PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS

The Mansion Of Madness 1972

I've seen The Mansion Of Madness a couple of different times in the past, the first about 11 years ago. It's the first movie for director Juan López Moctezuma. He's Mexican and he's made a few more movies. I had seen his Mary Mary Bloody Mary just a few weeks ago. TMOM is a 1972 movie that's set in horse and carriage days. A Doctor arrives at an insane asylum only to find that the inmates have taken over the place. He has quite a time before and after he discovers what's going on. There's plenty of weird shit happening but the movie never quite gets crazy enough to rise about being about average. You can find out for yourself at the link in the title above. It's another movie in the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movie Set. Maybe worth the 22 cents I spent on it though I don't know that I need to watch it much anymore. Three times must be enough.

Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie 1984

Wow, Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie is one of the weirdest, and poorest, of the Frankenstein movies I've seen. It really does earn the 3.1 score it gets on the IMDb. It's written, directed and produced by Myron J Gold and it once again proves that some people should delegate the work. Lucky for us it was his last picture. He only directed 4 and wrote them all plus 2 more. I hope to never see those movies. 

The town where the Frankenstein castle is wants to foreclose on the place and take it over to redevelop. Donald Pleasence is Victor Frankenstein and he arrives at the castle before the town gets their play into action. Victor brings his wife Tillie, played by Yvonne Furneaux, and a lady with large breasts named Randy. The large breasted Randy was played by Playboy model and actress June Wilkinson who, in the early 1960s, some called the most photographed nude in America.

They find the monster and Tillie revives it. Sadly nothing much happens in this poorly written farce. It's really quite dull and the jokes aren't funny. It's kind of the exact opposite of what I hope to find in a low budget independent film. That little gem.

No jewel here, that's for sure. It even tries for a level of goofiness that's just sort of embarrassing. It's funny when a 5 year old fucks up a joke but a grown man, that's just some sad shit right there. It's another movie on that Curse Of The Dead Multi Movies DVD Set that I got for a couple of bucks. So far I'm taking a lot of punches to the noggin.

Darker Side Of Romance 2002

Here's another loser from the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movie Set. Darker Side Of Romance is a 2002 film that could barely be called a feature film. It's only 53 minutes long and boring as hell. It's poorly made and I was sad to have seen it. It's just a crazy guy killing people. I don't need to see that. The only interesting thing was the budget was only $150. I wonder where the money went?

Legacy Of Blood 1978

Legacy Of Blood is a 1978 horror film from the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movie Set. It's screenplay was written by Eric Norden who adapted a story by director Carl Monson. Carl also directed Please Don't Eat My Mother. Neither are great films, Legacy Of Blood can't even get a 3 on the IMDb, Please Don't Eat My Mother does a bit better, scoring a 3.4, but it's more of a comedy and slightly more entertaining. John Carradine plays a dead guy who left his family a will that makes them spend a week in his house. People start to die and at the end there's a joke. Faith Domergue, Buck Kartalian, John Smith, Rodolfo Acosta, Jeff Morrow and John Russell are in the cast. I wouldn't watch it again but this is the second time I've seen the film so I guess that's a big failure. At least the copy I have only cost 22 cents so I didn't waste that much money on this on either.

It Happened At Nightmare Inn 1973

Here's another rather dull thriller from the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movie Set. It's about a crazy religious person who kills women who stay at her hotel because she thinks they are immoral. It Happened At Nightmare Inn is a 1973 Spanish film with Judy Geeson in the title role. She comes to a small town to meet her sister. When she gets to the hotel the sister isn't there and she's told that she left. She starts snooping around when another woman disappears suspiciously. Eventually the murderous sisters are exposed when an eye comes out of their huge wine barrel. It's not of much interest to me. Other folks seem to like it, it scores a 5.7 on the IMDb but I couldn't see the point.

Night Of Bloody Horror 1974

Night Of Bloody Horror is another film in the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movie pack. It's a 1974 film and the only interesting thing about it is that it's the first film for Gerald McRaney. Barely interesting was the promo gimmick that offered the families of theater patrons $1,000 if relatives died watching the film. Apparently no one claimed the cash. It's written by Robert A Weaver and director Joy N Houck Jr. It was the first of 6 films for Joy, who turns out to be a guy and an actor. Night Of Bloody Horror is a dull and uninteresting psychological thriller that I wound of fast forwarding through. Not much happens and it turns out to be Gerald's mom who's the crazy one. I wouldn't recommend it. You can see it on YouTube, there's a link in the title above, but don't bother.

Murder Mansion 1972

Murder Mansion is another selection from the Curse Of The Dead Multi Movies set. It's a 1972 Spanish Italian Horror Thriller about people who meet on the road. There's a bit of a rivalry between two men and a woman. They get lost in a fog and wind up in a creepy mansion. Strange things happen there. People get murdered. It's kind of slow moving and not much happens most of the time.

It's better than the first movie in the set. The IMDb gives it a 5 and I can't argue with that. It's not the type of movie that I would bother buying unless it was included in one of these multi movie sets. At 22 cents the money wasted isn't much.

Night Of The Beast 1993

I got one of those multi movie packs for 2 bucks.It's a 2004 release from Brentwood Video. The box makes me think Western but only Ghost Gunfighter might have a connection to the cover image. I'll find out when I get to the movie. I only had seen a couple of the movies and that's always nice in a multi movie set. It's currently $22 on Amazon, a price I don't think is worth the set. 

The first movie is called Lukas' Child on the box and Night Of The Beast on the film. The IMDb lists the latter title on their page for the movie. It's written and directed by Erik Louzil. He directed another dozen movies that I haven't seen and he produced twice as many movies. I haven't seen any of those either. Always a reminder that there's so much more to see. 

A crazy cult leader feeds women in underwear to "The Child". The police are looking for the missing women. One of the detectives is porn star Shanna McCullough under the name Marcia Gray. The cult continues to feed "The Child" but eventually they get caught.

It wasn't so good, it gets a 3.7 on the IMDb, but I wouldn't give it a 4. It's the kind of movie that I start speeding up to get to the end quicker. The script is just so-so and the acting isn't any better. There's not much good by way of production values and there's nothing that makes it stand out from the hordes of  low budget horror films you can see.

Freakshow Cinema - 12 Movie DVD Set

I'm a sucker for those cheap multi-movie packs. I see one of these sets on clearance and I think, "there's got to be something in there that's worth seeing. It's only 2 bucks! For 12 movies!" I'm always searching for that great Indy horror film, the one made by some brilliant guy who had no money and big balls. Peter Jackson's first film, Bad Taste, was a low budget SF alien invasion story that took him 4 years to make. It's absolutely entertaining, it lives up to it's name, and it's totally worth a look. Sadly that sort of brilliance comes around very seldom. Usually I wind up, after watching one of these movie packs, like the searchers for Blackbeard's Treasure, disappointed and covered in muck. This collection of twelve films is from the discount media king, Mill Creek Entertainment, and it's got a Circus Sideshow vibe on the cover. It says on the box: Over 17 hours of Freaks & Creeps. I put the peddle to the floor and got through the whole thing in much less time than that. Here's the list of movies, copied from the listing on Amazon, where the 3 disc DVD sells for $4.99. After seeing the set through I can say that it's certainly not worth that outlay of cash.

Tales of the Dead: Grim Stories of Curses, Horror and Gore

2010 - 75 Minutes  Some people at an English Halloween party watch some short horror films by the guy who directed the movie they're in. The shorts aren't so good and neither is the framing story. It's got a score of 3.9 on the IMDb, I gave it a 1 like 17 of 44 voters had, six people give it a 10. Definitely not a 10, no matter how you look at it. So far, batting 1 for 1, in favor of failure to find that great new film. I see Amazon will let you stream this for $2.99 which makes me think the few people that watch it are going to be sad they wasted that cash. 

Zombie Genocide: Legion of the Damned

2012 - 80 Minutes  This movie originally came out in 2006 as Deadlands: The Rising. It''s listed under that title on the IMDb. The movie is a pretty simple, some sort of biochemical weapon explosion turns people into zombies. Once you get started watching it becomes apparent that the movie's maker, writer director actor Gary Ugarek, lacks the skills needed to make movies. The script is poor, the images are muddy and poorly shot, the sound often drops out. Makeup was fair on some of the gore but the zombie make up was nothing much. They did have a low budget, reportedly under $10,000 and that does show on the screen. It's like a lot of other zombies films at the bottom of the barrel. There's nothing to make it stand out other than it being poorly made. It gets a 2.2 on the IMDb where I saw one user on the forum making a comment about the actors in the film voting to push up the movie's rating up by giving the movie a 10. I'd believe it, many of the movies in the set have low voting totals and way more 10 votes than they deserve.  Now I've seen two and neither is what I was looking for.

The Curse of Blanchard Hill

2006 - 74 Minutes  Utterly awful in every way. The script is uninteresting, the amateur actors can't do anything with it, and that adds up to boredom for me. The images were shot with different cameras that aren't color balanced, some shots are washed out, some are over lit, it goes on and on. The sound sucks at times, but that does keep you from hearing the dialog. I didn't like the annoying music. There's not much use seeing this one either. Out of 104 votes this movie got forty are 10's. It's only got twenty-seven 1's. I've just added another. Three strikes and sadly I'm not out (of crap yet).

Idol of Evil: Hell Is Forever

2009 - 95 Minutes  Here's one that's almost a movie. It's just not that well made and the story idea is kind of tired. Some guy's an Indiana Jones clone who gets involved with some Satanists looking for the spear that killed Christ. It's better than most of the other movies in the set but that doesn't mean I might want to watch it again.

Below Ground: Demon Holocaust

2012 - 76 Minutes  Some guy is a film maker and he records the zombie fueled end of the world on some film. It's mostly 5 people in a basement for the whole movie. It's pretty dull and uninteresting. Not a keeper, 5 by 5.

Order Of One: Kung Fu Killing Spree

2011 - 95 Minutes  A convict escapes and joins up with a reporter to find out who set him up. There's a trio of bimbo assassins after them and some Chinese gang boss in there too. It's better than most of the other movies in the set but I still wouldn't give it more than a 3. Still 6 of 6 but with two nearly passable films.

Cold Creepy Feeling: Paranormal Exorcism

2011 - 90 Minutes  It's a crappy haunted house movie. Well worth not seeing. The 7th fail.

Indemnity: Rage Of A Jealous Vampire

2011 - 60 Minutes  A guy is being chased by his ex-wife, she's a vampire, and there isn't much going on. You can see it on Daily Motion but I wouldn't bother with it if I were you. No pieces of 8 so far.

Glitter Goddess: Queen Of The Sunset

1991 - 115 Minutes  Completely out of left field comes a documentary on a woman who had a lesbian mom. It's a 1991 documentary about Lana Lloyd. She was a groupie in the 70's, not that I had ever heard of her. It's kind of boring and it goes on way too long. 9th strike out.

Dark Measures: Gang Warfare

2012 - 85 Minutes  One of the worst movies in the set. A story about some violent motorcycle gang that I really speed through. This is bad enough that it should count as two failures but it's still 10 out of 10.

By the Devils Hands: The 666 Killer

2011 - 90 minutes  Some slasher murder crap. I could see whacking the director in the nuts with Paul's Naschy skull. 11 of 11.

Tuck Bushman and the Legend of Piddledown Dale

2009 - 95 Minutes  According to the IMDb this English movie cost £2,000 and I can see that. It's a horror parody about a failed ghost hunter. It's pretty amateurish but it's got a fun enough cast and silly story. Not all the jokes are good ones but I liked it more than anything else in the set. I might want to see it again someday. So 12 of 12 movies don't deliver the holy grail to me. Not too surprising.

I'll keep the set in case I want to see Tuck again. I can always throw it away some other day.

Pure Terror 50 Movie Pack Disc 12

Finally to the last disc of Pure Terror 50 Movie Pack. It's got five more movies, and the second and third ones on the disc are the ones I haven't seen before.

 

Manos: The Hands Of Fate is a 1966 movie so poor that nudity couldn't help it. You might have seen it on MST3K at one time. I've certainly seen it more than enough times by now so I didn't bother with it this time.

Fangs Of The Living Dead is a 1969 Italian vampire movie with Anita Ekberg. It's written and directed by Amando de Ossorio who people seem to like for his Blind Dead movies. I've never gotten to be an Italian horror fan and I've seen one after another without any love for the genre. Anita goes to visit her Uncle in his castle. He's a weirdo that whips vampire chicks in his dungeon. She wants to leave but Uncle has a different plan for her. Her fiancé comes to see what happened but he's turned away by Uncle's henchman. She's trapped. It all reminds me relative sure can suck sometimes. There's the usual biting and eventually Uncle vampire burns up. There's a bit of a gag at the end. I hadn't seen it before and now that I have I wouldn't bother with it again.

 

It Happened At The Nightmare Inn is a 1973 Spanish film about two women who run a small hotel. They start killing the women who stay there because they don't approve of their morals. They're horrible scum who deserve their fate. Who would like this crap? People on the IMDb give the movie a 5.6 but it's certainly not the sort of movie that I want to see, that's for sure. I couldn't wait for it to be over. Lucky for me it was the shorter edited version. What a piece of crap.

Scared To Death is a 1946 Bela Lugosi horror comedy that appears in Natural Color. This transfer doesn't seem so natural but there you go. It's Lugosi's only color feature. It's written by WJ Abbott and directed by Christy Cabanne. George Zucco is the head doctor at his private sanitarium. His son, Roland Varno, is married to a shrew, Molly Lamont, who is trouble. She winds up dead, frightened to death, and she narrates how that came about. Bela plays a former stage magician who knew George and Molly in the past. His arrival throws the place into an uproar. Nat Pendleton is the sanitarium's fraidy-cat security guy and Gladys Blake is the nervous nosey maid, both are comic relief. It's not great but it's fun to watch. I wouldn't give it more than a 5 but I'd watch it again.

Bloody Pit Of Horror is a 1965 Italian American production with Mickey Hargitay. Some people come to an Italian castle to shoot covers for horror novels. They break into the castle and the owner, Mickey, tells them to leave. When Mickey sees the gals he decides to let them stay. The camera crew finds the crypt of evil and release the ghost of the Crimson Executioner by accident. He takes over Mickey's body and that starts the torture and killing. Who will survive? Who would care if they did? Not me. It's not really very good but there's a few laughs to be had watching Mickey chew up the scenery as the Crimson Executioner. It's barely better than many of the Italian movies I've seen. I'd watched it a few years back and wouldn't need to see it again. It does have a nice castle.

Between the two discs I added 5 new movies to my Watched Movie List. I wish it had been more but there you go. I think I'll take a break from the 50 movie packs for a while, two in such a short time is mind numbing. Still it gets me to nearly 400 movies for the year. Too bad so many of them are so poor.