was two, one of them a plesiosaurus and the other a rhamporhynchus. The pair battle it out and the volcano erupts killing both dinos. It's a bad day on Mount Fuji and the movie ends on a cliffhanger.

I was much more entertained by the movie than on MST3K. It was like seeing a whole different movie, the MST3K version had so much trimmed out of it. It's a more adult film than I thought, there's a bit of gore, mild by today's standards and a brief bit of nudity. I'd watch it again.

I'm not sure why it did so poorly in the Japanese box office. It was Toei's biggest budget, $2.8 million and it didn't even get a third of that back in receipts. It never got released theatrically in the US but it was released to TV in 1987.

Jonathan Ross' Myths And Legends Series 1

Jonathan Ross' Myths And Legends Series 1 Four episodes that aired March 13 to April 3 2023.

Johnathan travels across Britain to take a look at the men, women and beasts of myth and legend. In Episode 1 he's in Northern England, in Episode 2 he's in Wales, in Episode 3 he's in the Isle Of Skye and the Scottish Highlands, in the last Episode he's in South West England.

There's three or four places and things to see each episode, if one doesn't interest you, another might. He's got a few guests: Maggie Aderin-Pocock, Simon Entwistle, Michael Sheen, Neil Gaiman and Brian Froud. All in all it's generally entertaining, thought I doubt I'd need to see it again.

Konga TNT 2020

Konga TNT 2020 Story by Brett Kelly, screenplay by Trevor Payer, directed by Brett Kelly.

A Canadian production of the worst sort. It's been taking a shellacking from giant monster fans for a while, I'm not bucking the trend. It scores a 1.9 on the IMDb and 60% of it's scores are a 1. The most exciting thing about the movie is that poster, nothing like that happens in the movie. It's supposed to be a comedy but the jokes fall flat. I saw it for free on Amazon Prime and all I could think of is that Amazon doesn't have a variable speed video player. I wouldn't recommend it to much anyone. Plenty of better movies out there.

The Great Alligator 1979

The Great Alligator 1979 Story by George Eastman, screenplay by Casare Frugoni and Ernesto Gastaldi, directed by Sergio Martino. Original Italian title Il fiume del grande caimano. That translates to The Giant Alligator River and the movie appeared under that name in a few places, in the US it was The Great Alligator. In Canada it was The Big Alligator River, that title was also used on the US DVD box. West Germany has my favorite title Der Fluß der Mörderkrokodile.

There's about 25 mins of nothing much going on until the alligator starts attacking a new tourist resort in Africa. It's really Sri Lanka but I couldn't tell. Mel Ferrer is the resort owner and Barbara Bach is assistant. A photographer is visiting the area when the attacks begin. Many locals are slaughtered and the living local believe it's the tourists fault. There's some tribe and tourist friction.

It's a below average giant monster movie but not by too much. I got a few laughs out of it but that first long stretch before the critter shows  up is a hump. When it does show up it lacks greatness. You can see if you like the movie on YouTube in the link above.

Frankenstein 1973

Frankenstein 1973 A two part TV production that was based on the Mary Shelley novel, screenplay by Sam Hall and Dan Curtis, directed by Glenn Jordan. It was part of ABC's Wide World Of Mystery. Dan Curtis is the creator of Dark Shadows and Kolchak The Night Stalker with Darren McGavin. I've seen Kolchak a few times through and I saw a fair bit of Dark Shadows when it was on originally. I've got the box set of DS and hope to get through it someday.

Dan produced a good number of horror titles for TV over the years. I saw Frankenstein when it was first aired. I was well into being a genre movie fan back then. I just naturally gravitated to them. I hadn't seen this production since it was first aired.

Robert Foxworth is Victor Frankenstein, Susan Strasberg is Victor's wife and Bo Swenson is the monster. It's a fairly decent adaptation of the book as far as I can remember. It's been a while since I read it, mid to late 80s. No matter, the Wikipedia provides.

Victor is totally wrapped up in his man made man. His careless handling of the monster leads to much harm from the confused, spurned and poorly trained creature. A good reminder not to got down the resurrection road. Bo does a good job as the monster and most of the rest of the cast is adequate to good. It's shot on video and it looks rather flat and dark. 

I enjoyed watching it and was glad to have added the DVD to my stack. I'd watch it again someday.

Nightmare City 1980

Nightmare City 1980 Screenplay by Piero Regnoli, Tony Corti and Jose Luis Delgado, directed by Umberto Lenzi. I thought I had seen the movie before but it sure didn't look familiar. It was shot on location in Madrid and in studios in Rome.

A big military plane lands and deformed humans exit with murder on their minds. There had been a recent nuclear accident and these men seem to have been affected. They run fast and bite hard, they need to feed on blood to stay alive. A bullet to the head will also put them down but it doesn't seem to bother them much in other body parts.

The city gets over run and the military fight back. A reporter moves in and out of the story trying to get to his wife. They escape the city but the contaminated follow quickly. Most people are overwhelmed by the horde of deformed. This goes on quite a while and then the reporter wakes from a dream. He goes off to the the airport only to see the plane from his dream land. Three writers and that was the best they could come up with to end the story. That ending is so contrived that there should be a round of smacks to the heads of the film makers with Paul Naschy's fleshless skull.

I found most of it about average for a monster movie but it loses points for the cliched ending. I didn't think there was much to recommend about it, just a lot of scenes of slaughter and some talking heads to fill in the gaps. I got the DVD cheap and I'll keep it. I might want to see it again someday but it seems doubtful.

Legendary 2013

Legendary 2013 Written by Andy Briggs and directed by Eric Styles. A UK and Chinese production that was filmed in China.

It's a hunting mythical creatures movie with Dolph Lundgren as a villainous big game hunter. He just wants to kill everything, including people who get into his way. Scott Adkins is a mythical creature hunter who gets hired to lead a team into China. At a remote construction site men are disappearing. A giant lizard is running about snacking on the crew. Scott and the guy who hired him want to capture the critter but Dolph has other ideas. He's working for the company that owns the remote site, he's got a head start and an itchy trigger finger.

It's a $12,000,000 movie that looks like pretty good, there's some nice scenery and descent CGI for the monster. The cast is mostly OK, some of the Chinese actors seems a bit wooden but that might be more the language barrier than their ability. There's nothing overly special about it, it's like a lot of similar films you've seen already. I saw it on Amazon Prime, where it's only got a few days to be free. I often seem to find that the free movie I add to my watchlist are not free by the time I get back to them, that or they're gone from the site. One of the reasons I don't care much for streaming services. You can also see a copy on YouTube, link above.

Friday Night Movies 847

Howl From Beyond The Fog 2019 Written and directed by Daisuke Sato. I read this bit on the Wikizilla entry for the movie: It is inspired by the 1951 short story "The Fog Horn" by Ray Bradbury, which also served as the basis for the 1953 film The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms.

A 35 minute short about a local dragon that lives in a lake on a mountain. It only appears when the fog come out and it does eat people. Luckily for Takiri and Eji it usually dines on people you wouldn't miss if they got chomped on.

It's animated with puppets and some digital animation. There were nice models of the local village and the people's houses. The puppets of people were doll like and had no actual movement. You can see them in the trailer. They were the least interesting thing about the movie to me. I liked the big puppet for the monster, it's about as big as a man which gives you an idea of the scale of the sets. I enjoyed the short but I'm not putting the video on my Wishlist. I think it's going to appeal more to the Kaiju fan.

House Shark 2017 Written and directed by Ron Bonk. I was disappointed that the shark did not eat the house. Ron describes the film as: Jaws in the house. It failed at getting big money at Indiegogo so they had limited funds and a small crew.

Some doofus guy is getting ready for a big date and he's got his teen son a babysitter. While he returns he hears yelling from the bathroom, he rushes up there to see the babysitter getting attacked and eaten by a shark in the toilet. The son is shaken up but OK. Next we see father and son it's two months later and we find the pair sleeping in a tent in the yard. Dad's really afraid to go into the house, the police didn't believe the shark story, they believe it was a sewer malfunction that created a huge vacuum. We know it wasn't but try convincing the police of anything. Dad's ex-wife shows up and takes the son, we don't see him anymore.

It is a comedy, albeit a bit gory, but the script and the long running time perform GBH on the gags. It's a 112 min movie and that's way too long. Get an editor that isn't you, Ron. I actually did laugh out loud 4 or 5 times but I wasn't always laughing at the jokes, more the way they were told. Often the script made no sense at all and calling it absurd just doesn't cut it for me. Some of what Ron found funny I didn't think was. Scenes started off kind of fun but often ran way too long, then the payoff was often poor. I'd still recommend it for the fan of odd ball movies but I'm still disappointed that the shark wasn't big enough to eat a house. Just my lot in life I guess. I wouldn't bother with the DVD, even at $1.99 over at Hamilton Books. You can check it out on YouTube, maybe you'll get a laugh, of whatever kind.

Friday Night Movies 845

Cult Of The Damned 1969 Kino Lorber DVD that was originally titled Angel, Angel, Down We Go. Written and directed by Robert Thom. Around 1960 Thom wrote a play for his wife Janice Rule. It never got produced so he changed it into a screenplay and sold it to Sam Katzman who got finance from AIP. They were the producers of the Thom scripted Wild In The Streets.

It's Thom's only directing job but he'd written several films that you might have heard of: All The Fine Young Cannibals, The Subterraneans, Wild In The Streets, Bloody Mama and Death Race 2000. Most people into genre films probably have seen the last picture but hardly any of his other work. Probably good in the aggregate. I've only seen the last three and don't plan to bother with the others.

Wild In The Streets is a bit of a cult classic but it's a big ol' mess of a movie. Cult Of The Damned is an even bigger mess and it's tedious to boot. WITS had a good song, The Shape Of Things To Come, and COTD has Angel, Angel, Down We Go. It's an absolutely appalling song and later in the movie there's another song, by the same band, that's even worse.

Holly Near plays the overweight and neurotic adult daughter of a rich guy and his wife. Jennifer Jones plays the mother and Charles Aidman plays the father. The parents are an awful pair of abusers and manipulators. Jordan Christopher is the lead singer in a band that was hired to play at Holly's 18th birthday bash and coming out party. Holly runs off with Jordan and his band. They have some adventures and Jordon seduces her parents. Lou Rawls, Davey Davidson and Roddy McDowall play Jordan's band members and friends. None of them are very interesting, they aren't the sort of people I would like to hang around with. All their tedious and pretentious antics are slathered in psychedelic claptrap and crap pop songs by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil.

The IMDb calls it a crime drama. What are they on about? See if you can spot any crimes, other than the film being presented to the public, by watching it. A link to a fair copy on YouTube is in the title above but be warned, the movie did crap at the box office and Holly Near called it "trash". To be fair to the film the family thinks Holly had been kidnapped even though there's no indication of it. Mom wants to go to the police but dad doesn't want any publicity, he's got his own detectives on the case. That's just the sort of writing that might have made the Los Angeles Times call it "a pretentious mess" although "it can never be said to bore." I say, "Oh yes, it can!" They tried releasing it the following year under the Cult Of The Damned title in a double bill with The Vampire Lovers. The Los Angeles Times said it was "a terrible piece of trash." It's the same LA Times reviewer, Kevin Thomas, which made me think that his first viewing might still be bothering him a year later. I thought it was also possible he's mad that they tried to fool the public with a re-title of the film. It's certainly something that annoys me. With all the trash talk I still wouldn't like to see the movie tossed into the circular file. It's good to see these sort of films, if only to appreciate a well made film.

Monster Hunter 2020 Written and directed by Paul W S Anderson. Based on a Capcom video game.

Milla Jovovich plays a US Army Ranger Captain, head of UN team that's searching for a team lost in the desert. Milla's team gets overtaken by a big desert storm that forces them through a portal to a new world with giant monsters. After the team is decimated Milla teams up with Tony Jaa, a native of the new world. He'd gotten separated from his own team of monster hunters when he was thrown from their ship. Ron Perlman is the head of Tony's team, he's in the opening scene and doesn't show up again until the third act. I would have liked more Ron.

There's plenty of monster fighting and it's loud and bombastic. At times I was wishing they had dialed it back a bit but there you go, it seems there's always a new 11. After Ron turns up we get a much better idea of what goes on in the new world and why there should be a sequel. It's got a nice look to it and a wicked sense of humor.  The new world is a beautiful place, much of it was filmed in Namibia and South Africa, but it's filled with horrible giant bitey things, so, not much of a tourist destination in my mind. I enjoyed the thing and would watch it again someday. I'll put the Blu-ray on my Wishlist and keep an eye out for a nice price decrease.